The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Friday, September 22, 2006

Keep the flame burning

September 22, 2006

I guess this is a good sign--that no matter if my coworkers would warn me beforehand that the ward to which I'm assigned is tough and heavy, I would feel otherwise. I no longer feel nervous and inconfident about working as a healthcare aide. I'm finally dancing into the groove (Pardon the Madonna allusion).

No longer clueless...
From washing the residents, changing diapers, giving baths, changing their clothes, transferring them from beds to wheelchairs, to feeding them and putting them back to bed in the evening--I can do these all without feeling clueless and stupid.

Experience is really the mother of all learning.

Also, before I began working, I had a bit of an inferiority complex--afraid that my coworkers (especially the Caucasians and those who have had their education here in Canada) would swallow me whole, so to speak. But, I found out that I am able to work at par with many of them. In fact, I still couldn't believe when some coworkers would commend me for being hardworking and friendly and smart-looking. I hope they're right after all. You see, I always have this self-doubt. Perhaps the perfectionist in me is always at fault. No matter how much I give my best, I always feel that I'm still lacking skills.

But still doubtful once in a while...
Just like in my writing talent. Until now, after having worked as an editor/writer of academic textbooks and magazines for many years, I would still question and doubt my writing ability. Not even if the chief editor of The Filipino Journal used to tell me how good I am at what I do.

Oh well, breaktime is over once again. It's 2:00 p.m. Time to go back to my wing. I'll be off at 3:45 p.m.

Keep the flame in me burning...
By the way, the message posted by Miss Fredda on the comments section inspired me a lot--about how significant my erstwhile band Half Life Half Death had been in the '90s Filipino Alternative Rock Music scene. Thank you very much. You keep the flame in me kindling. I'll wave the torch of music till the day that I die. Don't worry, I'll re-upload some of Half Life Half Death's song, perhaps on MySpace. Just check my blog site from time to time. Keep on believing that music changes lives, preferably for the better.

More day-to-day stories to tell later.

Be back soon.


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