The Return of eLf ideas

Two Days and Not Counting Anymore

2012-01-12T21:51:00.003-06:00

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January 12, 2012

Thursday

It's 9:50 p.m. I just finished writing and editing a few more articles. I also did my regular Facebook surfing to check out friends and posted ideas that I could hammer.

Two more days and we'll be boarding the airplane--Inna, Evawwen, and I with our friend, my band haLf man haLf eLf's violinist Christine Mazur. We're finally going to the Philippines!

Inna and I are yet to pack our three boxes. Nothing much--just our clothes and some goodies for my family in the Philippines.

The Winter in Winnipeg is finally catching up. The past days were less cold--atypical--considering that November should have been very cold already. Today is the coldest so far. According to the weather reports, the days would now become more and more cold. Winter has finally arrived! It doesn't matter to me now, anyway; for we are leaving Winnipeg on Saturday already--for a month's stay in the Philippines. I hope that when we come back, Winter's peak would have subsided already.

My homecoming--the first time after I left the Philippines in 2003--is a mix of joy, excitement, nervousness, and anxiousness (both sense of the word). I'm very happy because I could finally hug my parents and my sisters and their children again. In the same manner, that they could now hug Evawwen personally for the first time. I'm excited because of the forthcoming shows and grand reunion concert of my former band Half Life Half Death. If the countless friends, relatives, acquaintances, supporters, and fellow musicians would be true to their words--that they would attend the Feburary 3, 2012, grand reunion concert of Half Life Half Death at Club Phi at Metrowalk, in Pasig City, in the Philippines, then the concert would be a blast! I hope most of those who said would come will really come.

I'm nervous because, having been away for almost a decade, I'm sure that I would be experiencing an adjustment period--not only because of the weather but also because of the present state of things there. I'm sure that trends have evolved, streets will have narrowed to my point of view, and even crossing the busy streets would be a feat for me.

Also, I'm anxious about our concert. I knew that the expectations are high from people who are awaiting the return of Half Life Half Death. I just hope that the whole band will really be able to nail the performance. Well, considering the skills and talents of my bandmates, I'm counting on them.

Another thing that I'm looking forward to is the countless activities that I wanted to do in the Philippines, and most especially the countless people that I wanted to meet--friends, families, relatives, former classmates, former coworkers, and fellow artists.

I want to document my every move in photographs and in words. For, surely, I will be returning to Canada after a month full of new stories and experiences to share and tell through my writings. So I have to be focused and attentive all the time--so I can capture with my mind and pen all these worthy stories which I'm sure I would be treasuring in the future. Not only for me, but more so for my son Evawwen.

Every memory I have and every story I tell, I know that I can share with my son when he grows up. The way I can still vividly remember to this day many of the stories and experiences my Father had told and shared with me when I was a child.

"Written words," indeed, "are worth a thousand pieces of gold." (Adeline Yen Mah)

Time Is Constant; It's the Circumstance that Gives the Illusion of Its Fastness or Slowness

2012-01-07T17:00:00.003-06:00

Time flies fast, as they say, but this is just an after-the-fact reaction to the past. For me, time is constant--I cherish every moment of it. What makes it feel slow or fast are the circumstances an individual finds himself in--if the events are exciting and activity-filled, then time feels fast; when nothing much interesting is happening, then it feels slow.

One week, and we--my family and I--go to the Philippines. Is the Time moving slow?--no--but because of the anticipation for it--the seven-day period that is still to unfold seems slow. And then, for sure, on Saturday, on the day of our flight, Time would seem to have passed by quickly. That's after the fact.

Time is constant. I'm always in touch with reality. I don't allow emotions cloud my analytical thinking. As much as possible, I use logic and reason to guide my life and decisions.

The Return of the Pan

2012-01-01T13:03:00.005-06:00

It's January 1, 2012! The advent of yet another new year. As far as my life is concerned, it had so many ups--and fortunately, no alarming downs.

I am an atheist--therefore, every time I need to express my gratefulness and happiness for all the good things that have come and continue to come my way, I attribute this to common sense, logic, reason, and good and hard work; add to these, support and assistance from other people--from loved ones, friends, and even acquaintances--and not to that unseen being many people call the God.

As of the moment, I had not been excited about Christmas nor the New Year--simply because my regard for these cultural and social events is being overshadowed by my excitement for my forthcoming return to my original home country, the Philippines, on January 15, 2012. And I will be coming home with my family--Charina, Marina, Jannica, Gabby, and Evawwen--and Christine Mazur, the violin/cello player in my band here in Canada, haLf man haLf eLf.

My former band in the Philippines, Half Life Half Death, is slated to perform a reunion concert on February 3, 2012, at Club Phi at Metrowalk, in Pasig City. The show is being produced by Requiem Rising and Lilystar Records. Requiem Rising is the same outfit that staged the reunion concert of Identity Crisis last September. Identity Crisis is one of the pioneering bands in the Philippine New Wave scene--active especially in the period 1986-1989 Lilystar Records is the independent music label owned by Clementine Castro, the bandleader of the Indie Pop band The Camerawalls--one of the featuring bands at our reunion concert entitled "The Evolution of NewWave"; the other supporting acts being The Gentle Isolation and Your Imaginary Friends. The concert party will feature not only the said New Wave bands but also DJs from the NewWave mobile Mode Zero as well as participation from the WXB102 family.

There is so much to talk about this forthcoming return of mine to the Philippines--so many activities lined up, so many important people to meet, so many stories to weave once again.

Above all, I'm excited to see my parents and sisters and their children, especially that this will be my first time to see them--see the Philippines--after I left for Canada in August 2003. That was 8 years and 5 months! Almost a decade.

It's been a while since I wrote regularly on this blogspot of mine. I now decide to write again regularly--every day if I can--especially to document my adventures in the Philippines which will start in two weeks.

"My mind is a cup;
Knowledge is soup;

With spoons I'm sharing what I learn."

--The Haiku of Never Ending Learning"--aLfie vera mella

Six years ago, half a year again has passed

2010-06-12T09:38:00.004-05:00

June 12, 2010
Saturday

Half-amazing that, looking back to the first time I wrote an entry on this blogspot of mine, six years has passed. Half-amazing only because, considering the seemingly fast passage of time, I still feel that time simply passed the usual course. I mean, after all the experiences I had--as documented in details and full glory on this blogspot--I wouldn't say that I didn't feel impatience.

I'm just savoring each moment, each opportunity, each fruit of success, and continuous challenges.

Many people I know get amazed at how I could remember so many things, moments in my life--from the early '70s through the decades that followed. I could even vividly retell some moments when I was only 4 years old.

Even I am half-amazed--only half because I know that I'm capable of this simply because I always look back. More than that, I always write down events--and all these help me remember.

On days when I'm not too busy with hospital work, writing, performing, spending time with my family, I re-read the entries on this blogspot. And it makes me smile at the amount of materials that I was able to document during my first three years of living in Canada. As a friend of mine said, I didn't need a psychoanalyst to assess myself because, through my ponderous writings, I was able to look within and into as well as from outside the box, so to speak.

While reading my blog entries, since day one, I realized that everything is worth publishing as a book. Regardless if I have defied many expressions and statements and declarations I made during my early years in Canada--which include love and other feelings. But, what can I do--I'm just acting like any ordinary human being--idealistic yet inconsistent at times, wise yet foolish, humane but giving in to my animal nature once in a while? After all, what is human but the highest form of an animal?

Yes, I believe that humans are animals. Only when humans finally descale themselves of their animal nature can they consider themselves not animals. Until then, a human is just another animal.

A former follower of this blogspot asked me if I am resuming my blogging; I said, yes, but not as regularly as before...simply because my circumstance changed. I have so many activities going on since the day Grandfather died. And I'm continuously juggling everything--though in delight.

Am I publishing the first three years' worth of entries from this blogspot of mine? Yes. I've decided to pursue this. Unedited. Anyway, everything documented here has been open to the public, so why "sanitize" anything? Besides, everything that I have expressed here is the truth during the moment I wrote it. Like when I said to someone I loved her or I hated him, that was what I was feeling during the moment I was expressing it. If my feelings have changed, that's only a natural course in my continuously evolving psyche.

So many things change. As well, so many things remain the same. Nothing's edited--except perhaps for grammar and the correctness of factual information.

I continue to indite whatever I have in my mind; therefore, I remain eLf.

Luck is coincidence. Good luck is opportunity taken. Bad luck is either coincidence or bad choice. Success is hard work.

I remain the captain of my mind and the master of my fate.

I am the father of Evawwen.

haLf man haLf eLf at "Rock against Ignorance"

2010-03-03T10:47:00.004-06:00

My band haLf man haLf eLf at the music/art show "Rock against Ignorance," held on February 19, 2010, at West End Cultural Centre, in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

haLf man haLf eLf at "Rock against Ignorance"

2010-03-03T10:36:00.003-06:00

This is my band haLf man haLf eLf at the musical/art show "Rock against Ignorance," held on February 19, 2010, at West End Cultural Centre.

This is what I describe as pure passion without the need for any chemical inspiration.

timpani madness

Conjuring the Classical muses

There they soar once again

Here I come, my brilliance

Spring is peeking

2010-03-03T10:11:00.003-06:00

March 3, 2010 (Wednesday)

Yeah, a long time has passed since my last blog entry on this blogspot of mine. Why? Not that I became tired of writing but because--as I already said a number of times in a previous entry--I got busy with other activities--including my job at the hospital, my task as a newspaper editor, performance and recording sessions with my band, and spending time with my family especially my firstborn Evawwen, who will turn 13 months tomorrow. Time flies? You can say that, but for me, time does not fly after all. Because I'm now at the stage of my life when I try to cherish every single moment. I'm 39. If I'm going to live until at least 80, this means that I'm nearly half my life already. And I try to live my remaining half to the fullest, just like how I lived the first half of it.

Another Winter has passed. A cold winter, but less cold than the previous ones. I survived. We survived. The sun is more glorious these days. The sky is majestic. This is the reason I'm writing new songs with my band which I want people to describe as majestic. After so many years of living a colorful life, there's nowhere to go to but to a better direction. I would not settle for anything less than majestic.

"Today, I won't think of any sad thing...."--James, "What For"

2010-01-03T17:22:00.001-06:00

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Listen to my band Half Life Half Death's songs recorded in 1994.

Listen to studio-recorded songs by Dream Kitchen: "16 Hours" and "Bike Ride" (2005). The chefs of Dream Kitchen are former Half Life Half Death members. Read the story of the kitchen.

Listen to "Girl in Mind" and "The Ghost in You" by The Rain: a collaborative musical project of former Half Life Half Death lead guitarist, Rain Paggao, and his mentor/brother JB Paggao.

Read the stories behind "Butterflies" and "Alimango" (lyrics and band photographs included). Read Half Life Half Death on Wikipedia.

Watch the video of "Butterflies" here. A friend of mine, Rose Moya, made an awesome picture video of the same song; watch it here. Watch a homemade video I stumbled upon YouTube.comthat employed Half Life Half Death's "Kapit-Tuko": I called the video "Walis Tambo."

Watch "16 Hours," the first music video of Dream Kitchen.

...

2009-06-23T02:38:00.002-05:00

...

The Birth of Evawwen Lii-athne Frriloem Mella

2009-06-23T01:40:00.006-05:00

June 23, 2009

Half a year has passed since my last blog entry on this site of mine. With only a relatively short period of time, a lot of major changes in my life took place.

First, I am finally a father--a proud and fulfilled father, at that. My wife, Charina Oyong, gave birth to my firstborn (a baby boy), whom we named Evawwen Lii-athne Frriloem.

Evawwen (evaw wen) = the reverse spelling of New Wave--my favorite genre of music;

Lii-athne (liyi athney) = a name I coined; a character in the fantasy novel that I've long been writing; and

Frriloem (fri lowem) = another character from the said novel (Visionata Grandiosa).

Evawwen was born on February 4, 2009, 6 lbs and 8 ounces.

Using the words of my bestfriend Rain: "Finally, you are now immortal!"

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No need to say more for now. Indeed, photographs tell far more vivid stories.

On celebrating birthdays and other occasions

2009-01-29T12:45:00.004-06:00

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January 29, 2009

My birthday just passed me by, 23rd of this month. I'm 38. Perhaps many would notice my being straightforward with regard to my age. Well, I've long reached that stage when age doesn't really matter anymore. I mean, what counts more, for me, are the experiences, accomplishments, achievements, trials, and material things that I have gained (or lost) and amassed through all the years.

I did not celebrate my birthday with a big bang. I did not have a birthday cake, birthday balloons, parlor games, or even a simple costume party. We--my family--just had dinner at a sushi restaurant in Downtown Winnipeg. No singing of the happy birthday song; just simple birthday greetings. I like it better that way, at this stage of my life--simple, peaceful, intimate celebration. Not that I dislike big gatherings, but I've long renounced my affinity for big celebrations. I don't like the fact that many invitees attend gatherings feeling pressured to show up not without anything to give to the celebrant. As for me, every time I get invited to a party or any celebration, I don't compel myself to bring a gift. I like to believe that I was invited because the celebrant simply wanted me to partake of the joyful event. So, I don't usually bring gifts to a party. If I choose to attend, I simply show up there, greet the celebrant, socialize with my fellow invitees, and enjoy whatever food was there. I think this is the real essence of being an invitee. I don't criticize the manners of the other invitees, I don't criticize the clothes everyone is wearing, and most of all, I don't criticize the food or the venue. I know that many people fall in to this folly. They get invited to a party, and then instead of feeling appreciative of being invited, they criticize the food, the venue, the service, their fellow attendees. Most of all, many feel compelled to bring something or to give something to the celebrant. Sometimes they criticize the people who invited them for having put them in a situation when and where they must spend for gifts and for "stealing" their precious weekend free time.

Bottomline, we always have a choice. And whatever our choices are, we should stand by it.

If you get invited to a party, don't attend if you don't feel like it. Don't feel embarrassed for having failed to attend. If you're at the moment running low of budget, don't compel to buy a gift or to give something. Your presence should be enough for whoever invited you. Attending a part or any celebration must always be a leisure activity. There should be no pressures. In the same manner that if you happened to be the celebrant inviting people to your party, you should not expect to receive something from the people attending your party. Their being there should be enough to be thankful for.

So, in case I decided to celebrate my next birthday with a big bang or any other important occasion in my life with a party, and you received an invitation from me, don't be compelled to attend if you have more important things to attend to; or if in case you decided to attend my party, don't feel pressured to bring a gift or to give something. Your mere presence in my party should be enough. And you may come in whatever attire you feel socially comfortable. I don't believe in the myth that people should attend parties wearing formal, semi-formal, or this and that type of clothes. I believe in the ultimate freedom of being yourself.

Happy Birthday to me.

Gifts or no gifts, I still have to thank Fate and the Natural Order of the Universe for giving me such wondrous gifts in time for my birthday.

First, my firstborn is coming out anytime now. His name will be Evawwen Lii-athne Frriloem. The first name, Evawwen, is the reverse spelling of New Wave, one of my favorite genres of music, the other one being Post-Punk. I considered Post-Punk in reverse, but it doesn't read and sound good to me. The second and the last names are names of characters I created for my fantasy fiction novel Visionata Grandiosa--Lii-athne Aardne and Frriloem Kryyle--a novel I began writing more than ten years ago and I am yet to finish.

Second, I just formed a new band, The Half Gifts. We're coming along really well. We're having a weekly session, arranging original compositions, with the purpose of recording these at a professional studio in the coming months.

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Thank you very much to all those who have greeted me and sent their missives in however way. I appreciate it all!

Special thanks go to my friends and acquaintances on Multiply, Facebook, Friendster, as well as my longtime and close friends who remembered and took the moment to greet me.

Hindi Ka Ba Nauubusan ng Isusulat?

2009-01-11T00:54:00.004-06:00

[published in my cultures & lifestyles column, "Sa Madaling Salita," in the January 2009 issue #1 of Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino-owned newspaper in Manitoba, Canada]

by aLfie vera mella

Hindi Ka Ba Nauubusan ng Isusulat?
or, Don’t You Run Out of Ideas to Write About?

A friend asked me. I said, rarely.

Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng aking nakakasalamuha sa araw-araw at nao-obserbahang pangyayari saan man ako naroroon, e sangkaterbang kuwento, aral, at kaalaman ang palaging nakokolekta ng aking isipan—mga ideyang tinatahi ko para makabuo ng mga artikulong maibabahagi sa mga tulad kong mahilig magbasa.

O sige, bibigyan kita ng halimbawa, sabi ko sa kanya. Mula sa mga kuwento ng ilang taong nakausap ko kahapon sa Riverview Health Centre, kung saan ako nagtatrabaho, e makabubuo ako ng isang artikulo.

Reaping in Old Age What Was Sown in Youth
I was assigned to work at the Palliative Care—the unit for patients with life-threatening illnesses whose primary care needs include the alleviation of symptoms and the improvement of the quality of life. Considering the medical conditions of these patients, one is inclined to think that everyone in such a unit has a very bleak disposition. To encounter cantankerous and withdrawn patients is commonplace and understandable. After all, who would be happy being fated in such a debilitating condition? So you can imagine my surprise when one particular patient, instead of exuding depression, was radiating with exuberance.

“Good morning, Mrs. Smith. That’s a nice smile for a bright morning!” I said as I put her breakfast tray on the side table.

“I’m in a jolly mood because my daughter is visiting in the afternoon, and she’s bringing along the kids,” Mrs. Smith said.

I said that she was lucky for having a thoughtful daughter. She said she was glad that she had been a good mother and grandmother, having raised her family in a household where the younger ones could reason out and express their thoughts so long as they spoke out in a respectful manner. Because of this she was able to foster a mutually loving relationship in her family. She said that openness is very important. In Mrs. Smith’s story, we realize that one reaps in old age what one has sown in one’s youth.

To Stand by One’s Belief Is Pride; To Claim It to Be Better than Others’ Is Folly
I was at the cafeteria, having lunch, when a female visitor approached me and said if she could join me. I said, of course. That would be a pleasure, another opportunity to get an insight or two.

“Are you a vegetarian?” she asked.

My lunch was rice and steak, so perhaps she was not paying attention to what I was eating.

“Hmm, no,” I replied.

Anyway, she began telling me about vegetarianism and gave me a handful of pamphlets about it. I was just listening—not because I didn’t know much about the practice but simply because a 30-minute lunch break was short for such a discourse. Break time was up; I had to go.

She uttered her parting words: “Give vegetarianism a try. You’ll see, you’ll become healthier.”

I have nothing against vegans, vegetarians, fructarians, pescetarians, or practitioners of any other kind of dietary practices. It’s their choice, and I respect it. However, what I don’t buy is when someone claims that her dietary practice, or any belief for that matter, is better than those of others. In Miss Vegetarian’s story, we realize that to stand by one’s belief is pride, but to claim this to be better than those of others is folly.

There! Two insightful stories weaved out of my conversations with two persons I randomly met during that Sunday work at Riverview Health Centre. All I needed was listen and pay attention to what they had to say and then sieve whatever lessons I could learn from such stories.

A good conversationalist does not only talk but also listen, pay attention, and give importance to what other people have to say.

Sa Madaling Salita
Ang tunay na alagad ng pluma ay hindi nauubusan ng mga kuwentong isusulat dahil palaging bukás ang kanyang diwa sa mga nangyayari sa kanyang paligid at lagi niyang binibigyan ng pansin at halaga ang mga sinasabi ng bawat taong kanyang nakakasalamuha.

Or, in Simple Words
A true progeny of the pen never runs out of ideas and stories to write about because he is conscious, perceptive, observant, and analytical of the things and occurrences around him. He also listens, pays attention, and gives importance to what other people have to say.

Is 2008 a Lackluster Year in Terms of Music?

2009-01-11T00:29:00.003-06:00

by aLfie vera mella

[published in my music column, "Sa Ugoy ng Musika," in the January 2009 issue #1 of Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino-owned newspaper in Manitoba, Canada]

A year-ender article published in a particular music magazine claimed that 2008 was an uninteresting and lackluster year in terms of music. What! Did I read it correctly? Sorry, but I beg to disagree. I disagree. There, twice said. To a true music enthusiast, every year is as interesting as any other year when it comes to discovering music and rediscovering classics, simply because countless singles and albums—both by old and new artists—are being produced and released and reproduced and reissued each year. Whatever your taste in music is, for sure, there will always be something for you. Gone were the days when music lovers rely on mainstream radio to know what’s new out there. In the Internet Age, where we are now, all one needs is resourcefulness.

Being a music enthusiast, I download a lot of music. But I don’t stop there. Because I’m a music collector too, I still buy CDs especially of artists I like.

Here are 24 of the albums I bought last year to add to my record collection. These are just a minute fraction of all the records produced and released in 2008. Enclosed in the parentheses is my favorite song off each album.

file under Alternative Rock:
British Sea Power – Do You Like Rock Music? (“Waving Flags”)
Coldplay – Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends (“Viva la Vida”)
The Cure – 4:13 Dream (“The Only One”)
Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes (“Ragged Wood”)
Keane – Perfect Symmetry (“Spiralling”)
The Killers – Day & Age (“Human”)
The Lucksmiths – First Frost (“Never and Always”)

file under Metal:
Death Angel – Killing Season (“Dethroned”)
Guns n’ Roses – Chinese Democracy (“Street of Dreams”)
Journey – Revelation (“Faith in the Heartland”)
Judas Priest – Nostradamus (“Visions”)
Metallica – Death Magnetic (“The Day that Never Comes”)
Motörhead – Motörizer (“The Thousand Names of God”)

file under Pop:
Britney Spears – Circus (“Womanizer”)
Madonna – Hard Candy (“4 Minutes”)
Pink – Funhouse (“So What”)
Taylor Swift – Fearless (“White Horse”)

file under Filipino Alternative Rock:
Rico Blanco – Your Universe (“Yugto”)
The Camerawalls – Pocket Guide to the Otherworld (“Clinically Dead for 16 Hours”)
Kenyo – Radio Surfing (“Sana”)
Taken by Cars – Endings of a New Kind (“A Weeknight Memoir [In High Definition”])

file under Ambient/Electric:
Enya – And Winter Came… (“Trains and Winter Rains”)
Enigma – Seven Lives, Many Faces (“The Same Parents”)
Portishead – Third (“We Carry On”)

Final Note
No need to listen to the radio and wait for what’s new. All you need is resourcefulness. Just a google on the Internet lets you know if there’s something new from your preferred genre or favorite artists. There are also Web sites like Limewire, Multiply, and MySpace from which you can sample old and new releases before deciding if buying such albums is worth your hard-earned money.

I respect individuality and people's difference in preference.

