Inbetween (Hey)days

December 25, 2005
Sunday

Last night, we spent Christmas Eve at the house of the family of Tito Badong's brother Ruel. I enjoy family reunions like that; it reminds me of the family reunions (on my side of the family) that I used to attend in my youth. I love witnessing the joy children exude as they wait for the opening of the gifts.

Most of the time I just ate there and listened to the chats. I also sang several songs on the videoke. I never thought that I'd be singing songs (discounting when I'm by myself) by the likes of Basil Valdez, Lionel Ritchie, and Ogie Alcasid.

Aside from the smiles I managed to curve while watching Santa Lorraine (Ruel's wife dressed as Santa Claus) distribute the gifts, nothing much made me excited. I still miss home--the Philippines. I miss Mom, Dad, my sisters, nephews, niece, and friends. I miss Charlotte. I miss the Christmas moments when all I did was lie there on the couch and listen to music while watching the children play with their new toys.

Oh how I wish I can be able to spend next Christmas in the Philippines; but at the rate of my advancement here in Canada, I'm afraid I still couldn't. But by hook or by crook, I will return home in 2007.

Around midday, we attended mass at St. Francis Xavier Church. We then had lunch at Tremendous Chinese Restaurant. The food was great! I ate mostly siomai.

Back at the house, I helped Lola Flor in the kitchen.

Tito George (Lola Flor's youngest son) and his family--Tita Agnes and their children, Aaron and Grace--paid us a visit. He told me again that, in case I needed to go somewhere to meet my friends, he'd be free to drive me around. He wouldn't be back at work until January 3.

All of them were fond of Grandfather. I could see the gladness in his eyes and smiles. Lola Flor, in particular, kept on uttering that she cared so much for his brother especially that, among their brood, she and Grandfather are the closest with each other.

Tomorrow morning we would be going to Niagara; we'd be staying overnight at a hotel. At last, I'd be actually seeing the much talked-about Niagara Falls. I've already prepared a handful of pennies. ' gotta make a number of wishes.

The human heart is really unstable. Yesterday I wrote some rants which would surely come across as hurtful to some people close to me. But now, I feel guilty for having written such outpouring. In fact, I was thinking of deleting the said blog entry, or at least editing portions of it; but what for? I finally decided to leave it that way. All human beings are like that anyway...

resentful yesterday, pitiful today
envious a while ago, generous all of a sudden
open-minded, blinded once in a while
happy now, lonely later
feeling smart...
yet...
...not excused from doing dumb and stupid things.

At the end of it all, I thank my deities for gifting me the ability to analyze my own psyche. That way, I would no longer be needing the help of a shrink. That way, I can be sure that insanity is yet to knock on my door.

Yesterday I got so old I felt like I could die...
Yesterday I got so old it made me want to cry...