Two Days and Not Counting Anymore

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January 12, 2012

Thursday

It's 9:50 p.m. I just finished writing and editing a few more articles. I also did my regular Facebook surfing to check out friends and posted ideas that I could hammer.

Two more days and we'll be boarding the airplane--Inna, Evawwen, and I with our friend, my band haLf man haLf eLf's violinist Christine Mazur. We're finally going to the Philippines!

Inna and I are yet to pack our three boxes. Nothing much--just our clothes and some goodies for my family in the Philippines.

The Winter in Winnipeg is finally catching up. The past days were less cold--atypical--considering that November should have been very cold already. Today is the coldest so far. According to the weather reports, the days would now become more and more cold. Winter has finally arrived! It doesn't matter to me now, anyway; for we are leaving Winnipeg on Saturday already--for a month's stay in the Philippines. I hope that when we come back, Winter's peak would have subsided already.

My homecoming--the first time after I left the Philippines in 2003--is a mix of joy, excitement, nervousness, and anxiousness (both sense of the word). I'm very happy because I could finally hug my parents and my sisters and their children again. In the same manner, that they could now hug Evawwen personally for the first time. I'm excited because of the forthcoming shows and grand reunion concert of my former band Half Life Half Death. If the countless friends, relatives, acquaintances, supporters, and fellow musicians would be true to their words--that they would attend the Feburary 3, 2012, grand reunion concert of Half Life Half Death at Club Phi at Metrowalk, in Pasig City, in the Philippines, then the concert would be a blast! I hope most of those who said would come will really come.

I'm nervous because, having been away for almost a decade, I'm sure that I would be experiencing an adjustment period--not only because of the weather but also because of the present state of things there. I'm sure that trends have evolved, streets will have narrowed to my point of view, and even crossing the busy streets would be a feat for me.

Also, I'm anxious about our concert. I knew that the expectations are high from people who are awaiting the return of Half Life Half Death. I just hope that the whole band will really be able to nail the performance. Well, considering the skills and talents of my bandmates, I'm counting on them.

Another thing that I'm looking forward to is the countless activities that I wanted to do in the Philippines, and most especially the countless people that I wanted to meet--friends, families, relatives, former classmates, former coworkers, and fellow artists.

I want to document my every move in photographs and in words. For, surely, I will be returning to Canada after a month full of new stories and experiences to share and tell through my writings. So I have to be focused and attentive all the time--so I can capture with my mind and pen all these worthy stories which I'm sure I would be treasuring in the future. Not only for me, but more so for my son Evawwen.

Every memory I have and every story I tell, I know that I can share with my son when he grows up. The way I can still vividly remember to this day many of the stories and experiences my Father had told and shared with me when I was a child.

"Written words," indeed, "are worth a thousand pieces of gold." (Adeline Yen Mah)

Time Is Constant; It's the Circumstance that Gives the Illusion of Its Fastness or Slowness

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Time flies fast, as they say, but this is just an after-the-fact reaction to the past. For me, time is constant--I cherish every moment of it. What makes it feel slow or fast are the circumstances an individual finds himself in--if the events are exciting and activity-filled, then time feels fast; when nothing much interesting is happening, then it feels slow.

One week, and we--my family and I--go to the Philippines. Is the Time moving slow?--no--but because of the anticipation for it--the seven-day period that is still to unfold seems slow. And then, for sure, on Saturday, on the day of our flight, Time would seem to have passed by quickly. That's after the fact.

Time is constant. I'm always in touch with reality. I don't allow emotions cloud my analytical thinking. As much as possible, I use logic and reason to guide my life and decisions.

The Return of the Pan

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It's January 1, 2012! The advent of yet another new year. As far as my life is concerned, it had so many ups--and fortunately, no alarming downs.

I am an atheist--therefore, every time I need to express my gratefulness and happiness for all the good things that have come and continue to come my way, I attribute this to common sense, logic, reason, and good and hard work; add to these, support and assistance from other people--from loved ones, friends, and even acquaintances--and not to that unseen being many people call the God.

As of the moment, I had not been excited about Christmas nor the New Year--simply because my regard for these cultural and social events is being overshadowed by my excitement for my forthcoming return to my original home country, the Philippines, on January 15, 2012. And I will be coming home with my family--Charina, Marina, Jannica, Gabby, and Evawwen--and Christine Mazur, the violin/cello player in my band here in Canada, haLf man haLf eLf.