2008-11-20T02:04:00.005-06:00

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November 20, 2008
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I usually write long comments. Being a writer, I tend to treat all my writings as formal as possible. I chanced upon a blog entry posted on Multiply concerning Friendster's having been hacked. One who commented said that she hated Friendster.

The comment prompted me to write my own, long comment. Since that it got longer as usual, I decided to write it here as a blog posting of its own.

That's what I call eLf ideas.

For me, having my own blog site like this one is better than any of the networking sites that I already tried, such as MySpace, Friendster, and Multiply, because having my own blog site like this gives me a sense of ownership.

Friendster - I still thank the developers of this site because through this site I got to reconnect with many long-lost friends, stretching way back 20 years ago! However, I dislike the way many people there hide behind pathetic aliases and pictures. The bulletin board has also become an ad board that usually gets flooded with topics that do not interest me anyway. Also, the testimonial section has lost its real meaning--it has become an outlet of ad and video-clip flooders. Some even write their messages there, when in fact, a testimonial should be something you write about the person. (Well, I'm guilty of writing messages on the testimonial section one once in a while. Anyway, I seldom use my Friendster account anymore.)

MySpace - I long lost interest in this site because many (if not most) of the people there (especially musicians) just flood one another's site with ads and with self-promotion tactics. They obviously don't care about music; instead, they simply care about their own music. I've long abandoned my account there.

Facebook - I go there once in a while, but I feel like it is the "downtown" or the "marketplace" (or in the Philippines, the Divisoria) of networking sites because it's too crowded and almost anyone can read your postings; feels like everyone is talking all the time at the same time. ' no sense of privacy. ' too overwhelming. I just registered a few months ago, but I lost interest already.

Multiply - I love this site because I continue to enjoy the album downloads, and I do my share by uploading music as well. The features are also better organized compared with other sites. But I guess, Multiply is usually favored by music enthusiasts like me.

In view of all these, why does each site still boasts of countless users? The answer is simple. Each site, though similar in nature and purpose with the others, has its own specialized features. And this features click to those people who obviously need such features. And because each of us has different needs and interests, our preference also varies.

Bottomline?

Individuality

and

Respect for each other's preference.

I'm the type of person who would not say "Guns n' Roses' new album, Chinese Democracy, or The Killers' latest, Day & Age, suck!" if in case I didn't like it, because I know very well that there are countless others who love the music of these bands. Others pass off judgment too harshly and too easily without considering the taste or feelings of others. That's what we call apathy, indifference, or inconsideration.

Lastly, for the record, I like G n' R and Metal music in general. I will buy an original copy of Chinese Democracy as soon as it gets released. Axl Rose's having spent more than a decade to finish this album deserves my appreciation and patronage.

I love The Killers, so I will buy also their forthcoming album. Not only because I love The Killers' music but more so New Wave and Post-Punk are my most favorite genres of music. In fact, I bought the debut, Hot Fuss, back in 2003, during the time they were still unheard of by the mainstream. I loved their music ever since, as well as the band's image. Just one listen to the new singles "Human" and "Spaceman" got me hooked with their music once again.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

I love you and I miss you very much. I hope to see all of you there next year or the year after next year.

Are we human, or are we dancer?

2008-11-16T17:13:00.007-06:00

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November 16, 2008
Sunday
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Yesterday, as I was organizing my MP3 collection, I realized that in my hard disk drives are already around 100,000 of songs! Whew! Have I listened to every single song? Admittedly, not yet. But I make sure that I play an entire new album as regularly as possible. And although I have the tendency to play my classic favorites every time I want to get recharged, I also try to listen to new songs and new artists. Strictly New Wave? Not anymore, as I said a long time ago. Though the genre remains my favorite, my ears have long been accustomed to listening to any genre of music. Would you believe that, depending on mood and purpose, I could be moved in a similar level of emotions by songs by The Cure, Ogie Alcasid, Yoyoy Villame, Megadeth, Mozart, Rihanna, or Chuck Mangione.

Since that I can pretty much download songs I like, do I still buy CDs? Of course.

In fact, I've completed the recent releases of The Cure--all the new singles, the EP, as well as the new album.

Last night, I chanced upon the television MTV Europe with The Killers performing their new single "Human." I was passionately moved. My favorite genre is really here to stay forever. Worthy of noting also is the fact that The Killers interpolated some lines from Echo & the Bunnymen's "Bring On the Dancing Horses" at the end of the song.

The Killers' new, third album, Day & Age, is set to be released by the end of the month. Will I buy a copy?

Of course. I'm a Killers fan, since the day in 2003 when I first heard "Mr. Brightside," a time when The Killers were still unheard of by many ordinary people.

I'm a star starstrucked all the time.

2008-11-14T17:33:00.010-06:00

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November 14, 2008
Friday
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My having been the editor and a columnist of Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino-owned newspaper here in Manitoba, Canada, is very fun. Not only am I able to share my eLf ideas and showcase my writing passion to a wider readership but also do I enjoy talking with showbusiness stars in an equal level--not idol-fan circumstance, but producer/promoter-client relationship. It makes a difference, of course. Not that movie stars or music-stars look down at their fans and supporters, but of course there's this feeling on their part that such people are there just to ogle them. Unlike when you're there with them as a part of the "crew" or as also a "star" yourself, they somehow see you as their equal. You can strike a conversation with them as if you're a friend, and they tend to lower their defenses and open up their minds. Whenever stars see you as someone who's there just to get their autographs or have your pictures taken with them, they tend to feel uncomfortable and assume the so-called elusive mode.

In view of that, we really couldn't blame stars for being naturally aloof with their fans or with common people who stare at them as if they're laboratory specimens. I could imagine how it feels like being left in the middle of a big crowd of strangers whose eyes are all set on you. Flattering, one might quip. Yes, it is. Of course. But the moment such flattery comes endlessly and from people you barely know, the feeling becomes weird, as if you are being stalked or something.

Having been a member of Half Life Half Death, a band that had its share of "star moments" in the Philippine Alternative music scene in the 1980s through the 1990s, I had the privilege to mingle (and have pictures with them taken) with many showbusiness personalities. And I feel flattered myself (up to this day) that those moments with them happened not as a fan-idol encounter but as their equal.

And back to where this article started, I am glad that here in Canada, I still am able to do the same. Because being a member of the media--regardless how big or small my part is--I can still enjoy the pleasure of having my pictures taken with stars.

Starstruck am I?

November 13, 2008, with Eric Quizon, at Buffet Square Garden, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

with Ronnie Quizon

with Jeffrey Quizon

with Vandolph Quizon & his wife, Jenny Salimao-Quizon

with Boy2 Quizon

Of course, I am. I am not a hypocrite. Regardless if the star is April Boy Regino or Yoyoy Villame or Slapshock members or Eric Quizon, having my pictures taken with them is such an honor. Whatever many bitter people might have to say, I will always respect the works and contributions of such stars in the field of showbusiness--music or film or politics this business might be.

the Idol himself, Pop singer-songwriter April Boy Regino

comedian Mar Lopez of Da Big 3 Sullivans

...
Last night, Filipino Journal (being one of the sponsors) hosted a welcome dinner for the entourage of Dolphy & Zsa-zsa, sons Eric, Ronnie, Jeffrey, Vandolph, and grandson Boy2 Quizon, with April Boy Regino at Buffet Square Garden. The visiting stars would be staging a show at Pantages Theatre later. (I'm just having my hair done while finishing this blog entry, and we're off to the venue to watch the show. I will be going to the stage during the finale because as the editor of the newspaper, I will join the publisher, Rod Cantiveros, in awarding Dolphy a plaque of recognition for his long career in showbusiness.

What would I wear? As usual, my ultra New Wave sense of fashion will always be in my hair.

I am strolling in the starstudded corner of my memory.

2008-11-13T01:06:00.002-06:00

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In 1995, during my former band Half Life Half Death's TV heydays, when we had the privilege to promote our singles on television, I took the opportunity of having pictures of myself with stars taken. There were lots of such star-studded photographs that I had as souvenirs; unfortunately, many of these pictures got lost in the process of my family's transferring residence here and there during the '90s.

Here're some of what I was able to keep. I treasure these photographs to this day.

I and my Half Life Half Death bandmates with my sisters and Regine Velasquez (1995, Channel 9's Chibugan Na)

with Pops Fernandez (1995, Channel 9's Chibugan Na)

with Michelle van Eimeren (1995, Channel 9's Chibugan Na)

with Jao Mapa, Victor Neri, Roselle Nava, Gio Alvarez, Sharon Galvez (1995, Channel 2's A.S.A.P.)

with Jamie Rivera (1995, Channel 9's Chibugan Na)

with Dayanara Torres (1995, Channel 2's A.S.A.P.)

with Arnel Ignacio and Karla Estrada (1995, Channel 9's Chibugan Na)

In Simple Words (1st book, to be published in February 2009)

2008-11-10T21:29:00.005-06:00

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November 10, 2008
Monday

This is it! I need to get inspired, and while I'm currently heavily inspired, I have to take advantage of the literary flame once again burning deep inside me. Many years have passed since I started toying with the idea of publishing my books. However, procrastination always got in the way. But not only this, I also got caught up with work and other stuff since I finally got my life back here in Canada.

To those who didn't know what I'm talking about, here's a little backtracking...

In 2003, I left the Philippines for Canada primarily to serve as my maternal grandfather's caregiver. That period was very tough because I really took care of him day in day out for almost three years until he passed away. Only after his death when I finally regained my freedom. After such predicament was I able to look for a real job, because when he was still alive, no one could be with him all the time except me. Grandfather and I stayed with relatives, and that meant I could not live on my own accord. I had to go with the flow. I did not have a salary nor a regular allowance, so I was practically poor during that period--not only financially but also in self-confidence and in self-esteem. But that is all over now.

In July 2006, 91-year-old Grandfather passed away. And so my life began colorfully once again.

Fast forward...

I now work as nursing assistant at a hospital, Riverview Health Centre, as well as work as the editor of Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino-owned newspaper here in Manitoba where I am. I also maintain three columns in the said newspaper: "Sa Madaling Salita" (about cultures and lifestyles as well as personal observations on life in Canada), "Sa Ugoy ng Musika" (music column tackling music, songs, artists, genres, fashion, and related stuff), and "Engkanto series" (serialization of the fantasy fiction / Philippine mythology book I'm currently finishing).

Just recently I while on a contemplation about my accomplishments in Canada, I felt very grateful to my deities because my life turned for the better after all. There are still lots of catching up to do and some obstacles to hurdle, but so far so good.

However, one dream that suddenly began to bug me once again is the question of when will I really have a book of mine published. The answer is NOW! I mean I should act now and start working on the book that I decided to publish first, and this will be the book compiling all the articles I've written for my column "Sa Madaling Salita."

Also, I feel good that not only Filipinos have been reading my columns in the newspaper; many non-Filipino coworkers have also began asking for copies of the newspaper because they said that they enjoy reading my articles. Some of you might wonder how they can understand the articles; well, if you have been reading some of the articles which I have been posting here, you would have noticed that for that particular column, I write partially in Filipino and mostly in English. This was intended. Because I acknowledged the fact that English is a very widely used and understood language, and that I'm now living in an English-speaking country, that the most practical and logical thing to do is to write using English as much as possible.

So, for the book version of "Sa Madaling Salita," I decided to translate the title (as well as the title of each article) into English, and edit the articles themselves and try to make it more universal as possible, meaning, I would be translating the entire articles into English except for the introductory paragraphs.

Lastly, I've given myself a deadline for this project. I should be finished with compiling and re-editing the articles for this book next month, so that I can give the files to the publisher as soon as possible for an intended publication and printing in February of next year. I already got in touch with a self-publishing company which gave me a reasonable quote. They'd be taking care of everything, from laying out to undertaking the copyright and other important documentation.

I want to release the book commercially on February 14 of next year. Why Valentine's Day? Because that will mark the third year anniversary of my column "Sa Madaling Salita" in Filipino Journal.

My first article written for the column, "Ano ang 'I Miss You' sa Filipino?," was published in 2006, for the Valentine issue of the newspaper.

ThereForce, I have two months to finish the book. I just be needing all the moral support to keep my passion burning some more. Save your money for now; just purchase a copy of the book when it's finally available and I'd be happy.

In Simple Words
by aLfie vera mella
Date of Publication: February 2009
Tentative price: C$15

I'm accepting pre-orders now. Hehehe.

I always have a clear sense of purpose.

2008-11-09T21:23:00.004-06:00

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November 9, 2008
Sunday

Somehow the snow on the streets has melted today. The streets were not that icy and slippery anymore. Well, at least for the time being. Surely, though, snow will fall again in the coming days. No doubt about that, it's Winter time already! And what's great is that, whatever season of the year it might be, I always have a clear sense of purpose.

Work today was smooth. I was assigned at the same unit I was on yesterday--CD1, personal care home. I always enjoy being of service to the elderly. I noticed that, no matter how grumpy a resident is, I have my own special way of softening their mood. Flattering also is the fact that, despite the weakness of the short-term memories of such old people, most of them easily remember my name. Good.

Charina and I went to Polo Park to buy some grocery supplies at Safeway and at Shoppers. There were lots of people there--Filipinos and non-Filipinos. I noticed that, compared with my first years here, about 3 years ago, the malls these days are also becoming crowded, in the standards of Canada anyway. I welcome that. I enjoy strolling and shopping at the malls when there are lots of people. I feel a sense of community.

I remember my first years in Canada, I almost never went out without my camera. I guess I have to start bringing my camera once again every time we go out. Not because that I've been living here for five years now that I'm starting to lose my awe. In times I feel like that--feel like everything starts to be usual and normal again, I simply look back and it does the trick! I always try to capture in my heart the same excitement I used to have when I first saw Canada.

Anyway, the blog bug has bitten me once again! And I love it. I suddenly had the urge to write as many blog entries as I could, the way I used to do when I started this blogspot, 4 years ago.

Above is a photograph of mine taken only a month ago. This hairstyle is partly inspired by the hairdo of Information Society's vocalist, Kurt Harland (see below). In case you don't know the band, Information Society is the British band that sung "What's on Your Mind? (Pure Energy)."

Sa Ugoy ng Musika feature #2: Heavy Metal Thunder!

2008-11-08T21:17:00.020-06:00

(Classifying Rock Music into Genres)
by aLfie vera mella

[published in Filipino Journal, Nov. 5-20, 2008 issue]

“I like smoke and lightning / Heavy metal thunder / Racin' with the wind / And the feelin' that I'm under…”—Steppenwolf, “Born to Be Wild” (Steppenwolf, 1968)

Some people insist that we should not classify music into genres. They say that music is simply either good music or bad music. I don’t agree with them. That’s a shallow way to treat a very diverse form of art. It’s like saying that living things are only either plants or animals, or that animals are simply either good animals or bad animals; when in fact, animals may be classified into vertebrates and invertebrates, and then vertebrates into birds, fishes, amphibians, reptiles, and mammals. As humans, who are endowed with a complex brain that can perform countless complicated functions and processes, we can do better than that. Music deserves a better treatment.

In its original sense, taxonomy referred to the classifying of living organisms. However, the term is now used in a wider sense; it now refers to “a classification of things, as well as to the principles underlying such a classification.” Thus the existence of a practice known as Music Taxonomy, or Music Genre Classification.

To an ordinary listener, any song which features distorted guitars and heavy drum poundings is simply plain old noisy Rock music. The real music enthusiast, however, cares about genres and respects all kinds of music. The label Rock music is insufficient to her, because it is generic and too broad. S/he would opt for the more specific, subgenres that include Progressive Rock, Punk Rock, New Wave, Alternative Rock, Metal, and Grunge. To her, no genre or song is better than another, regardless how simple or complex its structure is. Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” is as good a musical composition as Simple Plan’s “When I’m Gone.”

This issue gives an overview of Metal music and cites examples of its subgenres and bands and songs classified under such subgenres.

I with Slapshock vocalist Jamir Garcia, and friend Roy Gutierrez

I with Slapshock guitarist Jerry Basco, bassist Lee Nadela, and soundtech Greg Maurice; Nadela used to be the bassist of the Filipino Alternative Rock band Agaw-Agimat, while Greg Maurice the drummer of another Alternative Rock band, Hav'it, active in the '90s.

I with Slapshock drummer Chi Evora and guitarist Lean Ansing, who used to have a band named Machinegun Poetry, active especially during the Club Dredd-EDSA days

Formed in 1999, Slapshock is a Filipino Nu Metal band which has so far released 5 successful albums and is the first Filipino band to be invited to the Dubai Desert Rockfest, playing alongside Korn, Muse, and Velvet Revolver.

The Use of Demonic Imageries
“I don’t like Heavy Metal. It’s just noise. It’s the Devil’s music!”

That is a stupid and unfair thing to say about Metal music or any other type of music for that matter.

First, you cannot equate music with noise, simply because they are the exact opposites of each other. Whereas
noise is a nonharmonious group of sounds that has no recognizable pattern or structure, music is an expression of ideas and emotions in significant forms that use elements like rhythm, melody, and harmony. Therefore, any song—no matter how loud, fast, aggressive, or distorted-sounding—remains a musical composition, because it uses musical elements and follows certain musical structures.

Second, the use of words and imageries commonly associated with evil is not a reason to dismiss the music of Metal bands as a work of the Devil. The use of demonic imageries in Music—usually for artistic, satiric, shock, and commercial effect—should not be surprising, because it is common also in other forms of art, like Literature, Painting, and Films. Persecuting music like this is like going back to the 1600s, when narrow-minded and self-righteous leaders burn books and people with radical ideas, claiming them to be works of Satan.

The Birth of Metal Music
Metal is a genre of Rock music that developed in the late 1960s and early 1970s, largely in England and the United States. It is rooted in Blues Rock and Psychedelic Rock of the mid-’60s and in Garage Rock and Folk Rock of the early ’60s. It features a thick, massive sound, characterized by highly amplified distortion, extended guitar solos, emphatic beats, and overall loudness.

Metal music is so maligned and persecuted, and a lot of people continue to misunderstand it just because it is usually loud and intense, with lyrics and imageries commonly delving on sex, death, violence, and the occult. Although, many Metal bands also use themes of love, romantic tragedy, fantasy literature, and sociopolitical commentary.

Examples of early Metal bands (now classified more specifically as Heavy Metal or Classic Metal) are Led Zeppelin (“Stairway to Heaven”), Black Sabbath (“War Pigs”), Deep Purple ("Highway Star"), Judas Priest (“Deal with the Devil”), and Iron Maiden (“The Number of the Beast”).

Led Zeppelin

Black Sabbath

Deep Purple

As the genre evolved and gained popularity through the years, it splintered into many subgenres:

In the ’80s, Glam/Pop Metal—less abrasive and more melodic, band members often sported long teased-up hair and wore dazzling clothes: Van Halen (“Jump”), Bon Jovi (“You Give Love a Bad Name”), Guns N’ Roses (“Sweet Child o’ Mine”);

Thrash Metal—faster tempo, more-distorted guitar sounds, and darker-themed lyrics: Metallica (“Seek and Destroy”), Megadeth (“Symphony of Destruction”), Slayer (“Angel of Death”);

In the ’90s, Funk Metal—with elements of Funk and Rap: Primus (“Jerry Was a Race Car Driver”), Infectious Grooves ("Punk It Up"), and Rage Against the Machine (“Killing in the Name”);

On October 11, 2008, Slapshock performed at Philippine-Canadian Center of Manitoba, in Winnipeg, to a very supportive mostly Filipino audience. Opening for the visiting band were Winnipeg local Filipino Alternative bands FourSight, The Nadelbacks, L.A.D., and my current band Half Endangered Species. In the photographs: (1) Roy Gutierrez, Lean Ansing, aLfie vera mella, Lee Nadela, Jamir Garcia, Chi Evora; (2) Lee, Paul Magnaye (L.A.D.), Jerry Basco, aLfie, Lean Ansing; (3) Ardie Sarao and aLfie (Half Endangered Species), Jamir Garcia, Charina Corbillon, and Slapshock fans

Nu Metal—with elements of Hip-hop, Techno, and Grunge: Korn (“Counterfeit”) and Linkin Park (“In the End”);

And in the ’00s, Retro Metal—contemporary bands whose music has been described as “realistic simulation of ’70s Glam and ’80s Metal”: The Darkness (“I Believe in a Thing called Love”) and Wolfmother (“Woman”).

In every decade, there emerge young and new bands whose music and style may be classified as Metal; therefore, although associated with particular decades, this genre and any other genre for that matter is now considered a timeless form of music. Furthermore, a number of Metal bands originating from the ’70s and ’80s and many surviving members of bands long disbanded continue to make similar styles of music, either as solo artists or in collaboration with other musicians.

Final Note
Even if we can classify artists and music into genres, still we cannot confine them rigidly in a particular classification, simply because artists can always experiment and try other styles and incorporate new elements in their music, resulting in fusion or crossovers and newer subgenres of music. Therefore, music taxonomy is only an attempt to organize music. It helps music enthusiasts diversify their musical taste and refine their music-listening skills, enhancing their listening pleasure.

I see the whiter side of the snow, but it's still mucky.

2008-11-08T20:38:00.005-06:00

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November 8, 2008
Saturday
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To many others, today is a weekend rest. Countless sleepyheads surely got up from bed late. Not I.

Today is the first day of my day-shift week work; meaning, I woke up early this morning, around 6:00, because I had to start my vehicle and turn on the heater about 15 minutes before driving. The temperature these days is below 0 degC because of the snow coupled with the freezing rain. Actually, when I woke up, I had the urge just to call a taxicab instead of driving. But the thought of paying C$15 for the one-way fare energized my nerves. I was driving very slow; the roads were icy and slippery. In fact, I skidded a couple of times; good that there were few vehicles on the road because it's weekend.

The day at work went by smoothly as usual. I enjoy my job at Riverview Health Centre, and that makes my work days tolerable.

Another story for an article...during the unbusy hours, I got to talk with one of the Filipina service partners, Rose Sanchez. I learned that she was a talented illustrator (charcoal, ink, and oil), but that she did not pursue the avocation. She began drawing as early as in Grade One, as influenced by her father, who himself was a painter. She said that she draws every time she's at home and not doing some chores. Drawing serves as her stress reliever. It also gives her a sense of nostalgia, because it has the power to transcend her back to her younger days. She said that she was happy also because her two children "inherited" her knack in drawing.

After work, I just went home to rest for a bit, then Ina and I went to Toys R Us to check out the items on SALE. I bought 6 new Star Wars Clone Wars action figures:
2 Ahsoka Tano
2 Clone Commander Cody
Clone Pilot Odd Ball
Super Battle Droid

and a metal slinky and a bubblegum dispenser for Gabriel, a Bratz accessory for Jannica, and a doll set for my goddaughter who was celebrating her third birthday today.

