Do I need to explain myself?

April 18, 2008 (Friday)
.
Almost two years have passed since I was last active with blogging on this blogspot of mine. There also came a time when I had to lend my literary pen to a loyal follower of mine just to let him continue documenting bits of my adventures and misadventures.

Yeah, I've been busy with work and with other important activities like writing regularly for a Canadian newspaper. But I know that this is not the real reason of my having lost the prolificacy in writing here on my blog.

The real deal is, I was in the previous months still trying to rebuild my self-confidence after having broken up with someone important. I sort of put my self in exile, hoping that things would cool off. The decision that I made hurt many people, but what could I do? I realize once more that I am after all a human like everyone like you who is reading this right now. But don't get me wrong. I don't mean that I am saying that I made a wrong decision.

I just followed what my heart and mind really wanted. I just did what I know will make me happy and comfortable. Many people felt disappointed in what I did. Many were hurt. Many were surprised. Many perhaps even hated me for it. But...

Fvck it! This is my life. I will do whatever I think and feel will make me happy and better. If in a few years from now another great change in my life will occur, well, that should not come as a surprise anymore, simply because life after all is full of unexpected twists and turns.

What is most important in the end is, I stand by whatever decision in life I make. And in making these decisions, the person best benefited is myself.

Selfish?

Yes, you may say that; but who's not selfish anyway?

Even the most generous person in the world is selfish if you will think about it, simply because s/he gives so much to others primarily because s/he wants to feel good about her/himself.

Let's cut the bull. People who help help because they want other people to know that they help other people.

Therefore, am I back with blogging? Let's see.

I'm still mustering the courage to continue where I left off in this blogspot of mine. So, it's still premature to say that the eLf is back.

But however which way, I will always just be around one corner of this tangled web of Internet connections.

Oops, why am I explaining myself anyway? Oh well. What the heck. I'm just like anybody else, in the sense that we try to let people understand the whys behind the whats in our lives.