My former band in the Philippines, Half Life Half Death, is slated to perform a reunion concert on February 3, 2012, at Club Phi at Metrowalk, in Pasig City. The show is being produced by Requiem Rising and Lilystar Records. Requiem Rising is the same outfit that staged the reunion concert of Identity Crisis last September. Identity Crisis is one of the pioneering bands in the Philippine New Wave scene--active especially in the period 1986-1989 Lilystar Records is the independent music label owned by Clementine Castro, the bandleader of the Indie Pop band The Camerawalls--one of the featuring bands at our reunion concert entitled "The Evolution of NewWave"; the other supporting acts being The Gentle Isolation and Your Imaginary Friends. The concert party will feature not only the said New Wave bands but also DJs from the NewWave mobile Mode Zero as well as participation from the WXB102 family.

There is so much to talk about this forthcoming return of mine to the Philippines--so many activities lined up, so many important people to meet, so many stories to weave once again.

Above all, I'm excited to see my parents and sisters and their children, especially that this will be my first time to see them--see the Philippines--after I left for Canada in August 2003. That was 8 years and 5 months! Almost a decade.

It's been a while since I wrote regularly on this blogspot of mine. I now decide to write again regularly--every day if I can--especially to document my adventures in the Philippines which will start in two weeks.

"My mind is a cup;
Knowledge is soup;

With spoons I'm sharing what I learn."

--The Haiku of Never Ending Learning"--aLfie vera mella

Six years ago, half a year again has passed

June 12, 2010
Saturday

Half-amazing that, looking back to the first time I wrote an entry on this blogspot of mine, six years has passed. Half-amazing only because, considering the seemingly fast passage of time, I still feel that time simply passed the usual course. I mean, after all the experiences I had--as documented in details and full glory on this blogspot--I wouldn't say that I didn't feel impatience.

I'm just savoring each moment, each opportunity, each fruit of success, and continuous challenges.

Many people I know get amazed at how I could remember so many things, moments in my life--from the early '70s through the decades that followed. I could even vividly retell some moments when I was only 4 years old.

Even I am half-amazed--only half because I know that I'm capable of this simply because I always look back. More than that, I always write down events--and all these help me remember.

On days when I'm not too busy with hospital work, writing, performing, spending time with my family, I re-read the entries on this blogspot. And it makes me smile at the amount of materials that I was able to document during my first three years of living in Canada. As a friend of mine said, I didn't need a psychoanalyst to assess myself because, through my ponderous writings, I was able to look within and into as well as from outside the box, so to speak.

While reading my blog entries, since day one, I realized that everything is worth publishing as a book. Regardless if I have defied many expressions and statements and declarations I made during my early years in Canada--which include love and other feelings. But, what can I do--I'm just acting like any ordinary human being--idealistic yet inconsistent at times, wise yet foolish, humane but giving in to my animal nature once in a while? After all, what is human but the highest form of an animal?

Yes, I believe that humans are animals. Only when humans finally descale themselves of their animal nature can they consider themselves not animals. Until then, a human is just another animal.

A former follower of this blogspot asked me if I am resuming my blogging; I said, yes, but not as regularly as before...simply because my circumstance changed. I have so many activities going on since the day Grandfather died. And I'm continuously juggling everything--though in delight.

Am I publishing the first three years' worth of entries from this blogspot of mine? Yes. I've decided to pursue this. Unedited. Anyway, everything documented here has been open to the public, so why "sanitize" anything? Besides, everything that I have expressed here is the truth during the moment I wrote it. Like when I said to someone I loved her or I hated him, that was what I was feeling during the moment I was expressing it. If my feelings have changed, that's only a natural course in my continuously evolving psyche.

So many things change. As well, so many things remain the same. Nothing's edited--except perhaps for grammar and the correctness of factual information.

I continue to indite whatever I have in my mind; therefore, I remain eLf.

Luck is coincidence. Good luck is opportunity taken. Bad luck is either coincidence or bad choice. Success is hard work.

I remain the captain of my mind and the master of my fate.

I am the father of Evawwen.

haLf man haLf eLf at "Rock against Ignorance"

My band haLf man haLf eLf at the music/art show "Rock against Ignorance," held on February 19, 2010, at West End Cultural Centre, in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada