The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Saturday, February 02, 2013

My Set of Teeth Is Ugly

(On the Hypocrisy and Dishonesty in Claiming that Everyone Is Physically Beautiful)
by aLfie vera mella

Concerning beauty-ugliness, I don't totally agree that beauty (or ugliness, for that matter) always depends on the eye of the beholder.

Spreading the physical appearance (say, facial)  of humans on a spectrum of ugly through beautiful, those that are around the middle are what are subject to the subjective eye of the so-called beholder. However, those that fall on the extreme left (ugly) and on the extreme right (beautiful) are not difficult to determine.

The hypocrisy and the problem lie on this issue:

Is being physically ugly automatically negative or repulsive?

If not, then what's stopping many people from describing someone ugly in a plain sense, without ridicule?

For instance, I am ugly. What's wrong with that? If someone describes my face as ugly plainly--there's nothing really wrong about it. The person is merely describing honestly what he is observing. What would be wrong is if that person considers my ugly face as disgusting, repulsive, and he begins to taunt, ridicule, or tease me about that.

The hypocrisy is this, even though some people know that another person is ugly, they will still say that that other person is beautiful. Isn't this hypocritical and dishonest? Let's do the reverse: When there is a beautiful-looking person with a nasty behavior, doesn't that person remain physically beautiful but only behaviorally ugly? Many people don't have the ability to separate intrinsic from extrinsic characteristics. For instance, that beautiful-looking person who has a bad behavior, to me, remains a beautiful person if I have to describe her extrinsically; only her behavior is ugly. But to some people, their hatred or disgust for the bad behavior of the person clouds their ability to see the physical beauty of that person.

I think the ultimate challenge in this issue is, how to develop the ability to describe ugliness without a feeling of disgust or repulsiveness; how to distinguish extrinsic from intrinsic characteristics; and how to express such honest descriptions plainly without getting affected by one's emotions.

On the other hand, how to realize that physical ugliness is not always disgusting and repulsive.

==

Intrinsic beauty--the kindness, the generosity, the compassion--is an altogether different issue.

What I am really pointing out is the extrinsic or visually observable  appearance of beauty or ugliness.

To say that everyone is physically beautiful is one of the most dishonest expressions in the world. Many people will cover up physical ugliness with praises of beauty.

Why?

Because they always think that physical ugliness is automatically disgusting and repulsive--which should not be the case.

If someone tells me that I have an ugly set of teeth, for instance, that person is simply describing plainly what is really physically observable. But the moment he teases me, ridicules me, or taunts me for that, then that's when the issue becomes unacceptable.

4 Comments:

  • At Saturday, February 02, 2013 7:01:00 PM, Anonymous rainbow said…

    Yes..You woke up one morning and suddenly you realized that your youth is gone..

    Times when you were still fresh with utmost discipline not to eat too much to maintain a certain curve. Only for a period of time that you get thin then became fat and thin again to fat again and then thin.

    But what is my point? Is being fat ugly? Well, first and foremost it is impolite for someone to say in any circumstances that she is fat after a long period of time that you have been apart,because we never know how much effort and spends so much time in the gym or even hungered herself to loose pounds just not to be demeaned?

    Lets reverse ..

    What if someone greets with a welcoming on how thin we become now and asked : Is that the result of south beach diet or cause of Type 2 diabetes, or worst, have you been to hunger strike??

    Social ettiquettes must be mastered on how are we going to carry a conversation.

    Except this instance that I encountered with this lady in the gym who gave me an insulting look from head to toe, i waited till i say read my lips : Ang pangit moo!

    better be honest at times when you really really need it..

     
  • At Saturday, February 02, 2013 8:55:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    Rainbow,

    I just want to let you know that I never fail to read your comments on my blog articles. I appreciate very much your taking the time to spend reading my views.

    To be honest, even I am still in a dilemma about ugliness. I mean, it seems that calling someone or something ugly is against social etiquette. However, many people do that when they are in a surge of negative emotion such as anger or when they are in a retaliatory mode in case somebody insulted him.

    The challenge that I am posting out there is the idea that ugliness per se (in a physical sense) is not a bad thing. It becomes a negativity only when we start to attach degrading feelings with it.

    Tulad ng halimbawa ko: Pangit kasi talaga ang ngipin ko--may mga bungi sa bagang na hindi ko pa naipapaayos. Ngayon, kung may magsabi sa akin na, Uy aLfie, yung ngipin mo e pangit kasi may bungi. Sa tingin ko e hindi masama ang ginawa ng tao na 'yun, kasi all he did was describe plainly what he has observed.

