"When Is Sex [Mutually] Good?"

... .. . This is the first sign language depicting sex that I learned as a child. To this day, I still wonder why many people find sex disgusting, funny, or taboo. But strangely enough, many of such people fondly teach to children sexual gestures like the one in the picture as a form of amusement on their part, reducing the serious concept of sex to an unsavory humor. This is a vicious cycle which I will no longer pass to my children. With the help of my wife, I will educate them the domain of sex in a very academic and realistic manner.

Hypocrisy aside, sex is one of, if not the most interesting topic of discussion most, if not all people engage in...whether openly or secretly. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that the human being—stripped of all logical faculties and the power of reasoning—is reduced to a carnal creature which regularly craves for sex for whatever reason, but mostly for gratification. (The Freud in me.)

Of course, this is highly debatable; but debate is not my purpose. I want simply to express my side of things as regards how couples achieve ultimate mutual pleasure (or displeasure, for that matter) in having sex.

The catalyst of this article is my friend Jennie's blog entry entitled "When Is Sex Good?"

So many opinions will expectedly be raised by many people—certainly diverse and polar thoughts. And, each of these opinions should be noteworthy, chiefly because everything will inevitably depend on the opinion-maker's upbringing, experiences, and knowledge as well as on countless other factors.

We cannot expect to hear the same opinion about sex from a priest, a sex therapist, and an adult-movie actor.
Don't expect to receive the same answer from someone who had been abused or raped as a child and from someone whose first sexual encounter was with someone she deeply loved.

I wouldn't even expect someone who is unfamiliar with the Kama Sutra or clueless about sex toys to agree with my opinions.

Bottomline: "When is sex good?" is an open-ended question. There is no definite answer. No one can ever formulate the single ultimate, best answer. For if there's such a prescription, then the question should have not been asked after all. I mean, if there's really a single way in achieving good, if not perfect sex, then there would be no therapists, no philanderers, no polygamists, no grouchy people...all everyone needs to do is simply follow that absolute rule. But, again, there are no rules...only opinions and guidelines which are all worthy of consideration.

I now offer my opinion, based on my own knowledge about sex—theoretical and empirical:

My idea of a great, if not perfect, mutually satisfying sex is the kind which combines love and lust in virtually equal degrees—meaning, both partners should be, in the first place, madly in love with each other as well as salivatingly lustful to have sex with each other.

Call it what you may—"sex," "fucking," "intercourse," "coitus," "lovemaking," "baby making," "pleasurable sharing of bodily fluids"—talk about semantics...most of these are just euphemisms—either politically correct or incorrect, it doesn't matter; for in the end, the equal yearning for each other and the seemingly insatiable itch to fuck and be fucked is what makes sex a blast!

In a nutshell, sex becomes a blast when
1. Love and lust emanating from both partners are present in virtually equal degrees
2. Both partners are madly in love with each other in the same degree they are lustful to have sex with each other
3. There's an equal yearning for each other and a seemingly insatiable itch to fuck and be fucked
4. Both partners are, during the session, willing participants (meaning, both should be in the mood for sex)
5. Both are willing to experiment: positions, accessories, places, dirty talk... (in this case, sex books such as the Kama Sutra is a prerequisite)
6. Both are physically and emotionally relaxed during the session (Don't expect a good sex between a couple during a moment when either is stressed out or exhausted or has just come from a tiring day. No amount of lust and passion can result in a satisfying session when the body is weak and too tired to respond to the stimulus.)

When is sex mutually good?

Sex is mutually good when love and lust burn within both partners during the encounter.