We headed to the venue, Buffet Square Garden on McPhillips. There were lots of celebrations taking place at the restaurant. We filled our stomachs to the rim. Yummy! What I love most at that resto is the sushi bar. Although, for me, nothing beats the sushi restaurants on Osborne Street and on Corydon Avenue.

...
The streets were still slippery, and this time wet and mucky, because the snow has melted. If winds blow over the night, the roads would surely be icy and slippery tomorrow morning.

Oh my! For sure, I'd be having again tomorrow morning the urge to call a taxicab instead of driving. But the thought of paying C$15 for the one-way fare would definitely energize my nerves. I would be driving very slow; the roads would be icy and slippery. I hope, I don't skid tomorrow; good that there would be fewer vehicles on the road because it's Sunday.

To many others, tomorrow is a weekend rest. Countless sleepyheads would surely be tucked under their warm blankets until late morning.

Not I.

To suppress your feelings is to imprison your spirit.

2008-11-06T21:04:00.003-06:00

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November 6, 2008
Thursday
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Life. Unpredictable. Very surprising--enough to surprise even oneself most of the times.

I'm honest with what I feel. Of course, like everyone, I too have my own deepest secrets, but to be able to express some which are less dark helps me ease the emotional burden that I sometimes feel.

If you will observe the millions of blog sites on the Internet right now, they show the generalization that most--if not all--human beings crave to be heard and noticed and to feel belonged. I'm one of those. Simple as that. I'm not a hypocrite, to say that I write personal experiences on the Internet without the desire to be read by others. They are my messages in a bottle, thrown aimlessly at the vast ocean of anonymity.

In self-redemption, I have also a positive purpose in doing this--aside from documenting my life for my own benefit and for posterity's sake--that is, to serve as an example to others that humans are very emotional and predictably unpredictable beings.

Just keep on expressing yourself. Don't hide behind a mask of anonymity. This is cowardice.

To conceal your identity is to be ashamed of your personality.

To suppress your feelings is to imprison your spirit.

Today, the first snowdrops of Winter fell. It rained as well. As always, on me the magic of whiteness cast its spell.

The missing 'n'.

2008-11-05T14:32:00.003-06:00

November 5, 2008
Wednesday
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Today is third day of my week off from work at Riverview Health Centre; although I worked an extra shift last Monday and would be working tomorrow for a coworker who exchanged a workday with me. That coworker, in turn, would be working next Tuesday for me.

The weather the past three days was great--meaning, it was less colder as what many people expect, considering that Winter is around the corner. I could still wear shorts the past days, especially that I'm driving anyway. Unlike when I was still commuting, because I was more exposed to the cold winds.

When I'm home, I usually just write articles for Filipino Journal, listen to music as always, cook, clean, watch films, read books, and be with Charina and the kids. Right now, I am editing articles submitted by writers for the newspaper. I enjoy this! Making love with words is such a warm experience. I suppose any writer would agree with me.

A few days ago I just finished the article for the second feature of my new column "Sa Ugoy ng Musika," and I'm really enjoying writing for this column of mine, because as many people know I'm a big music enthusiast--music of various genres.

Speaking of my new music column in Filipino Journal, I'm sharing with all of you right now the first feature, which appeared last month.

Filipino Journal is the leading Filipino-owned newspaper in Manitoba, Canada, where I live. It's been in publication for 22 years already, and I've been writing for it for almost three years now, and I was taken in as an associate editor by the publisher last March of this year.

So, here, the article I wrote for the first feature of my music column, "Sa Ugoy ng Musika," in Filipino Journal.

"Sa Ugoy ng Musika" feature #1: Elise Estrada: Climbing Up the Charts

2008-11-04T14:48:00.002-06:00

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Having been a passionate listener of music of various genres since the ’70s, I was able to acquire not only a diverse musical taste but also the ability to classify music according to widely accepted genres and listen to it multidimensionally.

To an ordinary listener, perhaps a song consists of only the vocals and the background music. A multidimensional listener, however, has the ability to dissect a song into the different instruments and melodies employed during the recording process. The multidimensional listener can hear not only the vocal tracks but also the bass lines, the layers of guitars, the keyboards, the beat of each drum unit, and whatever other instruments are present in the song. This is one reason ordinary listeners find listening to complex genres of music like Classical, Progressive Rock, and Metal difficult. To them, the various musical instruments playing in complement or in counterpoint with one another are a mere cacophony of sounds.

A true lover of music is someone who sets no boundaries, someone who tries to appreciate any genre. To him, a somber Folk ballad is as moving as an intense Punk Rock song. To him, no music is more hip than another. Everyone has his own favorite, but this should not stop him from trying to listen to other forms of music. Or if his ears couldn’t really comprehend the complexity and intensity of some songs, at least show respect by avoiding unfounded criticisms.

It’s been a while since I started receiving suggestions from young readers that I begin a music column. They wanted to be updated on new artists and album releases and to rediscover past musical works.

There is no better way to respond to these music lovers’ requests than to start a music column.

I am calling this column “Sa Ugoy ng Musika,” which will tackle not only albums, the songs and the artists, but more so overview of music genres. Admiring a song without crediting its artist is like appreciating the body but disregarding the soul. Listening to music without knowing about genres is swimming in the vast ocean of music.

I will feature mostly Filipinos, but I will also give space to non-Filipino artists once in a while. After all, “Music is a universal language that transcends boundaries and bonds people even thousands of miles apart.”

Elise Estrada: Climbing Up the Charts

Genre: Dance/Hip-hop/R&B
Album: Elise Estrada (2008, RockStar Music Corp.)
Web site: http://www.rockstarmusiccorp.com/elise

For my first feature, I am welcoming Elise Estrada: a Canadian-raised, Vancouver-based Filipino singer who is currently touring Canada to promote her self-titled debut album. The first single, “Insatiable” reached number 44 in Canadian Hot 100 (a music singles popularity chart issued weekly by Billboard magazine). Followup singles include “Unlove You,” “These Three Words,” and “Crash and Burn.” She has toured with the likes of Nelly, 50 Cent, and Girlicious.

Elise also became a beauty-pageant titleholder—Miss Vancouver in 2004.

I had the chance of interviewing Elise Estrada during her CD/autograph signing held on October 20 at shopgirl boutique located at 400 Academy Road.

According to Elise—who was born in 1987 in Marikina City, Philippines, and immigrated to Canada with his family when she was four—she started singing at the age of five, with the encouragement of her supportive parents, who are music enthusiasts themselves. Acknowledging the love of many Filipinos for karaoke/videoke singing, Elise said that she began to find her singing voice by listening to and singing songs by Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, and Michael Jackson—artists she regards as major influences. She cited also Beyoncé, Regine Velasquez, and Vina Morales as artists whom she admires.

Determined and persistent, Elise pursued her passion by joining singing competitions like Pinoy Pop Superstar (2006) and Vancouver’s The Beat 94.5’s annual talent search (2007).

Like many artists before her, Elise started her career by singing other artists’ songs, but she didn’t stop there. She persevered until she found the opportunity to record her first single and finally her own album. “After I did Pinoy Pop Superstar, that’s when we [my family and I] decided to take it to the next level, so I auditioned for The Beat, the radio station based in Vancouver that produced my first single….”

Since that she has little contribution to the album in terms of songwriting, I asked if she’s planning to write songs for her next album. “It’s something I’m definitely working on,” assured Elise. “There’s a difference between writing a good song and writing a hit song, and I’m not exactly at that level yet; but…but I’m working on it.”

To other aspiring artists who dream also of making their marks in the music industry, Elise has this to say: “If it’s something that you really love to do and are passionate about, then keep doing it; and work hard, and everything will fall into place…and make sure you do it for the right reasons.”

Elise Estrada signs autographs for her fans who dropped by to see her at shopgirl boutique owned by the young Filipino-Chinese entrepreneur Cyrile Ong.

Finally, I asked Elise how she is able to infuse her Filipino heritage into her works. “I let people know that I am Filipino. I mean, I think that’s one thing. Also, even the way I talk, the way I look, I don’t try to change anything. I think being Filipino makes me different, and it’s something to be proud of.”

At 21, with hard-earned wit and talent, and with a newly released album, Elise Estrada is definitely making her mark internationally—something that others can emulate and surely be proud of.

Acknowledgment
Thanks to Cyrile Ong, the owner of shopgirl boutique, for accommodating us during my interview session with Elise Estrada and for letting me interview her as well, the result of which merits a separate article.

To the Wave of Music #1: The Lotus Eaters - 'No Sense of Sin'

2008-11-03T16:35:00.012-06:00

November 3, 2008
Monday
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As I said in my last blog entry, I started last month my third column in the newspaper Filipino Journal. I called it "Sa Ugoy ng Musika," in which I will be writing about music genres, bands, other artists, album reviews, and personal stories expressing how music has affected me.

I also mentioned that, in 2006, I started eLf ideas Multiply site, primarily to share music with fellow music enthusiasts. Many Multiplyers post albums on their sites, and many of these people write also short reviews of these albums. What sets me apart from the lot of them, I think, is my penchant to share my personal story about a particular song or album or band. This way, I am able to share with fellow music enthusiasts how music has enhanced my views in general. Like, for instance, for me, life without music is life without memories.

In view of my music column and my album postings on Multiply, I thought of posting here on eLf ideas blogspot the music/album reviews I posted on Multiply.

I am giving this series of music postings the title "To the Wave of Music."

Here's my first entry for the series. I wrote this originally on January 2008 for my Multiply site .

The Lotus Eaters - No Sense of Sin [1984]

German Girl
Love Still Flows
Can You Keep a Secret?
Out on Your Own
Put Your Touch on Love
Too Young
Set Me Apart
You Fill Me with Need
The First Picture of You
Alone of All Her Sex
When You Look at Boys
Start of the Search

Cover sleeve of the debut album of the English band The Lotus Eaters, released in 1984; the cover features vocalist Peter Coyle and guitarist Jeremy Kelly, the primary members of the group

The first picture below was my highschool graduation picture taken in 1988. Yes, even back in those days, I was already sporting a New Wave look reminiscent of Jeremy Kelly's famous The Lotus Eaters days hairstyle. The second picture was taken two years ago, in 2006, a hairstyle inspired by Jeremy Kelly of The Lotus Eaters and Robert Smith of The Cure. More than 20 years had passed since I discovered New Wave and donned the fashion and style, yet I remain practically the same New Wave enthusiast I used to be, mellowed a bit but very passionate all the same.

For my first music posting, no album is more befitting my music taste than this one: No Sense of Sin by The Lotus Eaters, the original version released in 1984 on Arista Records.

I'm sure that many New Wave aficionados already have a copy of this album in their collection, because I believe that one is not a legitimate New Waver if s/he has not at least some songs from this album.

In 1985, the year I first immersed myself in a blossoming Alternative Rock music of the '80s which was New Wave, "German Girl" was the first song that imprinted a lasting impression on my mind. In fact, a cassette tape of this album was the first ever album that I bought with my own money from my school allowance. Secondly, guitarist Jeremy Kelly was the first musical icon whose hairstyle I imitated (second was Robert Smith and Ian McCulloch, and next was Dave Gahan). Besides, many friends and acquaintances always told me that I have a facial resemblance with Jeremy Kelly.

Then, when The Lotus Eaters went to the Philippines in 2001 for the promotion of their long-awaited followup album, I got to meet Jem personally. Actually a few years before that gig Jem and I had already been corresponding with each other through e-mail, so when he first saw me at their promo gig at MusicOne in Glorietta, he immediately recognized me. And he himself told me that he thought I looked like him when he was in his teens. I dropped by again at their promo appearance at Q in Rockwell. Jem personally gave me a backstage access to the concert proper and invited me to the after-party. In fact, Jem's girlfriend was the one who took my friend and former bandmate Carol Pobre and me from the concert venue to the club where the after-party was held. Just having the chance to see Jem and Pete in person was a dream come true. So surreal!

Jeremy Kelly and I, in 2001 at the record store MusicOne at Glorietta Shopping Center in Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines; I with other Lotus Eaters fans who approached me to ask if they could have a picture taken with me

There! That's how special to my life The Lotus Eaters and their music. My highschool days and mid-'80s summer days were incomplete without them and their music, which I played almost every day.

To The Lotus Eaters, especially to Jem and Pete, thank you very much for your music.

My two most favorite songs from The Lotus Eaters are "Too Young" and "Start of the Search."

Discography:
No Sense of Sin (1984, Arista); re-released in 1998 by BMG Japan with 10 bonus tracks
silentspace (2001, Vinyl Japan)

Listen to the entire album on eLf ideas Multiply.

I remain a lit'terariat.

2008-11-03T15:12:00.008-06:00

November 3, 2008
Monday

This week is a week-off from my work at Riverview Health Centre, but I picked up an extra shift today, doing the morning shift. As soon as I got home, I ate lunch and then logged on to finish the articles for my columns in Filipino Journal. In the middle of researching and polishing the articles, a spark of inspiration to visit this blogspot of mine suddenly ignited.

Never did abandon
As I wrote in a recent entry, I have not totally abandoned this precious blogspot of mine, especially that this blogspot contains the bulk of my writings during the toughest years of my life in Canada (2003 - 2006).

I remain a lit'terariat.

Many people might think that, just because I no longer write actively on this blogspot (reduced to, at least, one entry per month) that I have long ago rested my literary pen. That is not the case. I may be currently inactive on my eLf ideas blogspot, but I never ceased to write. I simply turned to and focused my literary energy on other venues.

In February 2006, Filipino Journal--the leading Filipino newspaper here in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada--published my first article in its column "In Dis Korner," a column reserved for guest writers and contributors. After several articles, I was given my own column, "Sa Madaling Salita," in which I've been writing consistently ever since. In June 2006, in time for the celebration of Philippine Independence, I started my second column in Filipino Journal, "Engkanto Series," which serializes the Philippine Mythology / Fantasy Fiction book that I am hoping to finish. Late that year, the newspaper's publisher asked my assistance in editing portions of the newspaper, which I gladly accepted. When publisher Tita Linda Cantiveros died last March 2008, the husband, Tito Rod Cantiveros, asked me to be one of the two associate editors. I have been editing the newspaper since, while maintaining my columns. Last month, I started my third column, "Sa Ugoy ng Musika," in which I am tackling music genres, bands, songs, and album releases.

Also in 2006, I have joined the Multiply site, on which, aside from sharing some of my favorite music albums (with personal background stories) to fellow music enthusiasts, I've also been blogging there once in a while.

So, you see, my literary pen has not run out of ink after all.

In view of all these, and since that I feel at-home the most when writing on my eLf ideas blogspot, I have thought of being active here once more. I said it a number of times already, but I will try. Again.

Also, since that I feel that articles I post on this blogspot tend to have more readers compared with those I post on Multiply, I will start posting here the articles that I wrote for Filipino Journal and those that I posted on my Multiply site, in addition to my regular and usual postings.

Back again
Okay, I now have to go back to where I started today--finish my articles for the forthcoming issue of Filipino Journal.

P.S.:
My friend and former bandmate in Half Life Half Death 5'11'' Bb. Pilipinas '95 Carol Pobre, the female voice in our song "High School (Life)," who also became a professional ramp model and worked as a flight stewardess, and who have long been working at Shell in the Philippines, who to this day remains a hardcore Punk Rocker at heart--whew!--is one of those who keep on bugging me to reactivate this blogspot of mine.

Lorac, thank you! As Rain said, the thought that there is one person who reads what you write should be enough reason to keep you writing. A spark is a spark, enough to ignite a million inspirational goosebumps.

I am now the master

2008-09-25T00:04:00.005-05:00

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Guilty as charged! Yes, I now belong to the countless number of bloggers who started prolifically but then faded away in a seeming oblivion, usually because of the new developments in one's life, as well as of his/her gradual change of priorities and focus on new extracurricular activities.

But at least, I can say that--before I somewhat faded out--I was able to document so many things and stories about my life as well as my observations of the things and of the people around me especially during my first three years in Canada--2003-2006--the period when I was still taking care of my now-late Grandfather--the toughest years of my life--the years I felt I was already giving up--I was really at my lowest point. I lost my self-esteem and self-confidence, and I spent so many sleepless nights.

But that period has since left me for good. I hope.

However, so many changes in my life also took place. Changes which made many people happy, but also which made some sad and hurt. But what can I do? I am only human--a holistic creature operated by both his mental/intellectual and emotional faculties.

Grandfather's death in July 2006 was both a sad and a happy day for me. I lost a bestfriend and a companion but I regained my freedom.

Only about two months after Grandfather's demise, I already landed a job--I mean, jobs! On the same day, I got hired by an A&W Restaurant as a crew member and by a health and home care agency as a health care aide or nursing assistant.

I resigned from the A&W after five months. I was enjoying my stay there, but of course, that job was only a stepping stone for me. I felt that that kind of job is only for working students. I mean, I am a registered nurse in my home country, the Philippines, so focusing on my other job I believe was the better choice. Thus, I concentrated on being a health care aide. After only one year of working for the agency, sending me most of the times to Riverview Health Centre, I resigned. For a better reason. I was offered a position at Riverview Health Centre. I grabbed the opportunity. I got hired. Now I have been with RHC for about a year now. And I'm enjoying my job--good pay too! I still need to take the nursing refresher course to be able to challenge the nursing licensure exam here in Manitoba. I might pursue it next year. I am not yet ready and inclined to do it.

I have been writing for the newspaper Filipino Journal for about three years now! And also, early this year, the publisher took me as one of its two associate editors. I could never ask for more. Really? Not. Hahaha! Of course, I will always ask for more dreams to fulfill. Dreams never end. And as I said, I'm only human.

After about six months of driving almost every day, with my Mazda 5 mini minivan, I could say that I'm a good driver now--confident and responsible and cool-headed.

I'm not yet married, but I have been living in with my girlfriend of two years whom I met here. She has three children from her previous marriage. I know, I know. Many people, especially those who are "concerned" about my well-being, would surely disapprove of it. But, I don't care.

If there's one thing that I'm greatly enjoying right now, considering the difficulties and tough life that I went through during my 'caregiver' days, it is this:

I am now living my life on my own accord. Almost everything that I have accomplished here in Canada, I owe to no one but myself. I worked hard for it. I was the one who really looked for jobs and I found jobs. I worked hard, prompting the hospital I'm working at now to hire me. I bought my Mazda 5 without the help of a co-maker or assistance from anyone. I am buying things with my own hard-earned money.

Yes, I am happy now.

But I have to admit it. I am never the same. I mean, the pains which I endured and scars I acquired during my miserable years remain in my heart. No matter how hard I try to forget, I just couldn't. Perhaps this is the reason I find difficulty in keeping in touch with the relatives with whom I stayed when Grandfather was still alive. Because, every time I see them or go to their houses, memories come flooding back. I feel like I'm somewhat reduced again to the worthless and penniless forsaken grandson. So, they couldn't blame me if I kind of lost the affection to and affinity with them. I call them once in a while, and that's it.

Some might say that my words and actions will surely hurt them. But, what about my life back then? I was terribly hurt, but no one really cared.

Now, are you gonna blame me?

Guilty or not guilty, I no longer care.

I am now the captain of my soul and the master of my fate!

Creep, creep, creep...

2008-08-09T14:06:00.002-05:00

August 9, 2008
Saturday

Here I creep, creep, creep
Trying to peep, peep, peep
At myself from a distance
At my life from out of the box
At my current circumstance
The quick dog outran the lazy fox

There are so many reasons
For a single action
For a single decision
I live for the here and now
More than for the there and then

Today is Saturday
Off from work

Tomorrow is Sunday
Yet I have to go to work

But that's okay
I don't complain

Let me see...

Star Wars: Clone Wars, there we come...August 15

Do I need to explain myself?

2008-04-18T03:39:00.003-05:00

April 18, 2008 (Friday)
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Almost two years have passed since I was last active with blogging on this blogspot of mine. There also came a time when I had to lend my literary pen to a loyal follower of mine just to let him continue documenting bits of my adventures and misadventures.

Yeah, I've been busy with work and with other important activities like writing regularly for a Canadian newspaper. But I know that this is not the real reason of my having lost the prolificacy in writing here on my blog.

The real deal is, I was in the previous months still trying to rebuild my self-confidence after having broken up with someone important. I sort of put my self in exile, hoping that things would cool off. The decision that I made hurt many people, but what could I do? I realize once more that I am after all a human like everyone like you who is reading this right now. But don't get me wrong. I don't mean that I am saying that I made a wrong decision.

I just followed what my heart and mind really wanted. I just did what I know will make me happy and comfortable. Many people felt disappointed in what I did. Many were hurt. Many were surprised. Many perhaps even hated me for it. But...

Fvck it! This is my life. I will do whatever I think and feel will make me happy and better. If in a few years from now another great change in my life will occur, well, that should not come as a surprise anymore, simply because life after all is full of unexpected twists and turns.

What is most important in the end is, I stand by whatever decision in life I make. And in making these decisions, the person best benefited is myself.

Selfish?

Yes, you may say that; but who's not selfish anyway?

Even the most generous person in the world is selfish if you will think about it, simply because s/he gives so much to others primarily because s/he wants to feel good about her/himself.

Let's cut the bull. People who help help because they want other people to know that they help other people.

Therefore, am I back with blogging? Let's see.

I'm still mustering the courage to continue where I left off in this blogspot of mine. So, it's still premature to say that the eLf is back.

But however which way, I will always just be around one corner of this tangled web of Internet connections.

Oops, why am I explaining myself anyway? Oh well. What the heck. I'm just like anybody else, in the sense that we try to let people understand the whys behind the whats in our lives.

Farewell, Tita Linda Cantiveros

2008-03-11T03:07:00.004-05:00

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Rosalinda Natividad-Cantiveros, or Tita Linda to many of her younger friends and acquaintances, the publisher and chief editor of Filipino Journal, for which I am a columnist, the previous president of Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba, as well as a longtime pillar of the Filipino community in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, always active in many Filipino and multicultural activities, admired by a great number of people--Filipinos or non-Filipinos--sadly, has passed away last March 4, 2008, because of cancer. She was declared cancer-free for five years, but the dreaded disease came back late last year.

I was glad that I phoned her sometime in February, about 2 weeks before she passed away, to ask how she'd been, because I learned from Tito Rod, her husband, that Tita Linda was hospitalized in December. She was still okay during our conversation, in which we talked about her plans for the newspaper, that she'd be needing again my help in the editorial. Although, her voice already betrayed her weakness and tiredness.

Tita Linda even apologized for failing to set up a get-together for the Filipino Journal staff last December, promising that we--FJ family--would just have the gathering come Spring.

