The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Six years ago, half a year again has passed

June 12, 2010

Half-amazing that, looking back to the first time I wrote an entry on this blogspot of mine, six years has passed. Half-amazing only because, considering the seemingly fast passage of time, I still feel that time simply passed the usual course. I mean, after all the experiences I had--as documented in details and full glory on this blogspot--I wouldn't say that I didn't feel impatience.

I'm just savoring each moment, each opportunity, each fruit of success, and continuous challenges.

Many people I know get amazed at how I could remember so many things, moments in my life--from the early '70s through the decades that followed. I could even vividly retell some moments when I was only 4 years old.

Even I am half-amazed--only half because I know that I'm capable of this simply because I always look back. More than that, I always write down events--and all these help me remember.

On days when I'm not too busy with hospital work, writing, performing, spending time with my family, I re-read the entries on this blogspot. And it makes me smile at the amount of materials that I was able to document during my first three years of living in Canada. As a friend of mine said, I didn't need a psychoanalyst to assess myself because, through my ponderous writings, I was able to look within and into as well as from outside the box, so to speak.

While reading my blog entries, since day one, I realized that everything is worth publishing as a book. Regardless if I have defied many expressions and statements and declarations I made during my early years in Canada--which include love and other feelings. But, what can I do--I'm just acting like any ordinary human being--idealistic yet inconsistent at times, wise yet foolish, humane but giving in to my animal nature once in a while? After all, what is human but the highest form of an animal?

Yes, I believe that humans are animals. Only when humans finally descale themselves of their animal nature can they consider themselves not animals. Until then, a human is just another animal.

A former follower of this blogspot asked me if I am resuming my blogging; I said, yes, but not as regularly as before...simply because my circumstance changed. I have so many activities going on since the day Grandfather died. And I'm continuously juggling everything--though in delight.

Am I publishing the first three years' worth of entries from this blogspot of mine? Yes. I've decided to pursue this. Unedited. Anyway, everything documented here has been open to the public, so why "sanitize" anything? Besides, everything that I have expressed here is the truth during the moment I wrote it. Like when I said to someone I loved her or I hated him, that was what I was feeling during the moment I was expressing it. If my feelings have changed, that's only a natural course in my continuously evolving psyche.

So many things change. As well, so many things remain the same. Nothing's edited--except perhaps for grammar and the correctness of factual information.

I continue to indite whatever I have in my mind; therefore, I remain eLf.

Luck is coincidence. Good luck is opportunity taken. Bad luck is either coincidence or bad choice. Success is hard work.

I remain the captain of my mind and the master of my fate.

I am the father of Evawwen.