The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Quickie

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June 28, 2006

- I'm still job hunting, waiting for calls from the nursing homes to which I submitted application forms and resumes.

- PC/Internet use is very limited for almost two weeks now. And this is frustrating me very much. My only best link to my loved ones and friends has been cut indefinitely. We transferred house, and there's no Internet yet at the new house. We just happened to sleep over the old house for this night, thus I was able to use the Internet.

- Grandfather is still at the hospital. He's been transferred to a private solo room, which is especially reserved for palliative-case patients. It's hard to be the one staying the whole day with him, waiting for the inevitable to happen. But I'm quite ready.

- The single I'm finishing with Emong Payaso is still ongoing. But we're nearly there. The results are great!

- This is it for now.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Ikaw Ba Ay Mistulang Nawawala?

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June 15, 2006
Thursday

Inspired by the incident occurred recently in Montreal, Quebec, which involved a school headmaster's punishing a Filipino boy for the latter's manner of eating--using a fork and a spoon. According to the headmaster, eating with spoon and fork is unethical, thus should not be tolerated. The headmaster punished the boy by letting him eat alone at a corner, separating him from the rest of the students, subjecting him to possible racial slurs and bullying by his fellow students. Here's a great blog article about the incident, as written by my friend Butch, "The Meaning of Ewww."

I didn't feel hatred for the headmaster, instead I pitied him for his ignorance that there are hundreds of cultures around the world. But, on second thoughts, I'd like to believe that he knows cultural diversity very well, and that most likely he's just feigning ignorance to justify his discriminatory acts towards other cultures.

Anyway, here's one of the two articles written by yours truly featured in the latest issue of The Filipino Journal. The other one being the first part of my Engkanto book which the newspaper is serializing.

Ikaw Ba Ay Mistulang Nawawala?
by aLfie vera mella


Hindi ka nag-iisa. Ang nararamdaman mo ay nararamdaman din ng libu-libong tao—Filipino man o hindi—na naninirahan sa ibang bansa.

Loneliness and solitariness are seething into my soul
Anxiety and uncertainty are digging in my heart a hole
Finding myself alone in a multiracial society
I sometimes feel scared and lost culturally and spiritually

Oo, mahirap manirahan sa ibang bansa. Mahirap na muling magsimula, lalo na kung mag-isa ka lang na nakikipagsapalaran, nagbabakasakaling makatikim ng mas masaganang búhay. Bukod sa pangungulila sa mga naiwang mahal sa búhay at paninibago sa klima, ang pinakamatinding bagay na iyong kahaharapin ay ang kultura at wika ng bansang nilipatan.

Handa ka na bang talikdan ang baun-baon mong prinsipyo at kaugalian, kapalit ng kultura at wika ng iyong bagong tahanan?

Dapat ka nga bang mamilì? Kailangan mo nga bang kalimutan ang iyong pagka-Filipino upang mayakap nang lubusan ang bago mong pagkatao?

Sa tingin ko, hindi. Hindi mo kailanman dapat itakwil o ikahiya ang bansang pinanggalingan ng iyong lahi—kasama na ang mga gawi, kaugalian, wika, at paniniwala na wala namang dulot na masama sa kapwa—ang mismong mga bagay na nagbibigay-karaktér sa iyong pagkatao.

Sa gitna ng pakikibagay at pakikisalamuha, maaari mo namang mapanatiling buo ang iyong dignidád at pagkatao. Ipagpatuloy ang mabubuting gawi habang inuunawa at sinusubukan ang mga bagong natututunan. Iwaksi ang hindi kanais-nais, at h’wag tularan ang nakasasakit at nakapeperwisyo.

Acknowledging Cultural Diversity
“People’s diverse sociocultural backgrounds influence their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. They affect all facets of life from their favorite foods to their beliefs about masculinity and femininity.”—Taylor et al,
Social Psychology (2003, Prentice-Hall Inc.)

An admirable social being is one who knows that cultural diversity or multiculturalism exists. She acknowledges that social behavior is largely influenced by a person’s cultural origin and affected by differences in cultural values, norms, and roles. She is adaptable enough to adopt new, positive, and progressive customs without shedding her own values and without finding herself lost in the mélange of cultures and languages. She is capable of respecting all these without losing pride in her own “tongue” and “skin.”