Sadly, her last leaf fell in the last days of Winter, without having the chance to greet and kiss the new blossoms of Spring.

I met Tita Linda in 2005, during a welcome party for new Immigrants regularly held at PCCM. My Tita Lucy told me that she was the publisher of Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino newspaper in Manitoba. I approached her and asked her if I could have some of my articles published in the newspaper. She told me to submit samples of my writing, which I duly did. After less than a month, she phoned to inform me that she liked my writing style.

And the rest was history, so to speak. I finally became a regular staff of the newspaper, maintaining two columns which I myself conceptualized--"Sa Madaling Salita" and the Engkanto series.

I, Charitess Naval, PCCM's Executive Director Jean Guiang, and the late Rosalinda Natividad-Cantiveros, during the viewing of my late maternal grandfather, Conrado Lanuza Vera Sr., in July 2006, at Knysh Funeral Homes.

All I can say is, Tita Linda had been very supportive of my ideas. She remains to be one of the few persons in Canada whom I personally look up to.

Tita Linda, you will live forever, in the memory of every person whose life you'd touch one time or another.

I will remain an instrumental part of Filipino Journal.

Mahilig Ka Ba sa Showbiz?

2008-02-01T22:31:00.000-06:00

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(published in the December 5-20, 2007, issue of Filipino Journal, a Winnipeg-based newspaper)

Aminin mo na! Huwag ka nang magpa-sosyál. H’wag kang mag-alala; hindi kita lalaitin o pagtatawanan. Wag ka nang mahiya na malaman ng buong mundo na mahilig ka sa showbiz, o di kaya’y meron kang iniidolo o minsang hinangaang mga artista—Mary Walter; Ric Rodrigo; Walter Navarro; Dondon Nakar; Nora Aunor; Dolphy; Low-Waist Gang; Niño Muhlach; Bentot; Pepsi Paloma; Tetchie Agbayani; Julie Vega; Wengweng; Palito; Cachupoy; Panchito; Kuya Germs; Regal Babies; Liberty Boys; Tito, Vic & Joey; Streetboys; Robin Padilla; Andrew E; Freddie Aguilar; Viva Hotbabes; The Hunks; Ann Curtis; o Heart Evangelista?

Ching Nolasco-Calayag, FJ columnist aLfie vera mella, and Charina Corbillon with Filipino stars Piolo Pascual, Marietta "Pokwang" Subong, Sam Milby, and Pinoy Dream Academy participant Kristoffer Abrenica of Winnipeg; October 26, 2007, postconcert dinner at Buffet Square

Haynaku, kung ililista ko ang lahat ng mga artistang Filipino—mula noong tambalang Carmen Rosales at Rogelio dela Rosa ng 1950s, Gloria Romero at Eddie Gutiérrez ng ’60s, Guy & Pip ng ’70s, Dina Bonnevie at Alfie Anido ng ’80s, Judy Ann Santos at Wowee de Guzman ng ’90s, hanggang sa kasalukuyang loveteam nina Toni Gonzaga at Sam Milby—e siguradong kukulangin ang isang buong issue ng Filipino Journal.

Peek at the Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous

Nothing is embarrassing or degrading about having a keen interest in showbusiness happenings, or about idolizing (or should I say, admiring) particular artists—whether actors or musicians. This interest is a natural human tendency—a hidden desire to peep into the kaleidoscopic lifestyles of the so-called rich and famous, or the need to find personal icons who will inspire us on our own endeavors or who will personify our own aspirations and realize our fantasies. Yes, nothing is wrong with all these, as long as this “stargazing”—just like any other preoccupation—does not affect us in a negative way. For instance, we should not find ourselves spending our meal budget on concert tickets, prioritizing TV shows over homework and other chores, or worst, emulating the misdemeanors or extravagant spending habits of such public figures.

Not Only Filipinos

I usually hear comments that mock the fondness of many Filipinos for movie stars, telenovelas, loveteams, and other showbiz-related stuff. On one hand, this is true, but nothing should be surprising about it. Every country has its own version of Hollywood, and this only means that showbiz is a lucrative business; and without patronizers there would be no showbiz at all. Therefore, showbiz and fans exist in every corner of the world, not only in the Filipino culture.

Haven’t you seen on TV the number of North Americans who go gaga every time the search for the next American Idol or Canadian Idol is on? Ever heard of Bollywood – obviously India’s version of Hollywood? Didn’t you know that Korean telenovelas are popular not only in the Philippines but also in other Asian countries? Here in Canada, have you tried watching MuchMoreMusic and see how many screaming fans gather around the music television’s homebase in Toronto, Ontario, every time Rockstars like Avril Lavigne and Nelly Furtado are in the house? Moreover, if we include sports as a part of showbusiness, then we should have to include the throngs of jersey-clad Canadians who talk endlessly about hockey or football whenever either sport is in season. Basketball or curling fan, anyone?

In the mid-’90s, with a Viva Records–produced album on our sleeves, I and my former band Half Life Half Death had the chance to trot alongside some of the popular Philippine stars of the decade: Regine Velasquez, Michelle van Eimeren, Jaimie Rivera, and Pops Fernandez.

The Hollywood Syndrome

In every culture exists a social phenomenon which I will call the Hollywood syndrome – the need of a society to identify with so-called social icons, or famous personalities (even infamous ones, and not necessarily movie stars) whose lives have become—for whatever reason—public items or commodities, making them powerful and influential but also exposed and vulnerable at the same time. To ordinary people, these public figures serve as role models, realizers of fantasies, shock absorbers of angst and frustrations, scapegoats or objects for displaced emotions, and epitomes of the best and the worst. They are admired, adored, loved, ridiculed, scorned, scrutinized, and regarded for any public act of compassion or blamed for any simple misdeed and, worse, for the world’s moral deterioration.

After all, social icons have more and better means of pursuing what ordinary people can only fantasize about. We like watching our favorite stars walk on the red carpet of fame, with hundreds of fans indulgently screaming behind them. We like witnessing our favorite teams winning every game in flying colors. We love having the chance to peek at their extravagant lifestyles, hundred-acre estates, hoards of jewelry, priceless wardrobe and vehicle collection—expensive assets ordinary people only dream about. On other days, we may secretly enjoy seeing them fail in their relationships, break the law and find themselves incarcerated or at least publicly humiliated, self-destruct because of drug abuse and other excesses. Yes, we praise them for adopting a homeless dog yet curse them so easily for deciding to give the same dog away.

Why? So that when they are successful and able to achieve the seemingly unachievable, we may feel that indeed nothing is impossible, and that we too are capable of reaching the seemingly unreachable. So that when they succumb to their follies, wallow in their miseries, or drown in their failures and downfalls; we may feel less guilty of our own foolishness, less alone and lonely in our own sadness, and less pathetic and miserable with our own misfortunes.

Sa Madaling Salita

Ikaw, ako, sila, malamang lahat ng tao—anuman ang lahi o paniniwala—ay may satispaksyóng nakukuha sa larangan ng showbiz. Interesado tayong masubaybayan o masilip man lang ang buhay ng mga hinahangaan o kinamumuhiang mga personalidád—artista man ang mga ito o kilala sa ibang tanghalang gaya ng sports o pulitika…

Because we all need social icons who would mirror our own vanities and reflect our own follies.

Sino ang Bestfriend Mo Noon?

2007-12-28T21:20:00.000-06:00

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(written for my column "Sa Madaling Salita" in The Filipino Journal)

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

Sino ang Bestfriend Mo Noon?
by aLfie vera mella

Sigurado akong sasagutin mo ’yan nang nakangiti. Tiyak na magiging musmos kang muli at gugunitain ang iyong mga dating kalaro, o di kaya nama’y magmimistulang dalaga o binata at aalalahanin ang mga naging kasama sa kasiyahan at kalokohan. Malamang ang mga mukha at pangalan ng karamihan sa mga dating kaibigang iyan ay pawang mga imahe na lang sa iyong isipan.

Ang Pagpapanatili ng Ugnayan

Sa paglipas ng panahon, at sa patuloy na pagdagdag ng taon sa iyong edád at ng linya sa iyong noo, ang karamihan sa mga dating kaibigan ay unti-unti na ring kumukupas gaya ng kahapon. Marami sa kanila ay hindi mo na alam kung nasaan na at kung ano na ang nangyari sa kani-kanilang buhay. Kaya, ituring mong mapalad ang iyong sarili kung napanatili mo ang iyong koneksyon sa kahit ilan man lang sa kanila. Masuwerte ka nga dahil nabubuhay ka sa kasalukuyang panahon—kung kailang merong telepono at Internet. Milya-milya man ang inyong distansya, may mga paraan pa rin para mapanatili ang ugnayan sa isa’t isa.

Subalit, bakit pa? Meron ka na namang mga bagong kaibigan, di ba? Bakit hinahanap-hanap mo pa rin sila? Ano ba ang mapapala mo sa pagpapanatili ng inyong koneksyon? Ano ba ang naitutulong nito sa iyong pagkatao?

Ang Hindi Lumingon sa Pinanggalingan

Ang pagpapanatili ng koneksyon sa mga dating kaibigan ay isang halimbawa lang ng “paglingon sa pinanggalingan.” Dahil sa patuloy o paminsan-minsang pakikipag-ugnayan sa kanila, para mo na ring binabalikan ang iyong pagkamusmos o pagkabata. Hindi ba’t ang sarap makipagkuwentuhan sa mga dating kaibigan, lalo na kung ang inyong paksa ay tungkol sa nakaraang pinagsamahan? Dahil sa pagbabalik-tanaw na gaya n’yan, natatanto mo kung gaano na nga ba kalayo ang iyong nalakbay, kung gaano na kataas ang iyong naabot, at kung malaki na nga ba ang ipinagbago mo at ng iyong buhay, at kung ang dulot ba ng mga pagbabagong iyan ay ang pagkakaroon mo ng mas mabuting pagkatao.

Ang Ilan sa mga Nawala Ay P’wede Pa Ring Mahanap
Maraming dahilan kumbakit napuputol ang pagkakaibigánan. Ang mga sumusunod ay ilan lamang sa mga ito—paglipat ng tirahan, pangingibang-bayan o -bansa, paglipat ng eskwela o pinagtatrabahuhan, unti-unting pagkakaiba ng mga hilig o dating pinagkakaabalahan, pagkakaroon ng bagong mga kaibigan, o pagkakaroon na ng kanya-kanyang pamilya.

Subalit, meron man kayong mga kanya-kanya nang buhay, kung nasa inyong mga puso pa rin ang pinagsamahan at nananatili pa rin ang pagtingin sa isa’t isa, sigurado akong mapananatili ninyo ang inyong ugnayan. Simple lang ang katapat n’yan—tawag sa telepono, sulat o e-mail, o pagsasalu-salo o pagkikita-kita sa t’wing magkakaroon ng pagkakataon.

Bestfriends for Life
I always consider myself lucky because I was able to keep my connection with many friends originating from the early years of my life—bestfriends such as Roderick “Derrick” Periodico, Jonathan “Jon” Mejino, Rainald “Rain” Paggao, and Ruperto “Pet” de Jesus. Each of us may now be living in another country, have his own family, or be busy with his career and current preoccupations, yet we still take time to call, write or e-mail each other, and catch up with the lives of one another.

I met Derrick in 1978. We first became classmates in Grade Two, at St. Mary’s Academy in Pasay City. In elementary, we both liked DC and Marvel Comics and illustrating our favorite superheroes; in high school and thereafter, we both became enthusiasts of Rock music. We last saw each other at SM Megamall in 2003, days before I left the Philippines. We e-mail each other once in a while.

Jon, Pet, and I went to the same elementary school, and we became classmates in high school, at Santa Clara Parish School in Pasay City. Our penchant for New Wave music was one of the chief bonds that glued us all the way through our adult lives. Jon immigrated to the US in 1992, Pet to France in 1999, but to this day we remain in regular communication. In 2003 to 2004, when I was still in Vancouver, British Columbia, Jon visited me twice, driving all the way from his home in Seattle, Washington.

I met Rain in fourth-year high school. Our common passion for music, poetry, and philosophy drew us together; eventually we with Jon and Pet and a few other schoolmates formed a band, which made us all virtually inseparable for so many years. Despite the accessibility of e-mail communication, Rain, now a district lawyer, and I never fail to send each other postal letters and share each other’s literary works and philosophical ponderings the way we used to do.

There are still other souls in our fellowship of friends; too many stories to tell, so many memories to recall, but most important of all, no matter how old all of us are now, we remain the same young chaps every time we get the chance to be with each other, even if only in spirits. We always remember the humble beginnings of our enduring friendships.

Sa Madaling Salita

Sa bawat dekada na iyong nilagpasan…sa bawat lugar na tinirhan, pinirmihan, at pamamalagian sa mga susunod pang kabanata ng iyong buhay, magkakaroo’t magkakaroon ka ng bagong mga kaibigan at kakilala. Subalit, wala pa ring papantay sa mga kaibigang nakilala mo noong iyong kabataan, silang mga halos kapatid na naging karamay mo sa lungkot at ligaya, kasiyahan at kalokohan. Sila ang lubos na nakakikilala kung sino kang talaga.

Here I blog, therefore here I still am

2007-11-30T01:08:00.000-06:00

November 30, 2007

Friday

I started this blog site in October 2004, through the encouragement of friends like Noreen Capili, Andrea Duerme, and Derrick Periodico, who began theirs long before I did mine. I was able to pay the encouragement forward by inspiring a number of other friends to start their own blog sites--friends like, oh well, no need to mention their names; they know who they are.

I used to write in this blog site practically every day, until the last half of 2006, when I finally became busy with my newfound jobs here in Canada.

That chapter of my blog writing was really something--it was inspiring, self-analyzing, exciting, and self-serving in the sense that I got to document important chapters of my life, as well as document many newly created poetry, essays, and personal thoughts about many things, trivial or controversial or intellectual. I became even more proficient and prolific in my writing.

These days, I somehow lost the enthusiasm in blog writing simply because my jobs took a large portion of my leisure time. But don't get me wrong, I love my jobs--working as a health care provider at a hospital pays the bills and my hobbies and keeping consistent with my columns at The Filipino Journal, a Filipino-oriented newspaper based here in Winnipeg, keeps myself closely in touch with the literatus in me.

Of course, I still love blog writing. If only I have much time in my hand just like I used to during my first years in Canada, then I would have been writing still in my blog site every day.

For the meantime, however, to compensate for my failure to blog-write prolifically, I just upload music of my favorite artists on my Multiply site. Also, I regularly post there photographs that I take. Photography is another pastime of mine. I'm not great at it, but I simply enjoy taking pictures of stuff I like. I also take pictures for the purpose of documenting and capturing moments in my life, scenes which otherwise would have been lost in the busy buzzy blur of the quick passing of time and events.

Yeah, I am back! I found the courage once again to write myself, without the employ of a loyal follower. I filled my pen with indelible ink once again.

Adorable - "Glorious"

Halloween Snow & Books Galore

2007-11-01T01:10:00.000-05:00

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October 31, 2007
Wednesday

Winter has indeed come. The first Winter snow fell this afternoon. Last year, it fell in the second week of November. Early arrival, early departure? I hope.

eLf went to work today, wearing his Halloween vest.

Books eLf bought this month included the following:

True Crime
The End of the Dream, Ann Rule

Fantasy Fiction
Giant Bones, Peter S. Beagle
Tamsin, Peter S. Beagle
Blood Wars Trilogy Book 3: Planar Powers, J. Robert King
DragonLance: Lost Histories Vol. II: The Irda, Linda P. Baker
DragonLance: Lost Histories Vol. III: The Dargonesti, Paul B. Thompson & Tonya Cook
The Worm Ouroboros, E.R. Eddison
The Zimiamvian Trilogy Book 1: Mistress of Mistresses, E.R. Eddison
The Zimiamvian Trilogy Book 2: A Fish Dinner in Memison, E.R. Eddison
The Zimiamvian Trilogy Book 3: The Mezentian Gate, E.R. Eddison
The Magic Kingdom Landover Book 1: Magic Kingdom For Sale: Sold!, Terry Brooks
The Magic Kingdom Landover Book 2: The Black Unicorn, Terry Brooks
The Magic Kingdom Landover Book 3: Wizard at Large, Terry Brooks
A Series of Unfortunate Events Books 1 to 8 & 10, Lemony Snickets

Classic Literature
The Alexandria Quartet Book 1: Justine, Lawrence Durrell
The Alexandria Quartet Book 2: Balthazar
The Alexandria Quartet Book 3: Mountolive
The Alexandria Quartet Book 4: Clea
The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis

Finally, eLf was able to purchase a lot of 184 Sweet Dreams books! on eBay, for a reasonable deal.

Book shops eLf recommends:
Aqua Books (Princess Street)
Book Fair (Portage Avenue)
Black's Books (Portage Avenue)
Burton Lysecki (Osborne Avenue)
Nerman's Books (Osborne Avenue)
Red River Books (Arthur Street)

The Return of the Bibliophilist

2007-10-12T13:44:00.000-05:00

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October 12, 2007 (Friday)

After a few months of putting his books aside, eLf is back on reading voraciously again. Also, He's embarked on scouting again used-books shops around the city. In just a matter of weeks, he has amassed a number of books to add to his precious collection. Here are some books he'd recently bought, many of which I am yet to start reading (Yes, little does eLf know, I sneak in his library once in a while to "borrow" some books to ponder on) >;-):

Ann Rule's The Want-Ad Killer, The Lust Killer, The I-5 Killer, and Dead by Sunset - My sister Lovelle was the one who influenced me into reading books under the True Crime genre. I'm now on a mission to complete Ann Rule's bibliography. So far, I've already 17 books, which is less than halfway to completing Ann Rule.

Denise Chong's The Concubine's Children - eLf has become a fan of memoir books ever since he had read The Diary of Anne Frank more than a decade ago. This book by Chong is another gem among memoirs written by Chinese authors. eLf places this one along with his books under the genre: Adeline Yen Mah's The Chinese Cinderella, (One Written Word Is Worth) A Thousand Pieces of Gold, and Falling Leaves (Return to Their Roots); Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club and The Hundred Secret Senses; and Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth. He recently found out on Wikipedia that Buck's The Good Earth is a third of The House of Earth trilogy, the second and third of which are Sons and A House Divided. He is yet to acquire copies of these sequels.

Albert Camus' The Outsider - the book which, accordingly, inspired the musician Robert Smith into writing his band The Cure's song "Killing an Arab." At last, eLf read it! The book's style and manner of telling reminded him of J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye; especially the cockiness of the main protagonists. Also, Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus.

Lawrence Durrell's The Alexandria Quartet (Justine, Balthazar, Clea, Mountolive) and Prospero's Cell. eLf never knew about Durrell only until years ago when he stumbled upon a very lovely quotation from Justine: "We are the children of our landscape; it dictates behavior and even thought in the measure to which we are responsive to it."

Milan Kundera's The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.

Terry Brooks's The Heritage of Shannara tetralogy.

Books 1 (The Singer) & 2 (The Song) of Calvin Miller's trilogy. Unfortunately, Book 3 (The Finale) was missing! Another title to include on my books-to-hunt. Fortunately, just a couple of days ago, eLf was finally able to purchase the final book on eBay!

Og Mandino's The Greatest Miracle in the World.

eLf will be starting to collect once again the Sweet Dreams books of the '80s. Remember them? They were among his very first influences into reading pocketbooks. (Mine, too!) Unfortunately, they're elusive. He couldn't find them in any of the several book shops that he regularly visits. His last hope, for sure, is eBay. He already found some sellers, but he is yet to start on bidding.

Music
New album releases:
Siouxsie Sioux debut solo, Manta Ray
The Cult Born into This
Duran Duran Red Carpet Massacre

Slated for release next year:
The Cure, thirteenth studio album

Anyway, all these for now. I'll just be writing more about whatever is making eLf busy these cold days.

A Dead Blogger?

2007-08-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

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August 20, 2007
Monday

eLf was working in the Special Needs Unit of Riverview Health Centre. During break time I saw him reading a copy of Winnipeg Free Press. The title of the article was "Dead Blogs." This was about the millions of blog sites started ardently by individuals and then left and forgotten for good, primarily because of having become busy with more pressing matters and most likely having burned out. I saw the guilt in eLf's eyes. Yeah, eLf ideas blog site has been inactive for quite a long time already. In fact, I tried to save it by updating on his behalf once in a while. But, admittedly and understandably, I am just a second rate. I can never copy the passion and the brilliant flare for writing once exhibited and shared with us by eLf through this blog site. I think it's time for eLf to reactivate eLf ideas blog site; if not, this will join the millions of blog sites which, according to the article, have become litters of the Web--the dotsams and netsams of the world wide web.

So, for the meantime eLf is still contemplating on whether or not to continue writing on this blog site again, I will try to keep this "ghost writing" as regularly as I possibly could. Of course, I too have my own life to tackle.

Okay, let me see. Some divulgable significant updates about eLf...

Writing
He continues to maintain two columns in The Filipino Journal, the leading Filipino-community newspaper here in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada--"Sa Madaling Salita," features articles about Philippine Culture, and the Engkanto series, the serialization of eLf's soon-to-be-published fantasy book Engkanto: A Bestiary of Philippine Mythical Beings Book One: Bantay-Katubigan.

Music
He and his musical collaborator Emong Payaso began working on a new song, "Fireflies." They opted to use a new appellation, perhaps The Wizard & the eLf, or The Minstrel & the eLf, or something along this line; primarily because haLf man haLf eLf is really eLf's outfit when performing live, the members of which does not include Emong Payaso. So, it is just fitting that Emong and he record using a different name. After they finish "Fireflies," the duo might finally pursue the two new projects which they have been contemplating on recording since last year--their versions of Half Life Half Death's "Kapalarang K'wago" and Yoyoy Villame's "Magellan."

eLf is already excited to see the DVD of the Mike Hanopol concert which took place last August 11, at Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba, because the performance of his band haLf man haLf eLf was above average. They played four songs: "Just like Heaven" by The Cure, "Nagpapapansin, Pansinin" by Urban Bandits, "High School (Life) by Half Life Half Death, and "Susi" by The Dawn.

Work
Last July marked eLf's one-year anniversary working as a health care aide for a health and home care agency. Among the institutions the agency has been sending him to, Riverview Health Centre remains to be his preference. At last, a month ago, one of the patient care managers asked him to apply for an opening, and the manager personally asked for his resume. After a week, he was called for the interview, in which he did well, according to the manager and the interviewer. To make the story short, the human resources department called him last week to tell him that he got the position. eLf had long been eyeing a position there at the institution. Finally he got it. Patience, once again, paid off. Of course, hard work and commendable performance are big factors as always. He still wants to pursue his nursing career. But, as eLf used to say to himself: "One step at a time."

