The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Monday, October 17, 2005

"For in that sleep of death,

what dreams may come."—William Shakespeare, Hamlet

I woke up this morning exhausted and light-headed, gasping and sweating. I think, more than a minute had passed before I even realized that I was already awake.

I suddenly remembered the dream I had:

I was marooned on an island full of flowers and trees. I was naked. Fortunately, the weather was warm. I felt hungry so I went looking for food. I initially thought of catching a fowl—barbecue in mind—but I realized that I had no lighter nor matches and that I didn't know how to make fire out of two pieces of rock. Therefore, I decided to look for trees which bore some fruits.

Alas! The island was lush with trees yet no single fruit I could find. My restlessness brought me to the heart of the forest, where I stumbled upon a giant tree that sparkled literally. Surveying the branches, I saw bunches and bunches of different-colored fruits. My stomach began to grumble; my mouth started to salivate. My hunger grew more intense.

I realized that there was only one way to get to those fruits—that was, to climb the tree. However, the trunk of the tree had suddenly become taller than I thought. Besides, the sparkling things on its barks, I realized, were pieces of broken glass. So, there was no way for me to climb the tall tree to get to where the fruits were without getting myself hurt.

I couldn't do anything but cry like a newborn baby, there at the foot of the tree; and this went on for hours until I ran out of tears.

My hunger was killing me.

I sat there and stared at the luscious fruits, wishing that they fell on me. They didn't. I felt dizzy and light-headed, perhaps because of the hunger that was continuously revolting inside me.

And then—as if trapped between the states of fantasy and reality—I began to curse the tree and everything around me. After what seemed eternity, I regressed into infancy! I wanted to speak my mind, but my lips couldn't utter any word. The words in my mind were outracing one another towards my mouth, but my sudden inability to speak had naturally blocked them. I felt like a mad, mad man trapped inside the naked body of a helpless infant.

I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth, until visions of birds began to brighten in my head.

Until, I wished that I became a bird so I could fly and reach the top of the giant tree where the elusive fruits were.

I wished as hard as a child would.

To my amazement, I felt that something weird was happening. Something was growing on my back!

I was growing wings!

Yes, a pair of little bird wings started to grow on my back.

And, as if the the wings had a mind of their own, they started to flap. I began to fly...slowly, until I realized I was gradually reaching the top of the tree.

I was about to extend my arms to grab a bunch of those luscious, different-colored fruits when, suddenly, my wings ceased to flap. No matter how hard I tried to control them, they just wouldn't move. I was out of breath. I was perspiring all over. I felt like my whole body had lost its remaining energy.

When I looked down, only then did I realize that I was so high up in the air; that falling from there back to the ground wherefrom I came would spell death or, at least, broken head and bones.

Fall I did! In a seeming slow motion. I swear, I felt I had seen my last seconds before death. I felt like my head was bursting because of panic and fear.

I was shouting, not for help but because of anger. I was cursing the tree. I was cursing the wings. I was cursing everything around me. I was cursing myself for my sudden disability.

The scene was very lucid, very vivid.

Seconds before my face smashed on the stony ground, I got awakened.

I was exhausted and light-headed, gasping and sweating. I could almost taste Death.

The vision of that tree was still vivid and lucid in my mind, as well as the stony ground on which I would have smashed my head.

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I simply ran out of tears.

Are dreams really an expression of repressed emotions?


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 6:08:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's suppose to be a catharsis to something that the future holds.....

    skyray is love,

  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:14:00 AM, Blogger Jennie said…

    They say it's also a way your unconscious interprets your present situation. I guess the only person who would know the true meaning of your dream is yourself.

    Very interesting indeed...

  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 9:06:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my poor baby...buti nagising ka. naalala mo ng buo yung panaginip mo? i usually dont remember much of my dreams/nightmares..especially when they dont make sense. you've read feeude's "the interpretation of dreams", ryt?

    ...........i better email you what i think. i love you,hon.


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:36:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    sorry ginising kita, hon. i feel a lot better now. hang-on, my know grief can cause the death of your kind..cheer-up a bit, ok?

    pls tell ivan i said thanks.


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 2:18:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    Yeah, something like, a preview of what to come...perhaps based mainly on how we expect or anticipate them.


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 2:22:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    I supposed. Yeah, I just analyzed the dream. You're right. Most likely, it's simply a symbolic reflection of my current situation.

    I'm beginning to get fascinated again with dreams.


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 2:24:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    Yup, I have the Dover thrift edition of Freud's 'Interpretations of Dreams.' I have to re-read it one of these days. My dreams during the past nights were very detailed and full of symbolisms.

    Thanks for that morning call. You made my otherwise boring day.



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