Many people—regardless of race and religion—have the tendency to assume that the behaviors of each of their own cultures are standard and typical. Usually, they who give in to this folly are the same people who commit racial prejudices, either intentionally or subconsciously. Every rational being should realize that each person is entitled freely to express her own culture and speak her own language, so long as she is able to use a common medium of communication and foster understanding in respect of the laws and the people of the country into which she immigrated.

Sa Madaling Salita

Ang susi sa kakayanang makipagkapwa sa kahit anupamang lahi ay ang pagkakaroon ng bukás na isipan at malawak na pananaw—handang umunawa at rumespeto sa kahit anupamang kultura.

Oo, hindi dapat isipin ng isang tao na ang kanyang mga gawi at paniniwala ang bukod-tanging tama at kaiga-igaya. Hindi n’ya dapat ipilit ang kanyang kultura na isabuhay ng iba, at hindi rin naman tamang basta-basta na lang magpaimpluwensya sa kultura ng iba.

Sa bandang huli, ang mahalaga ay mapanatili natin ang ating pagka-indibidwál at maipahayag nang buong-laya ang ating kultura nang hindi nakadudulot ng perwisyo sa kapaligirang ating ginagalawan at mga taong ating nakakasalamuha.

Kapag kilala mo nang lubusan ang iyong sarili, hindi kailanman mawawalan ng saysay ang iyong pagkatao. Kapag nasa puso mo ang kultura ng bansang iyong pinagmulan, hinding-hindi ka mawawala, saang lupalop ka pa man ng mundo magpunta.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Mabuti Naman At

(June 2006 poem)

Mabuti naman at malambot pa rin ang aking mga palad
Kahit na sa gawaing bahay ako paminsan-minsa’y bilád.

Mabuti naman at matibay pa rin ang aking kalooban
Kahit kadalasa’y ’lang magulang o kaybigang matakbuhan.

Mabuti naman at patuloy pa rin ako sa pagsusulat.
Sa aking mga naiisip ay marami pa ring nagugulat.

Mabuti naman at marunong pa ’kong sumayaw at umawit.
Tanaw ko pa rin ang lalim ng dagat at ang lawak ng langit.

Mabuti naman at buo pa’ng aking pang-unawa’t pasensya.
Laging gabay ang aking D’yos—personipikasyón ng pag-asa.

Mabuti naman at kasama pa ’ko ng mundo sa pag-inog.
Paikut-ikutin mo man ’yan, wala pa ring dulo ang bilóg.

Mabuti naman at nand’yan ka pa rin, mat’yagang naghihintay,
Patuloy na umaasa sa ating pagsasaluhang buhay.

Hangga’t Mistulang Bihag Ay

(June 2006 poem)

Another sonnet in Filipino...

Hangga’t Mistulang Bihag Ay

Nakabibingi ang sobrang katahimikan;
Nakabubulag naman ang sobrang liwanag.

Nais ko ng kaunti man lang kasiyahan
Upang di panay lumbay ang aking ’pinapahayag.

Nalagpasan ko na ang sobrang kadiliman.
Di ko na kaylangan ang inyong pagkahabag.

Malayo man ang magulang na tatakbuhan,
Dinig pa rin nila ang aking mga tawag.

Laging hanap-hanap ang tunay kong tahanan.
Tuloy, sa bintana ay laging nakamatyag.

Di ko naman hangad ang sobrang karangyaan;
Sa konting kasaganahan ako’y panatag.

Di matatapos aking mga katanungan
Hangga’t ang aking puso ay mistulang bihag.

Oda kay K’watog

(June 2006 poem)

Talbog…talbog
Ang bola, sa hagdan, ay nahulog.

Kabog…kabog
Ang kanyang puso ay nangangatog.

Busog…busog
Bukambibig n’ya napos matulog.

Bilóg…bilóg
Biluhabâ ang hugis ng itlog.

Líbog…líbog
H’wag matakot, di ka mababaog.

Dulog…dulog
Bakit lagi kang nagkukumahog?