For the meantime, he is excited. September is near. The concert of The Cure that he would be watching in Toronto is on September 27, 2007.

Books
eLf is back in reading books on a regular basis. He is near to finishing a trilogy, the Lucas Aliens Chronicles: The Golden One, The Crimson Claw, and The Crystal Eye by Deborah Chester. He's on the third book (The Crystal Eye) already. He is yet to purchase a copy of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. He prefers trade paperback editions.

Weather
' starting to get chilly here in Winnipeg. Brrr! Winter is looming. Oh well...

Lastly
eLf! for the deities' sake. Start taking over your blog site again. Don't expect me to cover for you. I couldn't keep up. When will you be back?

According to the "Dead Blog" article, four factors determines a blog site's endurance: something to say, compelling way of saying it, readers that read it regularly, and the passion to write.

Don't make me start to believe that you lack one or more of these factors. I've been a believer. I know you're better than just a "dead blogger"!

Mike Hanopol Aug. 11 gig in Winnipeg

2007-08-17T13:44:00.000-05:00

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Mike Hanopol
In my point of view, the concert was successful, primarily because Mike Hanopol--with the help of the local musicians who backed him up--was able to perform and deliver many of his hits in a superb manner--technically and passionately speaking. Hanopol, now a born-again pastor, also took the opportunity to preach his newfound belief to the audience. Anyway, back to music, he rendered such hits as "Mr. Kenkoy," "Bayan ni Juan," "Buhay Musikero," and, of course, "Laki sa Layaw, Jeproks," and a few cuts from his latest album, 'Lagablab.' The only two remarks he uttered that turned me off were, first, he slighted Pepe Smith when he told the crowd that, back in the days of Juan Dela Cruz Band, while he was focused on writing their music, Smith was busy indulging himself on the "you know what." I think this was Hanopol's attempt to emphasize that he was the chief songwriter of their erstwhile band--good intention yet left a bad taste. And considering that he is now a reformed Christian--as what he claimed to be--negative comments like that, especially about former friends or colleagues, is surprising and unethical. Next, in an attempt to distinguish himself from the so-called singers of the music industry ("singers," meaning, people who simply sing what composers give to them or just cover other people's songs), Hanopol presented a quite myopic view: He declared that singers/songwriters like himself, Freddie Aguilar, and Rey Valera are already endagered species. I refute Hanopol on this premise. This simply reveals that Hanopol is no longer in touch with the happenings of the music scene in the Philippines; for, if you're really a musician, you also care about what's happening in the scene, enough for you to know that, since the '80s, there's always a pool of songwriters and legitimate artists (bands or soloists) who are able to compose their own materials. The Dawn, Identity Crisis, Urban Bandits, WUDS, Philippine Violators, Gelboys, Alamid, Rivermaya, Neocolours, Eraserheads, Siakol, Ogie Alcasid, Gary Valenciano, The April Boys, and a whole lot more--whether popular, underground, or untapped. So, don't give me that claim that Filipino songwriters are already endangered species. Better to claim is this--that the endangered species are not the songwriters but people who know how to crave for something original and not just renditions and other cover songs. There will always be out there tons of songwriters and bands who sing their own materials. All one needs to do to tap them is to indulge oneself in music.

haLf man haLf eLf
Considering that eLf's band got to practice properly only once (the night before the concert), they pulled their performance off with a blast! The eLf has always been a ruckus onstage, but that night I felt that they nailed it really deep. In tribute to Filipino Rock music, they played songs from Filipino bands which immensely influenced eLf's own musicality and passion to get involved in the band scene since the '80s. They played "Nagpapapansin, Pansinin" by Urban Bandits, "Susi" by The Dawn, and "High School (Life)" by eLf's very own erstwhile band Half Life Half Death. Of course, their set wouldn't be complete without a Cure song. haLf man haLf eLf performed also "Just like Heaven." The eLf didn't fail to mention that Urban Bandits was among the pioneers of Filipino Punk Rock music, and The Dawn was among the instigators of Filipino New Wave music. The entire event was caught on video. Urban Bandits and to The Dawn, some members of such bands are acquaintances of mine.

Finally The Cure in Canada

2007-06-28T17:21:00.000-05:00

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June 28, 2007
Thursday

The last time I saw extreme excitement on his face was years ago! But then, a few weeks ago, I noticed that he became like a highschool boy again. I made an investigation, and finally I knew what that was all about!

His most favorite band of all times, The Cure is finally doing a three-city Canadian tour starting September. Unfortunately Robert Smith and the rest of his idols won't be stopping over here in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where we are. The three cities are Montreal in Quebec, Vancouver in British Columbia, and Toronto in Ontario.

He decided to see them in Toronto, on September 28. Tickets will be available next week. I heard that he planned to run to the nearest Ticketmaster next week to buy the ticket. Knowing the piles of bills that he currently pays, he should start saving enough pocket money and plane ticket budget. I think that a round-trip ticket to Toronto and back here will cost him about C$400. Not bad, considering that watching The Cure perform live has been one of his greatest highschool dreams.

If only I have enough dough, then I would be the one to shoulder all his expenses. Sorry, lad! I'll just tag along, in case I'm able to get my own ticket. I need to see the concert as well. I'm a secret fan of Porl Thompson, who has recently returned to The Cure.

Wish me luck.

Draft: Engkanto: Burial Rituals

2007-05-29T07:16:00.000-05:00

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Flip her tail, O sacred swoon
Let her join the somber moon
Listen to our hymn and croon
Worry not, we'll follow soon

Here I come, my brilliant friend...

2007-05-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

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May 28, 2007
Monday

I attended the concert at PCCM last Saturday. Of course, I should be there, haLf man haLf eLf was on the lineup. The only frustrating experience I had that night was waiting for haLf man haLf eLf's set, which happened not until midnight already. Nevertheless, the wait was worth it. The band gave a blast performance. eLf, as usual, was in his highest spirits, performing five songs in seeming angst and bliss. Sadly, that would be the band's last performance, as eLf announced. He said that he, once again, lost interest in playing music live. He would now concentrate on finishing his novels and other books, for hopes of having these published soon. Another level of art, for sure.

The best song they played was "For Her Brilliance," which I learned was an original eLf wrote almost a decade ago.

In the meantime, I remain a follower. He's currently back in the groove at work at Riverview Health Centre. As always, his coworkers are easy to work with, the reason eh enjoys working every day.

He usually spends his days after work having fun time with his loved ones.

For now, I'm outta here. I still have to run to the dark room to develop the pictures I've taken of the concert last Saturday.

"Here I come, my brillient friend, knocking on your heart again...."

Inbetween Seasons

2007-05-26T13:28:00.000-05:00

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May 26, 2007
Saturday

I see him every day, but I've lost interest in bothering him that much. Of course, I too have my own adventures to take and problems to face. Although, I admit that I remain a diehard eLf stalker, for I still keep on tab of most of the things he does.

Days for eLf are a bit gloomy, literally...rainy days are here, pouring inbetween seasons. He would usually go out with his pink umbrella.

His life is pretty colorful these days, yet quiet and uneventful except for his once-in-a-while trek to the malls.

He decides to stop purchasing Star Wars action figures for the meantime, as well as decides to retire from the little music scene here in Winnipeg. He likes to concentrate on his being an author. He suddenly has a renewed spark in continuing his fantasy novel, Visionata Grandiosa, which he would write as a part of his Engkanto book.

Anyway, so much for that now. I have to get going, lest I may lose him once again. He's becoming more and more elusive these days. ' gotta keep a sharper eye on him.

All I know is, his band haLf man haLf eLf will be performing later tonight at a concert at the Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba on Keewatin, here in Winnipeg, along with fellow Filipino bands here. I heard that he would also be the deejay for the event. Hmm, I can now imagine his playlist. ' gotta get ready my costume for later.

I'll see you there, but you will certainly not see me. As always, I will be as inconspicuous as ever. That's how stalkers are.

"You move me, give me one good reason...."

Something So Good

2007-04-22T13:18:00.000-05:00

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Yesterday, I did nothing but observe the owner's activities for the day. He worked at his usual shift, 10 a.m to 6 p.m., at Tuxedo Villa. The nurse coordinator told him that the resident might have to stay at the villa for at least about a year. Of course, this is good news for him--meaning, he would have a steady shift for a long time. I saw him smile.

Upon arriving home, he was surprised by two packages in his room. Two more pairs of Doc Marten's boots that he ordered via eBay--a royal blue with floral engravement and one with a Spring-flowers design.

After eating an early dinner, he got a book, Love in the Time of Cholera, and put on a playlist which comprised of the following songs.

The Railway Children - "Something So Good"
The Railway Children - "Blue Sky"
The Railway Children - "Every Beat of the Heart"
The Mission U.K. - "Cocoon"
The Mission U.K. - "Butterfly on a Wheel"
The Mission U.K. - "Dragonfly"
The Mission U.K. - "Happy"
Blue Zoo - "Something Familiar"
Blue Zoo - "Open Up"
Blue Zoo - "Forgive and Forget"
The Sisters of Mercy - "First, Last, and Always"
The Sisters of Mercy - "Walk Away"
The Sisters of Mercy - "No Time to Cry"
Tuesday Blues - "Love Me Simple"
Tuesday Blues - "Tunnelvision"
INXS - "Beautiful Girl"
INXS - "Pretty Vegas"
INXS - "Devil Inside"
The Blue Hearts - "Train Train"
The Blue Hearts - "Linda Linda"

The Joy of Stalking

2007-04-14T19:22:00.000-05:00

Whew! I spent several hours last night, back-reading the previous contents of this blogspot. I was amazed to realize that the original owner indeed possesses remarkable prolificacy and proficiency. I will certainly pale in comparison. But what the heck! I'm here only to tell his stories and not to compete with him.

Having nothing to do the whole day, I decided to stalk the owner. Saturday, he was up early. He worked at Tuxedo Villa today. He has been looking after a single resident for two and a half months now. The resident has Alzheimer's and is very violent when agitated and very aggressive even when unprovoked--the reason a one-to-one services of a health care aide was required. Fortunately, the owner was also nurse, so he knows well how to deal with the resident. The family of the resident and as well the management of Tuxedo Villa are thrilled about the owner's performance.

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The owner was more excited these days because there's no more snow on the ground and biting chills of the wind. Spring has come at last. He can now wear his Doc Marten's boots without the fear of getting it messed up with the after-snow mud.

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One interesting fact about the owner which I want to divulge today is, I never realized until today (as I was stalking him) that he has also a penchant for showbiz gossips! During his break time, he went to the Safeway superstore adjacent to the nursing home to buy some groceries. Then, I saw him drop by at the magazine section. I thought he would check out music magazines like AP, The Rolling Stones, but did you know what he picked up? Showbiz magazines!

I caught him smiling while he was reading the article about the late Ann Nicole Smith's daughter. Perhaps, he was keeping track to know who the real father was. Some other articles that he spent extra time reading included the updates on Britney Spears and the current flings of Paris Hilton.

...
Oh well, I am really enjoying this new hobby of mine: Stalking one of my secret idols.

Till then. I'll just check out what he is up to right now. I just saw him get something from the freezer. I'm sure he will be cooking something for his dinner and packed lunch for tomorrow's work. Yes, he works also on Sundays; hardworking guy. I hope he finds time to take some days off and smell the flowers of Spring.

New Management

2007-04-14T03:24:00.000-05:00

After weeks of lobbying, I was finally able to convince the owner of this blogspot to sell it to me. How much? Let's just say that it cost me a hefty part of my fortune.

Anyway, impulsive as I tend to be every time the moon is blue, I bought this blogspot without even thinking what I am going to do with it.

Initially, I thought of following the trails of the original owner, but (being an avid fan since the early days of this blogspot) I realized that my life is remarkably lackluster, pale, boring, and uneventful compared with his.

So, in tribute to the owner himself, I decided to just serve as an observer and teller of his adventures and misadventures.

Lest I get myself in trouble, of course, I asked his permission. Kind and understanding as he always is, he allowed me...but with the condition that he would not be held liable for whatever I may write about him.

So, for whatever I may write here, the responsibility is solely mine and mine alone. The owner has ultimately decided to live a private life. But, of course, he couldn't stop fans like me to keep track of his doings. Call me a paparazzi, or even a stalker...

But I simply couldn't bear the fact that the cyberworld now exists without any eLf idea.

So, bear with me. I am certainly way, way below the standards of the real owner; but I'm just telling his stories through my own observations. Whatever impression every article might send through is my own.

...
All I want to write now about him is...

As always, he's busy with his work at the nursing homes, hardworking as ever, working literally seven days a week.

He recently returned to his elementary hobby of collecting Star Wars action figures, amassing more than a hundred new figures in the last two months.

He still writes for that newspaper, The Filipino Journal, maintaining two columns.

He lied low in his music making, but his band has an upcoming gig next month, along with fellow Filipino bands in Winnipeg.

His love life? Sorry, but this will be the only topic that cannot be discussed here. It's part of the terms of agreement in the purchase of his blogspot.

So, lest I lose this chance of a lifetime of becoming a sort of a storyteller, I'd rather write about those other interesting things other than love.

Thank you.

Please bear with me.

The door is now closed

2007-03-27T00:53:00.000-05:00

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eLf ideas is now closing down. Finally it has decided to become a private entity.

It likes to extend its gratitude to everyone who has become a part of its journey.

Good night. Good tidings. And good bye.

Mga Filipino Nga Lang Ba ang Masisipag?

2007-02-07T09:19:00.000-06:00

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Another article from my column in The Filipino Journal:

In my only half a year’s experience of working here in Canada, I was able to interact closely with people of various races—Caucasians, Blacks, First Nations, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Hindis, Italians, and many more. Because I am broad-minded and multiculturally tolerant, I usually get to engage many of them in serious conversations about life and struggles. And based on these once-in-a-while interactions and my observations on how they approach their jobs, I can confidently say that most of them are hardworking individuals and each possesses commendable work ethics. I therefore refute the popular belief of many Filipinos that they are the only people who possess a distinct sense of industry and hard work. If only we are to widen our cultural perspective, we will realize that all working individuals—regardless of race—strive hard in their jobs with a common purpose—that is, to be regarded as worthy of their chosen professions or occupations and to be able to earn well, enough to meet the daily needs of their families and to save sufficiently for their future.

Real Lives, Real People
Here are some of the people with whom I get to interact in my day-to-day working life here in Canada—individuals who I believe possess a laudable sense of work ethics.

Natalie, a Jamaican, works tirelessly eight hours a day, five days a week, at A&W Restaurant. She performs her multiple tasks without the need to be reminded of. Whenever the store is not busy, she never idles around. She usually looks for ways to keep herself occupied. She doesn’t hesitate to be of assistance to her coworkers, helping especially the new hirees and making them feel confident in their newfound jobs.

Tobey, a Caucasian, another former coworker of mine at A&W, despite being already a store manager, still does the tasks of an ordinary service crew whenever we were understaffed. She would unhesitatingly clean the washrooms, empty the garbage bins, and sweep or mop the floor.

Always possess a sunny disposition despite the typically stressful environment in the workplace.

Rachel, an Ethiopian working as a fellow health care aide at Riverview Health Centre, always possesses a sunny disposition despite the typically stressful environment where we work. To some, orientating students and newly hired workers is another unnecessary task; but to Rachel, this serves as a learning experience not only for the person being orientated but also for herself. During a break time, I had the opportunity to engage her in a conversation. I learned that she was working doubly hard because she financially helps some of her brothers back home. She said that helping a family member is part of their culture. And isn’t this outlook the same with that of Filipinos?

Many immigrant workers strive doubly hard to be able to help their families back home.

Ajeet, a Hindi taxi driver, who happens to be the one who usually picks me up early in the morning whenever I work the day shift, takes out his cab even though the weather is unfavorable and the snow on the ground is knee-deep. He said that being a cab driver is a dangerous and tasking job, and yet he is on the road usually twelve hours a day. Because of this job, he was able to send his children to university, most of whom are now professionals; and he takes pride in telling me these accomplishments.

Judy, a Caucasian working as a nursing coordinator at Tuxedo Villa, is always on the go. You will never see her glued at her desk. She always visits every station to address whatever is needed there. I usually see her helping the staff feed the elderly residents during meal times, a task which I’m sure is no longer part of her workload. She is also good at remembering names and faces, addressing every resident and member of the staff on a first-name basis.

Sa Madaling Salita
Hindi namumukod-tangi sa kasipagan ang mga Filipino. Bawat taong naghahanapbuhay—anuman ang kanyang lahi—ay iisa pa rin ang pangunahing mithiin: Ang makapaghanapbuhay nang maayos at ang kumita nang angkop sa kanyang kakayanan upang matustusan ang mga pangangailangan sa buhay at para masiguro ang kinabukasan ng pamilya at iba pang mga mahal sa buhay. At bawat lahi—hindi lamang Filipino—ay kakikitaan ng mga halimbawa ng indibidwál na kumikilos nang higit sa hinihingi ng kanilang mga trabaho—mga taong inuuna ang serbisyo sa kapwa at pangalawa lamang ang pera sa kanilang mga adhikain sa buhay.

Lost!

2007-01-22T10:40:00.000-06:00

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January 22, 2007
Monday

What an event to greet me this morning. Working early at Riverview Health Centre today, I took a cab to get there. When I was already at the wing to which I'm assigned, I noticed that something was missing. My cellular phone! I'll call Unicity Taxi in a little while. I hope that the driver found it before the next passenger did. Not that I don't mistrust passengers, but there's a likely chance that the driver would return my phone because the taxi companies here monitor the passenger, destination, and the pickup points, so they could trace easily who pickep up whom.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get my phone back. As usual, more important are the phone numbers of my contacts there.

Later...back to work.

Here comes the snow again

2006-12-31T13:14:00.000-06:00

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December 31, 2006
Sunday

Guess what? It's New Year's Eve and I'm here at Riverview Health Centre, working from 7:30 a.m. till 9 p.m. tonight.

Last night, snow fell once again. It gave us about 20 cm of snow on the ground. I was also working, until 11:45 p.m. I was lucky, for a fellow health care aide who had a car offered to drop me off, since that she would be passing by where I live. If not, I would have trekked the deep snow unprepared.

This morning I began calling a cab at about 6:30, but all lines were busy. It was already about 9 when I got through. I arrived at work at 9:30. I called the agency beforehand and asked them to inform Riverview that I would be running late.

It was okay, though, for not only me but also a lot of employees got late because of the sudden snowfall.

Work today is relatively easy. But I liked it better when it's busy, for time flies that way. Well, I brought a book so I'll just spend unbusy time reading The Fish Prince and Other Merman Stories.

' be back.

Nothing changes on New Year's Day

2006-12-30T15:22:00.000-06:00

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December 31, 2006
Saturday

If I were in the Philippines, I would have been among the thousands of the mall trekkers rushing to complete their final list of things to buy--gifts, new clothes, shoes, equipment, food for New Year's Eve.

But I'm here in Canada, living independently; so instead of being at a mall, I'm here at work, just like a thousand other immigrants who become oblivious of almost every passing occasion, immersed in their jobs. Away from their homes and loved ones and closest peers, they opt to let the holidays pass while focusing on their tasks at work, rather than brood and think of the joys happening at home.

Oh well, nothing changes on New Year's Day anyway. Despite that, mine will still be filled with hopes and wishes. New aspirations and new goals. And this is quite never ending.

See you next year.

Now I'm back to my ward. I'm working.

Christmas is never the same

2006-12-30T03:50:00.000-06:00

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December 30, 2006
Friday

I didn't even notice that Christmas day has passed. I was working on the eve, on that day, and on the next day.

I am yet to send my gifts to my niece and nephews in the Philippines.

For myself, I bought a silver/purple Nike Shox for my work as a health care aide and a pair of silver Doc Martens boots.

For the rest of the days, when I'm not working, I just slept all day.

I'll start saving money. I'll get up earlier so I wouldn't have to run to the bus stop to catch the right trip.

An eLf's Christmas wish

2006-12-25T12:45:00.000-06:00

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December 25, 2006
Monday

Christmas today, but for me, the day feels like just any other day. No much fanfare here. I just spent the whole morning in my room, listening to music and reading articles on the Internet.

New Year's resolution? Nothing much. Just to start saving money so I can fulfill my plans to come home next Christmas.

Personal plans? Now that I finally finished a painstaking project, that is, my debut musical project as haLf man haLf eLf, The Woes of Emong Payaso, I'm set to pursue another difficult task, to finally finish Book One of my book Engkanto: A Bestiary of Philippine Mythical Characters. My being a columnist at a Winnipeg-based newspaper, The Filipino Journal, is beginning to earn me a following. Add to this, the regular airpaly on a local radio station of the songs of my former band Half Life Half Death is again giving me what I achieved back in the old days in the Philippines--that is, popularity and affinity with a few influential people in the Filipino community. And I will use this opportunity to help me publish a book.

It's about time to take my creativity to the next level. In terms of music, I think, I've already accomplished a lot. Now I want finally to be considered an author, to legitimize my being a literary man.

Sha la la la la la la...

2006-12-20T13:29:00.000-06:00

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December 20, 2006
Wednesday

I thought my agency was not assigning any shift to me today. The scheduler gave me a ring around 7 a.m. already! I told her that I would be late. She said that it would be all right. So, here I am, at Riverview Health Centre once again. I took a cab, arrived here at 7:45, not bad.

Work today is busy but quite okay. My coworkers today are friendly and supportive. The residents are also cooperative. The weather is as well fine--minus 2 today. The sun is up and bright.

Okay, got to get back.

Later.

Song this morning:
"Shine" - Monaco
"What Do You Want from Me" - Monaco
"I've Got a Feeling" - Monaco
"Selfish" - The Other Two
"Tasty Fish" - The Other Two
"Movin' On" - The Other Two
"Krafty" - New Order
"Regret" - New Order
"Love Vigilantes" - New Order
"Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Joy Division
"Atmosphere" - Joy Division

Don't dream it's over

2006-12-18T10:56:00.000-06:00

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December 18, 2006
Monday

Mukhang napabuti talaga ang pagkaka-resign ko from my job at A&W, kasi mas nakakakuha na ako ng shifts sa work ko as a health care aide. And as I already mentioned in the past, mas malaki ang sweldo ko rito, almost double my salary at A&W, besides, mas nasa linya pa ng nursing profession, which I'm really planning to pursue.

Anyway, I'm here once again at Riverview Health Centre, working the morning shift.

Oops, I need to go back to my ward. Break time is over.

Kahit anu'ng mangyari, tuluy-tuloy ang palabas

2006-12-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

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December 13, 2006
Wednesday

My last blog entry was relatively quite a while, considering that in the past I write almost thrice a week.

