The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Is that something flickering the light at the end of this dark and narrow....

March 27, 2006

My auntie from British Columbia, who serves as the employer for my being Grandfather's live-in caregiver, called to relay a good news.

A new letter for me coming from Immigration has arrived, informing me that while they are still processing my immigration papers I could now apply for an open-work permit. This means that, after I had applied for it and had received the document, I could now work in any job I want. As of today, my eligibility to work here in Canada is limited to being a live-in caregiver. And now that Immigration has granted me the eligibility to apply for the open-work permit, I could somehow start thinking about my next steps. Usually, granting of an open-work permit takes about one month after Immigration's receipt of the application form.

The big question is, what happens now to Grandfather?

I'd no longer dwell again on this topic, for I already blogged about it a number of times.

What I'd rather like to answer is, What happens to me now?

Here're my short-term plans:

1. Next week, after procuring the necessary requirements and filling out the form, I'd submit my application via mail. The waiting process takes about a month.

2. While waiting for the new work permit, I'd begin scouting for possible jobs at nursing homes and other hospitals or institutes. In the meantime, I want to land a job as a nurse aid or healthcare aid. I'm considering a graveyard shift, so I could still look after Grandfather during the day.

3. I will be frugal with my salary, most of which I will save for the purpose of having money when I decide to move out of my relatives' house and stay in a rooming apartment.

4. Yes, as soon as I have been granted the permanent-resident status, I would no longer take care of Grandfather. I leave the responsibilities to his children here. They should "sit down" to plan and decide about their next steps for Grandfather. I don't want them to include me in that "round table" discussion.

5. I continue with my Psychology homestudy.

6. When I already have work, I'll inquire about how to upgrade my nursing skills, so I can elevate myself from being an aid.

7. My permanent-resident document might arrive not until June. This should give Grandfather's children more than enough time to plan.

8. For the meantime, I need to have some courage to be able to open up to my relatives the topic of "who's gonna take care of Papa now?" because they are not taking the initiative to talk about it.

9. I might just express my thoughts and feelings to Grandfather's eldest, who's in the United States, through e-mail. He should be the one to "gather" his siblings to discuss about what to do with their 91-year-old father when I'm finally out of the picture--their deteriorating father who now wets his pants and no longer knows what he ate or did an hour ago, who feels dizzy and complains of stomachache and chest pain virtually every day, who could no longer eat as much as a few spoonfuls, who can no longer take a bath on his own, who can no longer walk several meters without grasping for breath, who gets cranky most of the times and displaces to me his resentments and ire, who is always telling me that he feels his children no longer care for him and that he already wanted to die. And do you know WHO carries all the burden? E-mail me if you want to know the answer.

I've realized that, sometimes (or most of the times), talking about a serious matter with someone far away is far much easier than discussing it with those who are nearby. Besides, I feel that I can express myself (and present my arguments) much better through writing than through speaking.

10. I am now entertaining the idea of relocating, in the near future, to another province, perhaps Ontario or Alberta. Why not British Columbia, where Vancouver is? Oh well, the weather is fine, but, well, never mind.

I've long realized that Life is really unfair. Every time I receive a good news or a blessing, a trying circumstance inevitably accompanies it.

Life, fvck you!


  • At Tuesday, March 28, 2006 11:57:00 PM, Anonymous penoi said…

    good luck sa mga plans mo sa future....

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 12:03:00 AM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    Salamat. Sana lahat ng iniitlog ko ay maging malulusog na sisiw in the near future.

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 3:30:00 AM, Blogger pinky said…

    Wowie! Ayan, malapit ka nang makalaya bilang house elf. Good luck sa mga plans.

    At ang buhay? Hay, talagang palabiro. As in. Natatawa na nga lang ako eh dahil pinaglalaruan ako lagi ni Life. Hehe!

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 3:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    You remember the lyrics of "Out on Your Own" by TLE....soon, you will be looking up...looking up to laugh?

    Life is one big F U I know but...the best part is....east, west, north and've got us and we've got you in our sights...

    skyray is love,

  • At Thursday, March 30, 2006 10:40:00 PM, Blogger vayie said…

    Goodluck on whatever road you take.

  • At Friday, March 31, 2006 7:18:00 AM, Blogger Jennie said…

    Congratulations are in order, I guess.

    I once heard from somewhere that life seldoms work out the way we want it and we always tell ourselves that everything is under control to keep ourselves sane.

    Life may be unfair, but for some unknown reason, things work out - no one knows how, but it does.

    Keep your chin up, Alfie. You're nearly there...

  • At Friday, March 31, 2006 10:23:00 PM, Blogger juOn said…


    I'm glad to hear about this very good news about you. Good for you. :-)

  • At Sunday, April 02, 2006 6:56:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    Naku, sanay na siguro sa akin si Buhay. We really have an ambivalent feelings toward each other. Hahaha.

    Sino kaya magbibigay sa 'kin ng gamit na medyas? Hahaha.

  • At Sunday, April 02, 2006 6:58:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…


    ' such a strange world indeed.

    ' got to download the new songs you uploaded on your Multiply site.

  • At Sunday, April 02, 2006 7:00:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    I'm really blessed to have friends like you who keep on blogging. This makes me realize that I'm not the only one prone to take a road less traveled.

  • At Sunday, April 02, 2006 7:05:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…


    Can you imagine, because of our blog sites, we continue to remain in touch with one another's experiences and journey?

    Triple thanks for including me in the special mentions in your latest blog entry. ' appreciate it very much.

  • At Sunday, April 02, 2006 7:08:00 PM, Blogger eLf ideas said…

    ...and also, the snow here in Manitoba where I am has finally melted. Spring is here to come. I know how hot the weather there now is, but here Summer is what most people look forward to.


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