Tulóg…tulóg
Hanggang kaylan iidlip si K’watog?

Sunday, June 11, 2006

And so we're moving to new beginnings

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June 11, 2006
Sunday

It's been months since my best-friend/former Half Life Half Death bandmate Rain Paggao (who's in the Philippines) and I thought of collaborating via the Internet to produce an album. Encouraged by friends and inspired by the band The Postal Service, whose members--Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie and Jimmy Tamborello of Dntel and Figurine--despite living states apart--were able to finish an album by exchanging musical files via postal mail...

Rain and I finally started our musical project.

I and Rain (seated, middle) with the rest of the original members of Half Life Half Death (Joel Reyes, bass; Jonathan Mejino, drummer; and Edmund Villafuerte, keyboards) in 1988

Rain will record most of the music in his home studio, while I lay down the vocal tracks as well as add keyboard melodies with the help of friends here in Canada who also have recording studios at their homes.

Rain and I hope soon to come up with an album of New Wave covers and new original compositions.

Rain and I, in 1991

I've also begun designing possible CD cover sleeves, another productive use of my time and creativity.

We'll prove that, despite distance, music will always have the power to draw friends together.

Our first try...
"More to Lose" by the obscure '80s New Wave band known as Seona Dancing.

Rain recorded the guitar tracks of this particular song in his home studio in the Philippines, as part of his recently finished album Girl in Mind (independent, 2006) under the moniker The Rain (with his brother, JB, doing the vocal chores).

Then, yesterday, with the help of my friend Jason Paredes, who also has a home recording studio here in Canada, I added various keyboard melodies as well as laid down vocal tracks. Using a recording software, with Jason's assistance, I rendered a draft mix of a 'Classical version' of "More to Lose." Click this to hear it.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Moving forward, using all my breath

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June 6, 2006
Tuesday

Today is a very blessed day for me. And I'm sharing my joy to my family and all my friends. My auntie in British Columbia called to inform me that my open-work permit has finally arrived. This means that I'm eligible now to work in any job. I'm no longer limited to being a caregiver. However, my permanent-resident application is still pending, until my medical is finally cleared. What's more important is that I can now start applying for jobs. I have so many plans but before I get overwhelmed by these, I should keep my focus and take little steps one at a time.

I should now make copies of my resume and start inquiring about enrolling for a refresher's course in Nursing. Yes, I plan to work and study at the same time.

My stint as a contributor to The Filipino Journal stays.

...
Early morning I went to the house of Emong Payaso, and we continued our "Karnabal" recording project.

...
After feeding Grandfather his lunch, I went to Northgate Shopping Centre--a bus away from the hospital--and checked out the movies showing. I watched She's the Man. Nice movie. Since it's a Tuesday afternoon and the theater was not popular, no much people were there. In fact, I was literally the only one inside the moviehouse. Yeah, I was! But it didn't surprise me anymore, for it was already my second time to watch a movie alone--alone, as in I was the only soul in the dark.

...
At my age, I'm still experiencing many "firsts." This is indeed the price of having to begin a new life in another country. This, however, keeps me alert and enthusiastic about anticipated and unexpected things, but of course it also has its drawbacks--which is, I should always be ready for inevitable disappointments. Life is indeed full of surprises. We will never know all the time. All we can really do is plan, prioritize, and process...and pray for favorable results.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Mga Munting Berso ni Emong Payaso

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June 6, 2006
Monday

My Muses are back! And I'm glad. I'm poetically prolific once again. I'm back to writing at least a few verses a day, especially that, when I'm at the hospital to feed and look after Grandfather, I've nothing else to do aside from studying, reading, and listening to music.

Furthermore, since that I don't need to be at the hospital until 12, in time for Grandfather's lunch, I can devote the whole morning to my musical project. So, I and my musical collaborator Emong Payaso decided to resume Project "Karnabal." We would be having a recording session at least thrice a week until we finish our 3-song EP The Woes of Emong Payaso. So far, the developments are promising.

...
For the meantime, here are some of my latest verses. Each of the poems, called waluwalo, below consists of three eight-syllable lines (8-8-8) and follows the rhyme pattern a, b, a.