Anyway, here are some significant updates concerning my activities here in Canada.

...
Finally, I resigned from my job at the A&W Restaurant on at Keewatin and Burrows. Today was my last day. In as much as I would like to stay, I decided to move on. My five months with the company had been fruitful and educational. The best thing that I learned from that job is, I was able to validate my belief that the most formidable weapon any worker could have, to gain the respect of his coworkers--regardless of the race of these fellow workers--are knowledge and hard work. Add these two and you get that quality known as competence. I was surprised by the branch manager, who called me to let me cut the farewell cake. She also gave me a souvenir watch. All of them bade me well, telling me that they would not want me to go.

Some Filipinos that I meet here always tell me to beware of Caucasians at work because they kind of look down on you. Well, they were wrong, as what I thought anyway. As I said, stripped off of their racial or religious affinity, human beings are basically the same. People are people. regardless of race or religion, there'll always be the good and the evil. It's up to you how to deal with them. And usually, people react to you based on how you react to them. Fear them and they intimidate you. Show them that you're competent with what you do, and they'll look up to you. Respect them and their culture, and they respect you. Feel inferior and they'll look down on you.

I have to thank these A&W people for being kind and supportive coworkers; I'd like to believe that, in my short stint at this job, I and they have influenced each other in positive ways:
Celine, Tobey, Joshua, Natalie, Brian, Donna, and Gayle.

...
I remain a health care aide for the meantime. The good thing is, now that I no longer work at A&W, I will virtually be always available for a healthcare-aide work, which means more earnings and more time to rest and study and a bit to spend on my other important activities like writing and music making.

...
The past weeks have made me a bit busy. Aside from work, the preparation for the CD release party of my debut album as haLf man haLf eLf ate much of my extra time. I was the one who took care of the CDs' cover and disc designs, had these replicated by a professional, Polar Bear Limited Productions. At last, this musical project that I began with fellow musician Ardie Sarao last December 2005 is now finally finished. And we have also been practicing for Friday's CD release party.

...
Winnipeg artists Alas and haLf man haLf eLf are holding their CD release party on December 15, Friday, at Howard Johnson Hotel on Ellice Avenue. Tickets at $10 each. Supporting Alas and haLf man haLf eLf are fellow bands Studio 69 and Side F/X.

Alas is releasing its self-titled debut album, which includes the songs "Reason to Live," "Never Let You Down," and "Sigaw ng Puso."

haLf man haLf eLf is unleashing its debut album, The Woes of Emong Payaso, which contains a single, epic song that is comprised by four parts:

"Mahiwagang sapatos ni Emong Payaso"
"Parang karnabal (ganyan ang buhay ng tao)"
"Walang tigil ang palabas sa entablado"
"Sa likod ng bawat tagumpay ay kalbaryo"

Somewhere in the World There's a Cowboy Smiling

2006-12-02T14:53:00.000-06:00

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December 2, 2006
Saturday

Worry that I might get late again for work, like yesterday, I went earlier than usual. I arrived at Riverview Health Centre at 2:30 p.m., and my shift is 3:30 p.m. to 11:45 p.m; better early than late again.

A really chilly, snowy Saturday, most people are perhaps in their homes, comfortably resting or spending time with their families, or maybe watching TV or listening to music. But here I am, working my ass off. That's okay. I find working as a health care aide very fulfilling and easy, considering that I'm really looking forward finally to become a nurse in a matter of months (or at the most, two years).

...
Finally I decided to give up my job at A&W Restaurant, as I realized that I could have been earning more if I concentrate on my health care aide job. I hope to be able to work every day, morning shift, at the nursing homes, and then spend the rest of the day reviewing and writing and doing other important errands.

I submitted my resignation letter last Thursday, effective on December 13. As much as I'd like to stay, since I also enjoy working at A&W, I have to do that. Besides, I believe that the time to look for better opportunities is ripe once again.

...
For the meantime, my columns ("Sa Madaling Salita" and the Engkanto series) in The Filipino Journal remain. In fact, I have a deadline to meet. I need to finish today the next articles, due tomorrow. So, while waiting for the start of my shift, I will now begin keying the rough article I began writing last night: "May Sariling Musika Ba ang mga Musikerong Filipino ng Winnipeg?"

Who'll stop the snow from falling

2006-12-01T20:23:00.000-06:00

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December 1, 2006

What a way for December to greet me! I got late for two hours! My time was 3:30 p.m. As early as 2:30 I already phoned for a cab, anticipating the delay, because snow was blowing hard today. It was already nearly five and the taxi was not yet arriving. I decided to catch the bus instead despite the snow. Luckily an acquaintance saw me at the bus stop, who offered to drop me off at work.

Oops, got to get back to work.

The Emergence of Emong Payaso

2006-11-24T15:40:00.000-06:00

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November 24, 2006
Friday

At last, we wrapped up today our recording session for the "Karnabal" project. All that remain are two more sessions to be dedicated to the mixing of the entire content of The Woes of Emong Payaso maxi-single. Finalizing the content of the CD, I decided to present it as one long nonstop single track consisting of four parts, making it a tetralogy: "Mahiwagang sapatos ni Emong Payaso," "Parang karnabal (ganyan ang buhay ng tao)," "Tuluy-tuloy ang palabas sa entablado," and "Sa likod ng bawat tagumpay ay kalbaryo," with the third part being the main song.

In the beginning of the project, my collaborator wanted to remain anonymous, to be known only as Emong Payaso, chiefly because he initially felt that the musical project we were making does not represent his genre. His chief genre is Progressive Rock, the likes of Yes and Rush; so he felt that making an Alternative Rock / New Wave project might hurt his style, thus the anonymity. However, as we progressed, he began to accept that whatever we might have been embarking on, regardless of the style, is still, after all, a product of our own creativity. Actually, after one year (on and off) of making the project, it no longer remained only categorizable as New Wave. I can safely describe the project as an amalgamation of Alternative Rock / New Wave, Classical music, and Progressive Rock, with a touch of Folk. I just made sure that the result would not veer away from the style of the music of my former band Half Life Half Death, chiefly because I wanted to maintain my trademark sound. And after hearing the results, I could say that I'm satisfied.

Emong Payaso is satisfied as well, making him finally reveal himself. He is actually a friend of mine, named Abelardo "Ardie" Sarao, a very talented musician who began playing music since the late '70s.

I'm now in a rush to finish the album covers because our CD launching concert is slated on December 15, at Howard Johnson Hotel. Ardie and I will perform the contents of the album. Aside from this performace, I will also perform with my alternating live band, haLf man haLf eLf, which comprises of the band members of Studio 69.

Anyway, some more developments soon.

For the meantime, I should be going back to my ward now. I'm here at Riverview Health Centre, doing a day shift on a snowy Sunday. Fortunately, work today is relatively easy. Add to that, I'm always blessed for having nice coworkers.

It's never too late to become what you could have been"

2006-11-19T21:54:00.000-06:00

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November 19, 2006
Sunday

8:30 p.m., I just awoke from a few hours' nap, but still I'm feeling tired. I played some New Wave, and this is enough to perk me up.

Rupert Everett - "Generation of Loneliness"
Billy Bragg - "Greetings to the New Brunette"
New Model Army - "White Coats"
Flesh for Lulu - "Time and Space"
Flaming Mussolinis - "My Cleopatra"
A House - "Always Be Grateful"
The Jesus and Mary Chain - "April Skies"
Jimmy Jimmy - "I Met Her in Paris"
The Killers - "Mr. Brightside"
Kaiser Chiefs - "Modern Way"
Kitchens of Distinction - "Smiling"
Koo De Tah - " Too Young for Promises"
Kon Kan - "I Beg Your Pardon"
The Lilac Time - "And the Ship Sails On"
Lloyd Cole & the Commotions - "Brand New Friend"
The Cure - "How Beautiful You Are"
The Cult Heroes - "I'm a Cult Hero"
Hot Hot Heat - "Middle of Nowhere"
Silos - "Things Within"
Dean's December - "It Doesn't Snow in Manila"

...
Today, Sunday, I worked only the morning shift, 7:30 to 3:45 p.m., at Riverview Health Centre. Around 11:00 a.m. the agency called, asking if I could do a double shift; meaning, work straight up till 11:45 p.m., which I usually do. I said no, I needed a Sunday rest. As soon as I got home, around 5, I hugged the pillows.

...
Last Wednesday, November 20, I took the English Benchmarking Test at the Immigration's Adult Language Centre. It was a three-hour session which I was able to finish in about an hour. The test consisted of a written, reading comprehension, listening, and interview portion. In the essay writing, I committed two grammatical blunders, whereas in the rest I got perfect scores!

My mistakes:
"In the countryside, there are not much pollution and buzz...."
According to the examiner, I should have used is. I no longer rebutted her. I used are because I treated "pollution" and "buzz" as two separate subjects.

"Some people prefer living in the city, where there are much activities...."
I missed this! Yeah, it should have been many, because "activities" is a countable noun. Much is used for uncountable nouns.

...
According to the examiner, I could have gotten a benchmark of 11 (highest is 12), but that they couldn't give me that mark because the highest score they could award an immigrant like me is only 8. In short, I got the highest allowable score of 8. I need this benchmark when I enroll for a refresher course or study again at a university, which I intend to do in the near future. Aside from pursuing my nursing career, I plan to take a certificate course at University of Winnipeg, any writing-related course.

...

A well-nigh perfect work it is,

2006-11-14T16:19:00.000-06:00

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November 14, 2006
Tuesday

Almost every time I open my e-mail accounts, a message or two would surprise me--usually letters from fellow enthusiasts of New Wave music, admirers of my former band Half Life Half Death, or people I don't know who appreciate what I write on my blog site.

Today, I received an e-mail message from a very important person. Important, yes, simply because she's a daughter of the legendary Filipino literary couple Abelardo Subido and Trinidad Tarrosa--poet and poetess whose works I truly admire, as evidensed by the tribute article I wrote of them, posted on my blog site last year, on January 22, 2005.

Until now I couldn't believe that many people feel moved by the thoughts and ideas that I continually write here on my blog site. As I always say, I write more to express what I think or feel than to impress people. This is the reason, every time I receive messages of appreciation and admiration, I become more inspired and humble than proud.

...

Here's the e-mail message written by Maya Walker, a daughter of Abelardo Subido and Trinidad Tarrosa:

Tue, 14 Nov 2006

Very Dear Elf,

Maraming, maraming salamat.

I accidentally stumbled on your blog post today honoring Papa and Mommy. Yes, Abelardo Subido is Papa, and Trinidad Tarrosa is Mommy. Isn't it remarkable that Filipinas never cease to call their parents by their childhood terms of endearment even after many, many, many decades past?

Tears streamed down my face as I read your post and heard once again Papa & Mommy's words stirring within, two voices in harmony, always in harmony. I am blessed to have their DNA. Their words are all I need to enliven me. As a child Mommy recited her poems to me during our garden walks, and Papa read his to a dictaphone with the theme of "Bonanza" in the background--a particularly funny and vivid memory.

Maraming salamat uli. I have been feeling a great gravitational pull to glorify my parents and am coming to the inevitable...a novel dedicated to them. The book you're reading in the photo dated January 21, 2005 was published by my siblings back in Manila, Philippines. For the last 28 years I've been living in Berkeley/Oakland, CA, but just moved to Vallejo, a huge Pinoy town, 35 miles up north of the San Francisco Bay. Pancit, lumpia, and pan de sal are sold practically every quarter mile. If you ever find yourself in this part of town, tawag ka... let's commune over halo-halo.

I enclose a picture. I am a perfect combinatorial clone of Tarrosa-Subido.

Maya Walker

...
Maya,

Like your parents before you, you inspired my literary pen once again. I thank you for that, especially that these days when I'm so much preoccupied by my jobs here in Canada, I have so little time to spend on my literary pursuits. And messages like yours are enough to compel me to make love with my Muses even during the most exhausting nights.

Yes, I'll certainly flutter by your door in case my wings bring me to where you are.

aLfie 

...

Lest I forget, I must thank my fianceé, Charlotte Belialba, without whom I would have not known the poetry of the Subido couple in the first place. Charlotte was the one who gifted me, in 2004, with the books Private Edition (Sonnets and Other Poems) by Trinidad Tarrosa Subido and Sonnets from a Gardener (And Other Poems) by Abelardo Subido. Hon, thanks again.

...

A quick reply from Maya:

Tue, 14 Nov 2006

aLf,

In warp speed I clicked on your entry today. Your lyricism feels kindred. You must be a long-lost brother. I am going to devour your past and future entries henceforth! Can I get an RSS feed from your blog? [My pleasure!]

My younger sister Mayita (google Kristina Subido) writes songs in Tagalog and has translated many of Mommy's poems. She's the driving force behind Milestone Publications. [Is this a sign? I've been looking for a publishing company who will happily publish my fantasy-fiction book Engkanto. Hint...hint.]

Like most divinely-inspired artists -- Picasso, Matisse, et al. -- Mommy cross-created in other media, like oils, acrylics, sumi-e. So you must be just as divinely-inspired with your poetry and music.

I wish you massive success in all that you do!

Love,
Maya

We'll be as we are, when all the fools that doubt us fade away

2006-11-07T18:31:00.000-06:00

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November 7, 2006
Tuesday

Yesterday, after my work at A&W (11 a.m. to 2 p.m.) I went to Service Canada and followed up something. This has something to do with the unemployment claims which I filed for the months (June and July) that I was officially unemployed. Fortunately, it got approved; however, I received only a small amount of money--less than what I was expecting. I found out that since I'm holding now two jobs and that I'm currently earning more than the minimum wage, I was no longer eligible to the maximum pay. That's all right. More important is, I have now jobs.

...
Yesterday, after my trip to Service Canada, I passed by the HMV store at Portage Place (a mall in downtown). I remembered friend Jessel's telling me that there's an ongoing sale on CDs and DVDs. I went home with a couple of DVDs: Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, E.T., and Edward Scissorhands. I already have these on VCDs, but since they were on sale, I might as well have them on DVDs; besides, the editions that I got were the remastered versions with additional features.

...
Oops, I have to go back to my work now. I'm here at Riverview Health Centre and I'm just on my first break time.

There's no need to be afraid

2006-11-06T21:55:00.000-06:00

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Christmas season is coming once again. In the Philippines, I'm sure that the spirit of the holidays can already be felt everywhere, especially in the malls--where Christmas decors and carols fill the air.

Here in Canada where I am, no much fanfare in the malls; the only reminder that Christmas is here is the fact that Winter snow had begun to fall once again several days ago. The streets and the roofs of houses are immaculate white once again.

Lovely?

Yes, of course, especially to someone like me who grew up in a tropical country, where Winter and snow are usually seen (not felt) only in movies and on postcards and other holiday greeting cards.

In reality, Winter snow is nice to behold only when you're indoors (where it's warm), through the windows--especially when you're solitary and when staring at the sight outside makes you feel like you're staring at a Christmas greeting card.

As a longtime enthusiast of New Wave music, I usually regard Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" as my favorite Christmas song.

Trivially, many people thought that the British collaborative group Band Aid only followed what USA for Africa ("We Are the World") did. However, the fact is, Band-aid was the forerunner of collaborative musical projects intended for charity, usually released during Christmas season. Yes, USA for Africa was the one that imitated what Band-aid undertook. In fact, USA for Africa even consulted and invited Sir Bob Geldof of The Boomtown Rats (one of the brains behind Band Aid) to get involved in their project, to which the latter happily obliged.

Anyway, who did it first no longer matter in the end. What's important is that big collaborative groups like Band Aid and USA for Africa set a trend in music recording--in which members of various bands, including solo artists, get together to record a song for a cause.

Most of the songs below are examples of such collaborative musical projects. Although, a few are not intended for Christmas or charity--like England United's and Pulp's. Nevertheless, I always associate all of these songs with the holidays. Also, a few below are results of my researches about songs similar to "Do They Know It's Christmas?", like "Nackt im Wind" and "Do They Know It's Halloween?"

Band Aid - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Northern Lights - "Tears Are Not Enough"

USA for Africa - "We Are the World"
North American Hallowe'en Prevention, Inc. - "Do They Know It's Hallowe'en?"
England United - "(How Does It Feel to Be) On Top of The World?"
Pulp - "Bad Cover Version"
Band Aid 20 - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Band Aid II - Do They Know It's Christmas?"

Band für Afrika - "Nackt im Wind ('Naked in the Wind')"

Captain Sensible (of The Damned) - "One Christmas Catalogue"

The Pogues - "Fairytale in New York"

Carter USM - "Christmas Shoppers Paradise"

Carter USM - "Lonely This Christmas"

The Farm - "Altogether Now"

The Lightning Seeds - "Three Lions"

Hear 'n Aid - "Stars"

Chanteurs Sans Frontieres - "Ethiopie"

Forente Artister - "Sammen for livet"

Nanna - "Afrika"

Feel free to download MP3s of these songs from my Multiply site.

In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not

2006-11-03T16:44:00.000-06:00

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November 3, 2006
Thursday

Last Friday, I finally took another important step concerning my professional career. I contacted College of Registered Nurses of Manitoba and inquired about my chances in challenging the provincial nursing registration examination. I gave a few basic details of my case: that I finished a four-year Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree in 1992; passed the Nursing Licensure Examination in the same year, making me a Registered Nurse in the process; but that I never did practice the profession; instead I ended up working as a pharmaceutical representative for one year, as a document analyst and coding supervisor for three years, and as an editor/writer of scholastic publications for several years.

The receptionist told me that CRNM would recognize both my educational background and my work record, and that the toughest thing that I may have to undergo is to take a few subjects, depending on their assessment of my credentials and other related documents. They would send me an application package. So, by now I should begin collating all the necessary and related documents which would have to accompany it.

I already have copies of my transcript of record and college diploma. My PRC (Professional Regulation Commission) card expired in 2004, so I need someone in the Philippines to renew it for me. Charlotte already inquired at the PRC office. She said that I need to prepare passport-size photographs, an authorization letter and special power of attorney, and money for the penalty fee for failing to renew it promptly.

Despite my being busy with my jobs, I always try to make the most out of every opportunity that is just lying on my path.

I know...I know that luck is not enough. Above all, I should be the one to take the initiative to get things going. As in Invictus, by the British poet William Ernest Henley:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the budgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.

Some more August pictures

2006-11-02T04:05:00.000-06:00

Siakol tour in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, August 27, 2006

Chester Pangan (deejay at CKJS AM and 100.3 Cafe FM radio stations), James Rodriguez (Siakol's drummer), Noel Palomo (Siakol's vocalist), Jason Paredes (FourSight's band leader and producer of the Siakol concert in Winnipeg), Ardie Sarao (one of the highly regarded guitarists in the Filipino band scene in Winnipeg), Miniong Cervantes (Siakol's guitarist), I, Jason Gerodias (Siakol's manager), Lyn (Ritchie's wife), Maning, Jaizen (Jason's eldest son), Wowie Flores (Siakol's bassist), DJ Duke, and Ritchie

Jen; Siakol's James, Miniong, and Noel; Roy Gutierrez; Siakol's Wowie; Jason G.; I; Hare (of AB Noize from Toronto, Ontario); Abet; Boy; Ten-ten; and Jimmy Olais

I with friends Let, Hazel, and Arabella

haLf man haLf eLf and FourSight with friends

The burning-red passion of haLf man haLf eLf

"A legacy so far removed / One day will be improved / Eternal rights we left behind / We were the better kind"

Para bang cotton candy na ubod ng tamis

2006-11-02T03:07:00.000-06:00

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November 2, 2006
Thursday

Finally, I devoted time to spend on my well-deserved and necessary shopping. I didn't accept an evening shift yesterday (Tuesday) and today (Wednesday), so I could go to the mall and other shopping places.

Yesterday, my destination was Computer Boulevard on St. James. I bought an Internet-connection cable, blank CD-Rs and DVD-Rs, 130 G external HDD, Nexstar-3 external HDD enclosure, and wireless headphones (which I will return because it was grounded; I'd instead buy an extension cable for my existing wired headphones.

Today, after dropping by at the office of my healthcare-aide agency to submit my timesheets, I went to the nearby Portage Place (shopping centre). I bought a Winter jacket, a dark-brown working shoes, a pair of thinsulate gloves, black furry slippers (for inside the house), and white Sorel heavy-duty Winter boots.

I spent a hefty amount of money, but I was satisfied with the things I bought, except for the Winter jacket. When he saw it, my friend Ardie said that the jacket would not be warm enough during the coldest days of Winter. He recommended a particular store which specializes in work clothes and stuff, Mark Warehaus, where I will surely find better Winter jackets that could withstand a -35 degC and below. I'll just return the jacket that I bought.

...
Emong Payaso and I resumed our Karnabal project. Finally, we are finished with the introductory piece to the main song, entitled "Mahiwagang sapatos ni Emong Payaso." I'm satisfied with the result, which is what I originally had in mind when I first conceptualized the idea of making a trilogy of interrelated songs.

To those who haven't sampled the main song yet, here, have a listen:

"Parang karnabal--ganyan ang buhay ng tao" by haLf man haLf eLf

The last perfect thing

2006-10-31T01:45:00.000-06:00

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October 31, 2006
Tuesday

Instead of black, Halloween here in Canada where I am was white.

This morning, bits of snow fell. As midnoon approached, the sky generously unloaded its immaculate-white patters. Cool, as always--literally and figuratively--especially when you're indoors, watching the view through the windows.

...
Work at A&W this morning was okay. As always, my coworkers were nice to work with. As soon as I got off at 2 p.m., I called a taxi. I'd be running to my other job, an evening shift at Tuxedo Villa (nursing home), 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. Cab fare: $19! Imagine that! I really need to have my own vehicle next year, after I pass the road test. I don't mind my taxi expenses, for the meantime. Anyway, that's just an hour-and-a-half slice off my one-shift salary as a healthcare aide. Better this, than not accepting the whole day shift.

...
Work today at Tuxedo was unnecessarily tough, compared with my previous shifts there. The reason? My healthcare-aide partner was--grr!--very unhelpful. She was too independent to a fault. She was the type of worker who follows the principle, "I won't help you because I don't need your help."

As soon as the shift started, she relayed to me the tasks as if I was her subordinate. I overheard another coworker's telling her not be too harsh with me for I might get scared. I responded by saying, "Oh, I don't get scared. Nothing intimidates me. This is not my first work. I've been working since 1992. And I've encountered far worse situations." Even though I felt irked by that coworker, I bit my tongue. I would have said, "I've encountered far worse people."