    Ngayon kung gagawin niya itong katatawanan o itsitsismis nya ako na, "Uy, alam n'yo ba, si aLfie e ang pangit-pangit ng ngipin. May mga bungi."

    Dyan pa lang magiging malisyoso ang kanyang tinuran, kasi kinabitan na niya ng malisyosong pang-iinsulto ang ngipin ko.

    Pero, again, pangit naman kasi talaga ang ngipin ko. napaka-ipokrito naman at sinungaling o nambobola lang ang sinumang magsabi na, "aLfie, ang ganda ng ngipin mo" dahil hindi naman talaga totoo.

    Bottomline is, ugliness is really a delicate issue. It's hard to express it without hurting others.

    Malamang kaya ko nasasabi ang mga bagay na ito e dahil, matagal ko nang tanggap ang kagandahan ko pati na rin ang mga kapangitan ko. Alam ko na hindi ako perpekto--ibig sabihin, meron akong mga kagandahan--pisikal man o pangkalooban--pero meron din akong mga kapangitan--pisikal din at pangkalooban.

    Kaya kung may makapupuna ng mga iyan ay okey lang sa akin; basta ba wag lang nilang gagawin pang-insulto o pantukso ang mga kapangitang iyan.

    Ngayon, depende naman sa ugliness. Merong mga ugly characteristics na dapat at maaaring i-correct at meron namang hindi na dapat.

    Halimbawa, yung pangit ko na ngipin e pwede ko namang i-correct ang mga ito--kelangan ko nga lang gastusan ng pera at di pa ako handa dahil napakamahal. Pag-uwi ko na ulit sa Pilipinas. Di naman nakakaapekto ng function ng bibig ko.

    Sa tingin ko ang mga physically ugly na characteristics na hindi naman nakakaapekto sa physical o biological functionality ng tao e okey lang na hayaan na lang ganyan. Kaya nga sa insurance e hindi kasama ang cosmetic surgery--dahil sa paniniwalang medikal na hindi na nararapat talagang itama ang ugly features na yan dahil di naman naaapektuhan ang functionality. Halimbawa e nakakalbo na ang isang tao kahit bata pa. Para sa akin e pwede kong sabihin na pangit ang tubo ng buhok niya. Tapos. Hanggan doon lang. Hindi ko dapat na tuksuhin o pagtawanan.

    Ibig sabihin e I just described the reality that the hair of that person is ugly. That's all.

    Nasa kanya na yun kung ipapaayos niya. Pero cosmetic surgery ang category nito kasi di naman nakakaapekto sa physical function ng ulo niya.

    Sa tingin ko e kaya tuloy masyadong nagiging conscious ang maraming tao sa physical appearance nila e kasi nga ang iniisip nila e kapag ugly e dapat baguhin.

    Mahirap gawin, pero dapat e matutunan ng isang tao na matanggap kung mga pangit siyang characteristic na pisikal, at isipin na walang masama ryan...pero di rin naman dapat na pagtakpan ito sa pamamagitan ng pagpipilit na...hindi maganda tubo ng buhok ko, e hindi naman talaga.

     
  • At Thursday, February 07, 2013 8:46:00 PM, Anonymous daydreamer said…

    People (including me) really need to learn a lot of things in life. Some people should learn how to accept things and not to be so sensitive. If you are sensitive, I think it's okay. Just don't let this sensitivity make you strike back on people who are rather outspoken (I also see nothing wrong with it). On the other side, people also need to learn how to be polite. There are ways on how to say things politely. Like instead of saying "your hair is ugly", I will say "I think you'll look better if you style it this way". It's sometimes confusing to decipher really what it right and what is wrong but sometimes, you can close your eyes and ask your conscience. As Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio said "Let your conscience be your guide". Try it and you'll feel it. It's hard though sometimes to follow it (I myself ignore it and give justification to whichever path I prefer instead).
    This blog site really has a lot of intelligent views. I love reading it. Most of the time, I just read and keep my silence because I'm always confused. But this makes me think about things. Thanks.

     
  • At Friday, March 15, 2013 2:54:00 PM, Blogger Nannie Livingstone said…

    Beauty, I think, is subjective; as they say, it’s in the eye of the beholder. What may be beautiful for me may not be beautiful for other people, and vice versa. If I tell you that I personally find crooked teeth to be cute, then you might disagree with me, but my opinion won’t change to match that of someone else. If someone with crooked teeth wants to fix them, it’s always their prerogative to do so, and that should not be influenced by what other people think.

    Nannie Livingstone

     

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