Mga Munting Berso ni Emong Payaso
(May 2006 poems)

{to my elementary and highschool batchmates, '84/'88}

Bakit di ko maalala
Na kay Antoinette Potian
Ako minsan ay humanga?

Ba't di ko makalimutan
Si Mary Grace Abratique?
Daming napagkuk’wentuhan.

Kaibigang Rommel Rufon,
Ang sarap alalahanin,
Para lang itong kahapon.

S’ya ay hinangaan
Dahil sa angking talino—
Sheila Gonzales ang ngalan.

Klasmeyt kong si Ronald Inciong—
Bihasa sa
mathematics
.
S’ya ngayon ay nasa Hong Kong.

Grabe, di ko akalain
Na hilig n’ya rin ang
Gothic

Klasmeyt kong si Victor Berdin.

Jon, ako, Rommel, at Paolo—
Ang utak ng
JARP
nung hayskul.
Sa wakas, muling nabuo!

S’ya ay matalino pa rin,
Maliit pa rin, ma-chika—
’yan si Abigail Capitin.

Klasmeyt kong si Jeffrey Murao
Ay likas na matulungin,
Kaya malaki’ng pagtanaw.

Noo’y aking inasar si
Mari-Len Reyes, nung hayskul.
Ngayon ako’y nagsosori.

Uy, nakatutuwa naman—
Si Manny d. at Gaile Ibe,
May namumuong samahan.

Matapos ang pagninilay,
Tanda na kita, Nerichel.
Ganyan talaga ang buhay.

Riza, ilang b’wan na lang ba
Ang ’yong pinakahihintay?
Malápit na ang biyaya.

’sa ring henyo sa musika—
Kaeskwelang Romel Bayas.
Tayo’y lilikha ng kanta.

Si Jeffrey M. at Joyce G.,
Sa
airlines
nagkakilala.
Puso nila’y pinagtagpi.

Uy, Thanie, mabuti naman
Naisipan mong “lumabas.”
Mahalaga’ng kalayaan.

Dennis, hamo, malapit na…
Malapit ka nang maging nars.
Malaki ang ’yong pag-asa.

’tindi ng pinagsamahan
Namin n’yang si Pet—malupet!
Sa tag-araw at tag-ulan.

’tagal ko nang hanap-hanap
Sina Ariel, Tinoi, at Luke.
Sa’n sila mahahagilap?

Christiane, sana matuloy ka
Sa 'yong pagpunta sa New York,
Nang si Paolo ay makita.

Mark Laurel, magparamdam ka.
May kontak pa ba kayo ng
Pinsan kong Alvin Napiza?

Arvin, tandang-tanda ko pa
Nung sinapak mo si Allan.
Ano ba'ng naging problema?

Lizabeth,
happy birthday
sa
Iyong mahal na chikiting.
Ilang taon na nga ba s'ya?

Mylene Fajardo, gulat ka,
Tanda ko pa ang nunal mo?
Lalo ka pa ngang gumanda.

Sa mga di ko nabanggit,
H'wag sana kayong magtampo.
Hanyo’t ’ko’y tutula ulit.

Friday, June 02, 2006

haLf man haLf eLf at Tugtugan 2006

..
I had a great time performing as haLf man haLf eLf at Tugtugan 2006, held at Pampanga Restaurant (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada) last Saturday, May 27. Thanks to my musician friends who backed me up and shared my passion for New Wave music: Roy Gutierrez on guitars, Abet on bass, and Joshua Bernardo on drums. I also played keyboards.

We were third in line among the 11 bands that graced the event, performing five songs: "Just like Heaven" (The Cure), "I Melt with You" (Modern English), "More to Lose" (Seona Dancing), "Enjoy the Silence" (Depeche Mode), and an original song I wrote in 1999, "For Her Brilliance."

Here are some pictures, courtesy of my friend Jason Paredes, who with his band FourSight also delivered an electrifying set including covers from the Filipino Alternative Rock bands Siakol ("Sa Kabilang Mundo"), Slapshock ("Agent Orange"), and Advent Call ("Memories").


Video clips and more pictures next time.