Anyway, soon as that encounter occurred, I never bothered her, unless I really had to. I was glad that the Filipina nurse in our team was helpful. She was usually the one offering her assistance. However, I didn't take advantage of her kindness. I worked throughout the shift almost on my own, asking for help only when it was called for--like for instance, in operating the mechanical lifts, which require two persons.

Minus that disappointing coworker, the shift was okay. As usual, I was in my sunny self. Both coworkers and residents frequently make positive remarks about my zanny personality.

For yet another time, I was mistaken for a non-Filipino. Two coworkers--both Filipinas--on separate occasions--were surprised to learn that I'm Filipino. Both of them mistook me for Spanish. Do I look like Ferdinand Magellan? Oops, Magellan was a Portuguese. Hehehe!

Anyway, the negative energy emanated by that *&@# coworker was balanced by another Filipina coworker during dismissal time. The snow was blowing hard. It was already about a foot high in the streets. Luckily, a Filipina healthcare aide saw me waiting by the door of the villa. She asked me if I was waiting for my ride. I told her that I was waiting for the bus. She offered to drop me off somewhere. Her husband was picking her up.

Such a streak of luck, the couple live somewhere in Tyndall, a place near my friend Roy's house where I now stay.

In short, they dropped me off right by the door of Roy's house. The trip took only about 30 minutes, so I got home before midnight. If I went by bus, I would have reached the house at past one. And to think that the chilly wind was blowing hard, and the snow on the ground was getting higher and higher.

...
Tomorrow, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m, I'll be working again at A&W. I'm thinking of not accepting an evening shift at the nursing home. I want to go to the mall finally to buy my Winter gear--lightweight Winter jacket, boots, scarf, and gloves.

...
By the way, the unhelpful coworker I was talking about was Black. But don't think that she was like that because of her color. I've worked with many South African Blacks (Ethiopians, Jamaican, Eritrian), and most of them were kind and helpful. Don't think also that all my Filipino coworkers are willing to assist a newcomer. I've already encountered a few freaking Filipino coworkers, who would not even smile at you. Caucasians? Just the same--there were those who didn't want to be bothered, and there were those who would offer their assistance and would engage you in a friendly conversation.

Bottomline? Race has nothing to do with a person's attitude. We should not stereotype. There are the good and the bad in every race.

As for me, I'll just continue being myself. Tried and tested, I acquire more friends than detractors.

...
One last thing, there was this octagenarian resident at Tuxedo Villa who called me stupid, just because I ignored her nonsense proddings. Instead of getting back at her by uttering a similar remark. I just smiled and said, "How did you know that I'm Cupid--the shooter of hearts, making people fall in love?" Her aggression suddenly turned into laughter. But still, I didn't go near her. You will never know...especially when you're working at the geriatric ward, where the thing most lost is the mind.

Moving forward, using all my breath

2006-10-28T02:25:00.000-05:00

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October 28, 2006
Saturday

Finally, I moved in some of my stuff at my friend Roy's house, where I'd be staying from now on. I believe that the time to become independent once again has come. Winter is here; getting colder and colder by the day; twenty minutes' walk from the house of my relatives where I stay to the nearest bus stop is not a joke, especially when the weather is cold, as in cooold! Some friends in the Philippines may say that, hey, it's just like having a daily exercise. Mind you, when it's Summer, the trek is tolerable; but when the temperature is freezing cold, you can never endure even a 10-minute exposure out in the streets.

Besides, I have now jobs. I'm earning, so I should as well begin to live on my own. Also, friend Roy is very understanding and considerate. He gave me a very reasonable rental fee. Most important, I have now my own room, where I can put all my stuff--something I was deprived of for the past three years and so. I don't blame anyone. I know that these are all part of the package when I decided to migrate here into Canada. Past is past. I'm moving on. I'm recharged! I'm free once again.

I'm ready for new adventures, for writing new chapters in my book of life.

Are you narcistic?

2006-10-25T00:31:00.000-05:00

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October 24, 2006
Tuesday

Since Sunday, October 22, I've been getting shifts from my healthcare agency; and that's all good! More shifts equals more money and more experience in the healthcare field.

...
"Are you Filipino?" I've been frequently getting this question at work--and mind you--from fellow Filipinos! Hahaha! I'm unsure of the reason, but I surmise it's the way I interact with people of other races, especially with Caucasians. Having been so much experienced in dealing with people, courtesy of my previous works in the Philippines--as a pharmaceutical representative ( I got to deal with physicians), as a coding supervisor (I got to train and orientate people, as an editor (I got to discuss with academicians), as a band member....

I mean, I've been noticing that many Filipinos at work have the tendency to flock among themselves; only a few of them mingle with other races. And when they speak English, the fluency and the fluidity seem missing. I'm unsure of the reason they find talking with other races uncomfortable. Has this something to do with inferiority complex, which is--worse--aggravated by the superiority complex of some Caucasians? Difficulty in expressing oneself in English? Feelings of incompetence about things and other trivial topics that inevitably pop up in any conversation?

Oh well, there are a hundred reasons, for sure. But if one isolates herself from other races, by mingling only with her compatriots, she is wasting her chance to be broad-minded and culturally adaptable.

...
I--I don't feel inferior. In fact, I jump at every chance to converse with people of other races. And, surprisingly, they're the ones who usually get surprised when they talk with me; chiefly because I can always relate to whatever they're talking about.

...
Once, I asked this Caucasian coworker: "What country did you come from?"

She replied: "Oh, you wouldn't know. It's somewhere in Europe."

I said: "Try me."

"Okay," she said, but still hesitant. "Poland."

"What!" And then I laughed.

Half-disgusted and half-annoyed, I litanied:

"Poland is regarded as the heart of Europe because it is located at the center of the European continent. Its capital is Warsaw, which is also the country's largest city. Its flag consists of white on top and red below. Its currency is zloty. Some well-known Polish people include Madam Marie Sklodowska-Curie, the scientist; Frédéric François Chopin, the Classical pianist and composer; and, of course, the late Pope John Paul II, whose real name was Karol Wojtyla, born in Wadowice, childhood nickname Lelek...

"What else?"

Grr! You could imagine the coworker's embarrassment and amazement and my sense of pride being a well-learned Filipino.

Nagba-blush rin pala sila kapag napapahiya. Hahaha!

Anyway...

Many Caucasians couldn't believe that I'm Filipino. I've been mistaken for a Chilean, Spanish, German. What! German? Yeah. Hahaha!

Oh well.

More funny workplace stories next time.

...

All I can say is, Knowledge is power. It is also a formidable weapon against discrimination and condescension.

...
More...

CONMITATION vs. CONTAMINATION
A coworker kept on saying "CONMITATION." Before I asked her about the meaning of the word, I checked it first. Yes! I knew it; she meant CONTAMINATION.

Instead of correcting her pointblank. I just replied the correct word every time she would mention her version. After some time, she began pronouncing it correctly.

NARCISM vs. NARCISSISM
A Caucasian coworker, a registered nurse, engaged me in a discussion about Psychiatric Nursing. She began mentioning topics like Alzheimer's disease, dementia praecox, schizophrenia. I told her that I find Psychiatry and Psychology very interesting subjects.

Then, she said that there was this one resident who looks at the mirror virtually all the time. I immediately interjected, "Ah, she has this personality disorder called narcissism.

She said: "Yeah, she has narcism.

I repeated: "Yeah, she has narcissism", giving the word a proper stress. The coworker laughed and said: "Oops, yeah, narcissism, I meant."

I would have discussed with her about Narcissus, the Greek Mythology nymph from where that medical term originated, but it was already break time. Hahaha!

We can't feel those aches and pains, We won't listen to the voices in the city rain

2006-10-21T02:17:00.000-05:00

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October 21, 2006
Saturday

2:00 a.m., I just got back home. I left the house at around 9 p.m. last night, to watch the '90s-formed Canadian Alternative Rock band Sloan, at the Silverado's on Jefferson near McPhillips, about 10-minute-drive away from the house. I rode a taxicab. I went there by myself, chiefly because no one here shares the same passion I have for such kind of music. The venue was packed. I could count with my fingers the Filipinos in the audience; most were Caucasians. The gig was okay. The front act, a Vancouver-based band named The Yoko Casionos delivered catchy music. I bought a copy of their CD. Sloan started at about 10:30 and played a two-hour set. I was disappointed because Sloan didn't play any single song from Smeared (1994), my favorite Sloan album, which contains "I Am the Cancer," "500 Up," "Underwhelmed," and "Lemonzinger." I bought a copy of their latest release, Never Hear the End of It (2006).

...
I planned not to work yesterday, Friday, but the healthcare agency called early in the morning, about 6 a.m., requesting me to go to Tache Centre to work from 7:30 a.m. to 3:30. That left me with no choice. I took a taxicab and got there in abour 30 minutes. I was a bit tired during the shift because my body was conditioned to rest the whole day. Anyway, the thought of earning about 90 dollars for that eight-hour shift was enough to change my lazy mood.

...
Later, I wouldn't be working. I already told the agency that I had to prepare my stuff for my moving out. Yes, I'm finally moving in to the house of my friend Roy--more convenient,more accessible, near to the bus stops and to the places of my works, and most of all, I have my own room. I've long been looonging for privacy--sleep when I needed or wanted to. Just lie around the house when I'm in a lazy mood.

...
Oops, time to sleep.

Last three songs:
"The Golden Calf" - Prefab Sprout
"Amelia" - The Mission U.K.
"Already Yesterday" - The Church

The Halven Story continues

2006-10-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

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Read the updated entry of "Half Life Half Death" on Wikipedia, which includes recent musical developments; features newly uploaded images.

The album designs below are conceptualized and rendered by yours truly.

The Halven Discography

The Halven Trilogy Part One: half forgotten songs (eLf ideas, 2003/2007)
1. Tsanel Tsek
2. Alimango
3. Kapit-Tukô
4. Kapalarang Kuwago
5. Sarimanok
6. Nosi Ba Lasi [Lala's mix]
7. Aligue (taba ng alimango)
8. High School (Life)
9. Engkanto
10. Cariñosa
11. Sa Paskong Darating
12. Halina sa Peryà

The Halven Trilogy Part Two: half remembered dreams (eLf ideas, 2003/2007)
1. Channel Check
2. A Feast in Pastel Castle
3. If All Sleep Tonight
4. We Are the Saints
5. Butterflies
6. Brother's Pen
7. Summer's Rain
8. Radio Madness
9. Unfated Love
10. A Night like This [live]
11. Butterflies [live]
12. Brother's Pen [eLven mix]

The Halven Trilogy Part Three: half buried treasures (eLf ideas, 2007)
1. The Queen has a newborn son
2. At nanipit ang mga alimango
3. Butterflies die in silence
4. Highschool life [baluga mix]
5. Where are the saints? We
6. There’s a place I’ve found

The Woes of Emong Payaso by haLf man haLf eLf (eLf ideas / Kalabasa Records, 2007)
1. Mahiwagang sapatos ni Emong Payaso
2. Parang karnabal--ganyan ang buhay ng tao
3. Tuluy-tuloy ang palabas sa entablado
4. Sa likod ng bawat tagumpay ay kalbaryo

Songs for Moonlit Nights by The Rain (retitled, 2007; originally Girl in Mind, 2006)
1. Girl in Mind
2. Pourin' Rain
3. Singing My Pain Away
4. The Ghost in You [originally by The Psychedelic Furs]
5. Ben's Magic
6. Perfect Moment
7. Shouldn't Spoil the Day
8.Cold Rooms
9. I, Sisyphus
10. More to Lose [originally by Seona Dancing]
11. Games

half baked delicacies by Dream Kitchen (Mark I) (Purple Studio 4-track demoes, 1999)
1) Vanilla Float 2) The Never Ending Why 3) For Her Brilliance 4) Silver Spoon on My Mouth 5) Buhay-Karnabal

It's not yet over

2006-10-19T22:33:00.000-05:00

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August 2006 pictures

Here are several low-resolution pictures of haLf man haLf eLf (aLfie vera mella, vocalist/keyboardist; Roy Gutierrez, guitarist; Abet, bass; and Ten-ten, drummer) taken during their performance as a front act at the Winnipeg leg of the Canadian tour of the Filipino Alternative band Siakol; held on August 26, 2006, at Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba, on Keewatin Street.

haLf man haLf eLf's playlist consisted of "For Her Brilliance" (original), "High School (Life)" (Half Life Half Death's version), "Just like Heaven" (The Cure), "I Melt with You" (Modern English), and "More to Lose" (Seona Dancing).
Now I am free, and I feel stronger...

Native sun arising, concrete walls are falling...am I as happy as you...

2006-10-19T09:46:00.000-05:00

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October 19, 2006
Thursday

This will be quick.

On my last blog entry, I said that I would start to take care of the examinations that I need and want to pursue. Well, lest procrastination afflicts me once again, yesterday after work, I got my address book and looked up the number of Canadian Immigration's Language Assessment Program.

I was able to get hold of the office and inquired if there's a challenge exam for ESL (English as a Second Language), so I would no longer take a course or something. The receptionist asked me about some details. When she learned that I'm a new permanent resident of Canada, she said that I had to undergo a four-week program which involved a crash course in English and facts about Canada.

Prior to contacting the office, a friend of mine had already given me advice that, in case Immigration brings up that crash course program, I assert that I no longer need that.

So, feeling confident and assertive, I told the lady if I could be exempted from that program since that my English is already above average and that I'm even a writer using the language, and that I already self-taught myself about Canada and its culture and that I could prove them personally at the office, that I could submit copies of my credentials and published works, and that they could interview me right away, and that I....

"Okay, wait a minute while I speak to my superior...."

Hahaha! Oh well, sometimes we need to be professionally assertive without sounding arrogant, lest we couldn't get what we rightfully deserve. Besides, here in Canada, most educational and related institutions have this program known as PLAR, which honors and recognizes a person's educational background including her/his work and other related experiences.

"PLAR (Prior Learning Assessment and Recognition) is a process of identifying, assessing, and recognizing what a person knows and can do, for the purpose of awarding academic credit." (Canadian Labour Force Development Board, 1999).

So...

The lady said to hold on for a while so she may speak to a superior first. After several minutes, she told me,

"Okay, your appointment will be on November 15, 1 p.m., at our office. We'll give you the examination and an interview. Bring your permanent-residence documents as well as your Manitoba health card. Good luck."

Yes! I got away from having to undergo a four-week program, which would surely be helpful, but which I feel I'd no longer be needing, especially that I couldn't afford to spend four weeks of my busy time on it. I'd rather spend this one whole month on other more fruitful endeavors.

...
Half Life Half Death - "Kapit-Tuko"

Surfing YouTube dot com, I stumbled upon these two personally made videos that used one of the songs of my erstwhile band Half Life Half Death. The lead actor in the first video had obviously saw us back in the '90s during our TV guestings, because he seemed to know my usual moves and performance antics. He also spoofed my trademark use of a small plastic toy guitar in each of our TV performances. Great video. Thanks!

The second video employed our song as a background for his photo commentary on the administration of the current president of the Philippines, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

I share what my friend and former Half Life Half Death bandmate Pet de Jesus said: "It never crossed my mind that 'Kapit-Tuko' could also have a political bent to it."

New dreams for old

2006-10-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

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October 18, 2006
Wednesday

Last weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I worked double shifts at Riverview Health Centre, from 730 a.m. to 11:45 p.m. Working my ass off, hey? Well, you can say that. But can you blame me? My close friends and those who are privy of my adventures and misadventures here in Canada, since 2003, would understand me somehow.

You see, after three years of having to spend virtually all my days and nights taking care of my belated grandfather, I feel now that I deserve to be free--free as a bird that doesn't have any woe (if there's such a species of bird).

I've been analyzing again myself; like Carl Jung, hey? You can say that again. For the past two months and so of my getting to work again, I've been working so hard. Proving anything? Yes, I want to prove to myself that, wherever I may be, I am good at what I do. I don't want to be mediocre. I always wanted to excel...whatever occupation or preoccuptaion that might be.

But, of course, there are times when I feel like I need a break, when I need a rest.

Like this week--I've been working at A&W since Monday (until tomorrow, Thursday), and I didn't get any shift as a healthcare aide. I just spent some time at the public library after work. I rented DVDs and checked out some new books.

Most of all, I try to find sparks of inspiration from the spiritual energy emanating in the library and from all the diverse students populating the library. And after hours of contemplation, I decided that...

I will finally contact Language Assessment and book an appointment for the English benchmarking examination. I will be needing this in case I study at a university. The highest is 9, and I will attain that! University? Yes, I plan to study again, and playing in my mind is to take a course related to English Literature, Languages, or perhaps Anthropology or Social Psychology. Oh well, I want to realign myself in this area.

But of course, I will also pursue nursing. I will soon go to College of Registered Nurses of Manitoba to learn if I can challenge the nursing examination at once (after self-studying) or if I need to take the six-month refresher course.

Yes, I will go back to school again. I want to prove something, not to others but to myself.

I want to realign myself.

I had a dream...

And I will make this come true.

I will.

Yes, I will.

Soon.

For now, I'll keep on working hard.

On a thousand islands in the sea, I see a thousand people dressed like me

2006-10-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

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October 14, 2006
Saturday

Oh wow, several days have passed without writing a new entry on my blog site. Oh well, blame it on my having no Internet connection at home. Another thing, personal Web sites like blog sites are inaccessible on the PCs at the public libraries here.

Anyway...

Winter has indeed arrived. Snow fell a few days ago. The temperature suddenly dropped to negative 7 degrees. I really found excruciatingly difficult covering the 20-minute-walk from the house to the bus stop. So, what I usually did for the past weekdays was, call taxicabs to pick me up at home. Yeah, that was comfortable, but it was very expensive and non-economical. Imagine, $12 for a trip from the house to A&W where I earn only $7.75 per hour! This is the reason I usually request for double shifts at my other job, to compensate for my seemingly unnecessary expenses. Yeah, I usually work from 7:30 a.m. till 11:45 p.m. at Riverview Health Centre or at Tuxedo Villa. At least, from my job as a healthcare aide, I get to earn $12 per hour, and this work of mine is really preparing me for my future career as a registered nurse. I really need to pursue this goal.

...
Finally I decided. I will move out of my relatives' house. I'll rent a room at the house of my friend Roy, who has really been very kind, accommodating, and understanding. And since he's the guitarist of my band haLf man haLf eLf, we can spend more time practicing during unbusy moments. He, too, works in the healthcare field--as a pharmacy assistant, so that guy is also busy as a bee. Most of all, I feel at-home every time I'm there at his house. As what he told me, I would have my own room, could use the utilities, and get to pay a very reasonable rent.

I think this is another big step for my life here. Other than finally having my privacy, I will begin living my life independently; not that I haven't tried this before, but here in Canada, to be able to live my life on my own--at last--is certainly a big welcome on my part.

...
I just finished the third module of my homestudy, Social Psychology. ' been topping the online exams. One last module to go, then I'm finished!

While I'm waiting for the last module to arrive on the mail, I've started reading a supplementary book, which I find really interesting. Learning about different peoples and cultures and languages is really my interest. The book I've began studying is 'Readings in Contemporary Cultural Anthropology.'

The first words that caught my fancy:

"There is nothing deviant or abnormal about being alienated from one's society."

Today, I won't think of any sad thing

2006-10-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

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October 2, 2006
Monday

I started the week with a positive vibe. I'm up and running with my jobs. This morning, I was wroking at A&W Restaurant, from 9 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Then, I bounced immediately to my other job, at Riverview Health Centre. I took the evening shift, 3:30 p.m. till 11:45 p.m.

Work is relatively easy, though some Alzheimer's-afflicted residents were giving me a hard time. I found a bit difficult changing them into pyjamas and putting them to beds, because some of them were resisting. But I was able to manage them after all, with help from my partner healthcare aide.

Tomorrow, my work at A&W would be 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. At last, I can have a longer sleep later, not unless my agency calls early in the morning to give me a morning shift, 7:30 a.m. to 3:45 p.m. And I'm in the mood to work. I always think about the money that I would be wasting if I refuse an assignment.

...
I'm already excited about finishing the "Karnabal" single that Emong Payaso and I have been working on for almost a year. As soon as we finish it, and I have the CD cover sleeves printed, I'll drop by at Cafe 100.7 FM radio station to submit a copy for airplay. A Filipino deejay there, named Chester Pangan, is interested in playing my music on air, especially that he has already been playing regularly songs of my former band Half Life Half Death.

...
The Canadian Alternative Rock band Sloan, one of my favorites since the '90s, will be playing on October 20 at Silverado's, a venue near where I live. I must watch this gig. I hope that they'll include on their playlist songs from their Smeared album, tracks like "I Am the Cancer," "500 Up," and "Underwhelmed.

Time flies

2006-10-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

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October 1, 2006
Sunday

One week has passed since my last entry. I've been busy with work, and, besides, I'm using Internet only when I get the chance to drop by a public library after work; or when I'm assigned at Riverview Health Centre, where there are Internet-ready PCs available during break time.

Last week was virtually all work for me. For three days, I worked double shifts a day as a healthcare aide; and on the sides, as usual, I'm still working at the A&W Restaurant. Good thing was, I could still manage to allot time for the "Karnabal" recording project of mine, which is nearly finished.

...
Last day, I called Chester Pangan, a Filipino deejay at an FM radio station here in Winnipeg, and asked him if I could drop by the station to give him a copy of the single edit of my first single, "Parang Karnabal," as haLf man haLf eLf. He was the person who hosted the recent Siakol concert, in which my band performed as one of the front acts. I also gave him that night copies of the repackaged, self-produced albums of my erstwhile band Half Life Half Death.

I was amazed to learn from Chester that he has been playing songs by Half Life Half Death on air. Some friends here told me that they heard Half Life Half Death's "High School (Life)" more than once. I am yet to hear the songs myself. Chester told me that he'd included once again some HLHD songs in his playlist for next week.

I will drop by at the station one of these days, as soon as I finished the CD cover for the single.

...
I'm currently here at Riverview Health Centre, working from 3:30 p.m. to 11:45 p.m. I'm just having my second break. Work today is relatively easy. My work as a healthcare aide is becoming easier and easier for me, an obvious sign that I've finally got into the routine of the work; and this is good, because I always go to work with a sense of excitement in what I would be doing. I've no more of the "stage fright," which I remember having during my first days as a healthcare aide. And I guess, my passion for everything I put my mind into is working to my advantage, because the nurses and other coworkers of mine always commend my performance.

Oops, time to go back to work.

Catch you later.

Picture it now, see just how, the light that you see

2006-09-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

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September 24, 2006
Sunday

Yesterday, I called my agency around lunch, to see if they could give an evening shift for me. I was in the mood to work, especially that I missed several days of possible shifts in the previous week, because I was down with cough and cold. Bored of having to be alone at home in the afternoon, I decided to go out and check out the boutiques and shops in Osborne.

I trekked Osborne and checked out some of the clothes shops and book shops there, stores like Hush, Cryptic Wear, and Kustom Kulture. I ended up at a big DVD/CD rent/buy shop, where I found in the used-CD bin 10 noteworthy CDs, for only $10: which include Alison Moyet's Essex, Vanilla Trainwreck's Mordecai, The Dambuilders' Encendador, Dramarama, The Poohsticks, The Connels, and The Smoking Popes' Born to Quit, some of which I used to have in cassette-taper format. I also registered for membership so I can rent DVDs. For my first rent, I took advantage of the 6 DVDs for 7 days for only $10. I rented The Heavenly Kid, Belle Epoche, and FlightPlan among others.

I went home afterwards. I called the healthcare agency and asked for a double shift tomorrow, which is today. I'm compensating for the days I missed in the previous week.

So today, this morning, I worked at the CD 1 and CD2 wings, from 7:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., and then proceeded to work at AB 1 wing, 3:30 p.m. till 11:45 a.m. Luckily, the routine and procedures are relatively easy; besides, I'm getting more and more confident in what I am doing as a healthcare aide. More so, the coworkers I encounter are always helpful and easy to work with.

My other job, A&W Restaurant, called a while ago, asking me to work tomorrow from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m; so, tomorrow will certainly be another busy day for me.

I'm taking advantage of my sudden adrenaline-filled mood to work these days. I'm in high gear.

Catch you again tomorrow.

...
Lastly, I received a message on Friendster, from Leah Pios, a former staff of mine when I was still a supervisor at Quorum/Lanier in the Philippines, in the late '90s. I was inspired by Leah's message. After all the years, Leah said that my words of wisdom which I used to share with them through my eLf ideas newsletters continue to inspire her. How amazing it feels...to realize that I did really leave an indelible positive mark in the lives of many people with whom I used to work, and this continues to burn an inspiring and humbling compassion and sense of affinity for people in my heart.

...
As always, I am who I was. I may have changed, but hopefully for the better...a stronger eLf--more mature, more understanding, and more accepting of my weaknesses and more acknowledging of rooms of improvement.

...
Song for the day:
The Bluebells - Forever More

Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate

2006-09-22T16:03:00.000-05:00

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September 22, 2006
Friday

3:55 p.m., I just got off from my shift at Riverview Health Centre. Work today was relatively tough, but I thank the Fates for making me feel always confident and competent about my healthcare aide job for the past several weeks.

Pay attention to details...
I would always look back at my first days, which began only in the end of July, and this would always amaze me--for I remember too well how nervous and clueless and helpless I was during those first exposure to the work routine at the health institutions; but now, I've become skilful enough. Yes, there are still lots of rooms for improvement, and I'm paying attention to details every working day.

I also saw Adolph, a Black fellow healthcare aide. He was one of the first coworkers with whom I worked. I remember very well most of his pieces of advice during those trying first days. He told me: "You always looked panicky, Alfie. With our kind of job, we should always be brave. Just pay attention and always remember the routine, and you would get into the groove in a matter of days." Yes, I remember now where I got that "get into the groove" thing.

This morning, while I was having my breakfast at the cafeteria, someone sat beside me. It was Adolph. He asked me, as usual: "How's it going?"

I answered with eagerness: "Hey, Adolph, how are yeah! I'm now more confident in my job, with the routine. I always keep in mind what you used to tell me...'pay attention to details, be alert, and always remember the routine....'"

He just replied with a sincere smile.

Oops! It's 4:04 p.m. The bus is arriving soon. I have to go now.

I might stroll around Osborne first before going home. There are lots of boutiques and CD and book shops there.

Mahilig ka ba...?
Last night, too, I received an e-mail from Tita Linda Cantiveros, the chief editor of The Filipino Journal, the newspaper for which I am writing. She told me that my article "Mahilig Ka Ba sa Rock Music?" would be appearing in the forthcoming issue. This would serve as the vehicle for the photographs taken from the August 26 Winnipeg concert of the Filipino Alternative Rock band Siakol at P.C.C.M. She also asked me to write the captions for the pictures. I'll be posting the article as soon as the issue is already published.

I remember faces...
By the way, last night, before going to the house of my friend Emong Payaso, I dropped by at the Canada Post at Garden City Shopping Centre. I received a final notice from the post office, telling me to pick up a parcel. I already picked up a package a few days ago, so I surmised that it must have been the same stuff; but I went anyway; I'm on the way anyway. And right was I, that final notice was for the same package I picked up a few days ago.

The staff who attended to me was a Filipina. I didn't pay much attention to her because I was in a hurry; the bus which I would be catching was soon arriving. But of course, I remember faces.

Then, in a flash of coincidence, when I was already at Emong Payaso's house, I checked my e-mails; and there I received a message posted on my blog site. It was from a certain Angela. Here is her message:

"Hi! This is not related to your entry, but I believe I met you last night at the post office. Were you the one who asked me about the final notice card that you received in your mailbox?"

Angela

Wow! That was flattering! Thank you for remembering me. And sorry if I might have appeared as disoriented that moment. I was in a hurry, to catch the bus. I was just wondering how you found out my blog site. But, anyway, thanks for dropping by. I already fluttered by your Web site. And ' nice to see that you're also a bibliophilist. I could relate with you very well when you mentioned that your mother was already complaining about your plan to purchase another bookshelf. I, too, live my life in my room with my books. Actually, after this, I'll be again trekking the little book shops here and there. See yeah 'round, 'ey!

Keep the flame burning

2006-09-22T13:59:00.000-05:00

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September 22, 2006
Friday

I guess this is a good sign--that no matter if my coworkers would warn me beforehand that the ward to which I'm assigned is tough and heavy, I would feel otherwise. I no longer feel nervous and inconfident about working as a healthcare aide. I'm finally dancing into the groove (Pardon the Madonna allusion).

No longer clueless...
From washing the residents, changing diapers, giving baths, changing their clothes, transferring them from beds to wheelchairs, to feeding them and putting them back to bed in the evening--I can do these all without feeling clueless and stupid.

Experience is really the mother of all learning.

Also, before I began working, I had a bit of an inferiority complex--afraid that my coworkers (especially the Caucasians and those who have had their education here in Canada) would swallow me whole, so to speak. But, I found out that I am able to work at par with many of them. In fact, I still couldn't believe when some coworkers would commend me for being hardworking and friendly and smart-looking. I hope they're right after all. You see, I always have this self-doubt. Perhaps the perfectionist in me is always at fault. No matter how much I give my best, I always feel that I'm still lacking skills.

But still doubtful once in a while...
Just like in my writing talent. Until now, after having worked as an editor/writer of academic textbooks and magazines for many years, I would still question and doubt my writing ability. Not even if the chief editor of The Filipino Journal used to tell me how good I am at what I do.

Oh well, breaktime is over once again. It's 2:00 p.m. Time to go back to my wing. I'll be off at 3:45 p.m.

Keep the flame in me burning...
By the way, the message posted by Miss Fredda on the comments section inspired me a lot--about how significant my erstwhile band Half Life Half Death had been in the '90s Filipino Alternative Rock Music scene. Thank you very much. You keep the flame in me kindling. I'll wave the torch of music till the day that I die. Don't worry, I'll re-upload some of Half Life Half Death's song, perhaps on MySpace. Just check my blog site from time to time. Keep on believing that music changes lives, preferably for the better.

...
More day-to-day stories to tell later.

Be back soon.

Works is a five-letter word

2006-09-22T07:23:00.000-05:00

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September 22, 2006
Friday

Guess what! I'm currently at one of the free PCs with Internet connection here at Riverview Health Centre. The time is 7:15 a.m., waiting for my 7:30 shift. Last night, I dropped by at the house of my friend Emong Payaso, to resume our "Karnabal" musical project. The session was quite fruitful as we were able to make the backbone music to the prologue and epilogue for the "Karnabal" single. Since we finished late, I decided to sleep over. Good decision, for early this morning, my work called, asking me to do a morning shift here at Riverview; so here I am.

Oops! Time to go...

Like a platypus

2006-09-21T20:49:00.000-05:00

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September 21, 2006
Thursday

Nothing significant for the past days, except that people here where I am, including myself, cannot escape the effects of the weather changes. Cough and cold is normal during this inbetween seasons.

My life right now is on a seeming plateau. It practically revolves around my jobs and stealing some rest time at home. The only things that keep me inspired, aside from my loved ones in the Philippines, are my musical projects and my writing career.

...
Another article of mine, "Mahilig Ka Ba sa Rock Music?", will be featured in forthcoming issue of The Filipino Journal.

...
Until now, my haLf man haLf eLf first single, "Parang karnabal--ganyan ang buhay ng tao," is yet to be finished, and this is starting to frustrate me. The perfectionist in me is really getting into my nerves!

...
I'm still juggling my jobs at A&W Restaurant and at the nursing homes. Compared with my first weeks, I'm more comfortable now. The main problem remains the same--my having to cover a 20-minute-walk distance from the house to the nearest bus stop. By the time I get to my work, I've already exhausted so much energy. I hope that by October I can finally move in to a friend's house, which is just two blocks away from the bus stops.

Winter is looming!

2006-09-17T18:04:00.000-05:00

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September 17, 2006
Sunday

After not accepting any healthcare aide shift for a few days, because I was (and still am) afflicted with cough and cold, I've finally decided to get back into the groove.

I'm currently here at Riverview Health Centre. Todays is Sunday, but I decided to take an evening shift, 3:30 p.m. to 11:45 p.m. Fortunately, the work routine today is relatively easy.

These days I can already feel the Winter pangs. I guess I need to buy my Winter gear this week--boots and a nice Winter jacket.

At Last!

2006-09-14T00:52:00.000-05:00

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September 13, 2006
Wednesday

At last! I'm a Canadian resident. Last Monday, September 11, was my appointment at the Canadian Immigration. The process took only about fifteen minutes. I just presented my passport and submitted my work permit and two photographs (for my permanent resident card [PRC]), and then the customer service agent, a Filipino named Sigfried del R., had me sign the immigration papers. He said that I should receive my PRC via the mail after about three weeks.

After the appointment, I walked to the nearby Forks park lighthearted. I was smiling and breathing with eyes half-closed, while the autumn winds were kissing my skin. It was a fine day. Very fine day.

I thought of treating myself to a lunch at a sushi restaurant, but I couldn't find one in the vicinity.

I dropped by at the healthcare agency for which I work, and submitted my timesheets. And since I was off that day, I decided instead to go to the house of my friend Emong Payaso. And there we resumed our recording of the long overdue single "Parang karnabal--ganyan ang buhay ng tao." I'm realizing that being a perfectionist has a lot of disadvantages, one of which is the inability to meet your own standards at a given time. We started recording the "Karnabal" song last December, and until now we are not yet finished. Oh well...

...
I have no Internet connection at home for about a week now, and this is very difficult and inconvenient. Because I had to transfer my PC from the basement to my temporary room (the room vacated my cousin who went to Las Vegas, Nevada, to work), the Internet connection is yet to be reinstalled by our ISP.

...
Finally, I bought myself my first cellular phone here in Canada, a Sony Ericsson equipped with a media player and a camera. Now I feel more comfortable every time I'm out of the house. Besides, the healthcare agency for which I work can get hold of me anytime, especially when they need to assign a work shift for me.

...
Winter is looming. I could feel it especially during the nights, as the cold winds start to bite my skin.

...
I had my third driving-lesson session. It went well. I got to drive in the busy area of the city. The instructor also began to teach me parallel parking. I felt more comfortable and confident, compared to the previous sessions.

...
I have asked for shorter hours at my A&W work, because I'm starting to feel the exhaustion. I need longer time for rest and sleep these days.

"What's money when the body is sick?" Did I remember it right?

Patas nga ba ang buhay?

2006-09-08T00:43:00.000-05:00

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Jester, Juggler, Jumper
Jest, Juggle, Jump
Jesting, Juggling, Jumping
Jested, Juggled, Jumped

Words...simple they may seem,
yet they mean so many things...
as they change their forms, they also change their meanings.

Just like...

September 8, 2006

I haven't been writing so much here on my blog site for the last couple of weeks. I'm always busy juggling jobs. But that's okay. Every time I get to receive the fruits of my labor, my exhaustion seems to disappear. Besides, I've been gradually getting good in the groove of my jobs, especially with my work as a healthcare aide. I've also been receiving positive remarks from some coworkers concerning my work ethics. I hope that this continues to inspire me and to encourage me especially into pursuing a nursing career.

Despite my being a juggler, I still manage to practice my being a jester once in a while. Emong Payaso, my musical collaborator, and I have resumed recording. We wanted to finish our 3-song EP The Woes of Emong Payaso soon. At the rate of it, we might finish it in two months' time.

One good result of the recent Siakol gig was that an FM radio station based here in Winnipeg (100.7), with a Filipino dj named Chester Pangan on board, has begun to play my former band Half Life Half Death's song "High School (Life)." I'm excited to finish my "Karnabal" project, so it could be played on the station soon.

...
The Filipino Journal, the community newspaper for which I'm writing, offered me to become an Assistant Editor. I'm considering the position. Another ball to juggle though. If only I have more than two hands. Let's see, if I can do some more magics.

...
Happy birthday to my youngest sister, Nina Rica, September 6. I'm happy for your having a son, my new nephew Dirk.

...
Oh well, I'm always in a hurry these days. Like now, I have to go to sleep already. Tomorrow I'll be working at Riverview Health Centre again. I hope that I'll have a not-so-tough day.

...
Listening to Madder Rose's Hello June Fool and The Magic Numbers self-titled album.

...

Mga Berso para sa Setyembre

Patas nga ba ang buhay sa mundo?
Huwag na kaya nating itanong.
Mahalaga'y nabubuhay tayo.

Bawat araw, wala nang inisip
Kundi ang kumayod at mag-ipon.
Para sa 'kin at sa 'yo...panghalip.

Kung higit sa dal'wa aking kamay,
Mas marami kayang magagawa?
Mas dadali kaya aking buhay?

Bawat s'werteng aking natatamo
Ay bunga ng aking paghihirap
At ng tatlong taong sakripisyo.

Kapag ako ay napag-iisa
Naaalala ko'ng aking lolo,
Pero hindi na 'ko naluluha.

Musika pa rin ang nasa puso,
May tinta pa rin ang aking pluma,
Tuloy pa rin ang mga pangako.

Malapit na naman ang tag-nyebe,
Dama ko na ang lamig ng hangin.
Tuluy-tuloy na sana ang s'werte.

Mga dahon ay nalalaglag na;
Nagpaparamdam na ang taglagas.
Lagi nang maginaw sa umaga.

...

Siakol with haLf man haLf eLf in Winnipeg

2006-08-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

August 2006 pictures

.Filipino Alternative band Siakol arriving at Winnipeg International Airport on August 20, 2006, for their concert at Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba

Relatives of Siakol's manager Jason Gerodias who live in Winnipeg; Jason last saw his relatives 28 years ago

I with Siakol's bassist, Wowie Flores, and Jaizen (son of friend Jason Paredes, who produced the Siakol concert in Winnipeg)

with Siakol's vocalist, Noel Palomo, and Jaizen again

Siakol's Wowie Flores (bassist), Miniong Cervantes (guitarist), and James Rodriguez (drummer) with the eLf

---

haLf man haLf eLf's practice sessions at Roy's basement, in preparation for the Siakol concert

Abet, bassist; Tenten, drummer, Roy, guitarist; eLf, vocalist and keyboardist

"We used to cry about the days when one of us might fall..."

"Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick..."

"Moving forward, using all my breath..."

"Here I come, my brilliant friend, knocking on your heart again..."

More pictures soon...

Always Saturday

2006-08-26T08:55:00.000-05:00

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August 26, 2006

The past week was very relaxing and therapeutic, considering that I have been working really hard, sometimes even accepting double shifts a day--7:30 a.m. to 11:45 p.m.--at my job at Riverview Health Centre as a healthcare aide.

Monday
As usual, I worked at A&W Restaurant from Monday to Wednesday, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. I'm already comfortable with the work routine there; I just need some more exposure with the drive-thru, which usually gives me a rush especially when customers come in quick succession. But I like it that way, because time flies by like a peregrine falcon when you're absorbed in what you're doing. Besides, doing nothing makes me feel useless.

Tuesday
After my work at A&W, I headed to the house of my friend and bandmate Roy, where my band haLf man haLf eLf had a practice session in preparation for the Siakol concert on Saturday. The practice was fruitful. We were able to polish our playlist. Our new drummer Ten-ten's work ethics reminded me of my best-friend and former bandmate with Half Life Half Death Bimbo Ballesteros, who was always punctual and always arrived well prepared.

Wednesday
I went to Garden City Shopping Centre after my work at A&W; came there at around seven. I met with the publisher of Philippine Times, another newspaper here in Winnipeg. After an engaging conversation, she discussed the writing style that she wanted of me for her newspaper. It would be something like an editorial, in which I would state or present an issue and then give my opinion and observation about it, using a combination of sarcasm and humor. This, I said, I could try working on. I proceeded to Roy's after the meeting and had another band practice. Abet with his family dropped me off home afterwards.

Thursday
After lunch, I went to the house of my friend Jimboy, president of Famous, an association of bands here in Winnipeg. He would be taking Siakol to Pampanga Restaurant, the owner of which would be treating us to a free buffet dinner.

We proceeded to Jim's place afterwards, where several more friends arrived for a get-together. Siakol members were down-to-earth. I was also flattered because they knew my band Half Life Half Death. They even sang to some of my erstwhile band's songs when Jim played our CD--songs like "Alimango," "Kapit-Tuko," and especially "High School (Life)."

Roy arrived and we went to their place and had a short practice, and then we returned to Jim's.

Friday
I went to Computer Boulevard on St. James to buy some blank CD-Rs. I proceeded to Jason's house around four. Siakol was having a practice session there. Around 6:30 they dropped me off at Roy's. There'd be a small gig at Howard Johnson Hotel in the evening, a sort of a press conference for Siakol.

My band haLf man haLf eLf played a set. It was a tighter set compared to the ones we had in the previous gigs.

I slept over at Roy's. And now, after this blog entry, I'll be heading home. I'll be coming with my relatives to the christening of the son of my cousin Heinjie. Lunch.

I'll just head to PCCM afterwards--the venue of the Siakol concert which happens later today. I need to be at the venue for the soundcheck.

...
Song for the day: "Always Saturday" by Guadalcanal Diary

When the Piper Calls

2006-08-21T23:09:00.000-05:00

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August 21, 2006
Monday

Holiday in the Philippines, Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino's death anniversary. Not in Canada. Today's just another working day.

Yesterday, Sunday, August 20, we had dinner at Tita Cora's house. Some of my friends were there, including Norne who dropped me off at my friend Jason's house. I'd be joining them in picking up Siakol at Winnipeg International Airport.

Some more friends were there to pick up the band, who came from the Montreal, Quebec, leg of their Canadian Tour. We wanted to give Siakol a warm welcome, especially that they are visitors from the Philippines.

Siakol's flight arrived at around 10 p.m. Picture taking. The band comprised of Noel, Miniong, Wowie, and James with their manager Jason (not Jason my friend here).

We all proceeded to Roy's house, who prepared food for dinner.

The get-together ended at around 1 a.m. I slept over there. I had work at A&W in the morning.

...
Today, Monday, I was supposed to join Jason and Siakol in the radio guesting at CKJS, a Winnipeg-based Filipino radio station. Too tired, I decided not to go. Besides, I had work at A&W.

...
After my shift at A&W, around 6 p.m., I went to the nearby Salon de Manila (at the PCCM establishment). I had a haircut and, in a spur of mood, I had my hair dyed with streaks of red, in time for our concert on August 26, Saturday, as one of the front acts of Siakol.

...

While at the salon, the owner of The Filipino Journal, Mr. Rod Cantiveros, dropped by to drop off copies of the latest issue. The current article for my Engkanto series is there, "Some More Bantay-Katubigan Deities."

...
When I was working at Riverview last weekend, I met a sister of the publisher of another community newspaper based here in Winnipeg, The Philippine Times. When the person, named Tess, learned that I'm currently a columnist at The Filipino Journal, she invited me to give her brother a call, whom she said would most likely be interested in having me as a contributor for the newspaper. Another streak of luck! It's really helpful that I'm starting to build a connection here where I am, not for the purpose of asking favors but primarily for the purpose of increasing my chances of getting opportunities in whatever field or career.

Just a while ago, I called the brother, named Orlie Marcelino, the publisher of The Philippine Times. The result of that short phone conversation was promising. We'd be meeting on Wednesday to talk about my interest to write for the newspaper. I've also learned that, in the past, he illustrated for Adarna Books, a publisher of children's books based in the Philippines. When he learned, in turn, that I became an editor at Diwa Publishing, handling English Grammar & Literature and Science & Technology, and that I can also write about History, Music, and Culture, he became more interested. I just hope that our meeting on Wednesday will bear some fruits.

...
Tomorrow, Tuesday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. shift at A&W Restaurant; afterwards, I'll proceed to Roy's; we have a band practice. I might sleep over there again.

Eventhough my body is kind of tired because of my jobs, I'm in high spirits because of the little opportunities that continue to greet me as I trek my path here in Canada.

...
I have received many e-mails from friends from far away, extending their congratulations for my newfound jobs, for the forthcoming granting of my permanent resident status, and for haLf man haLf eLf's gig with Siakol on Saturday.

Thank you once again. As I always say, mere letters are potent enough to keep my passion for life burning.

...
Song for the day: "When the Piper Calls" by China Crisis

haLf man haLf eLf strikes again

2006-08-20T18:13:00.000-05:00

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August 17, 2006
Thursday

Today's the birthday of my sister Karen. My wish for her is that her and her son Algae's immigration to the US may finally push through next year. My nephew Algae is already eleven, and assimilating American Culture is riper for his age.

...

After my work shift at A&W Restaurant, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., I called the office of my other job to ask if there was an available evening shift at Riverview Health Centre. I was in the mood to work all day. Unfortunately, my call was too late. Naiasha the scheduler told me that she left a message at home, informing me to return call to confirm if I could work in the afternoon. And when it was already past 12 and I was not yet returning her call, she had to find another healthcare aide. I went to the office instead to get my first pay cheque.

As soon as I got my first salary as a healthcare aide, my weariness from work suddenly disappeared. I couldn't believe that I earned that much, to think that I worked only for a total of 55 hours. I immediately mentally calculated 55 hours x 12 dollars per hour.

Finally I was able to buy a new knapsack, to replace my old one, the one I was using since I arrived here in Canada in 2003. Goodbye finally, my torn and tattered blue backpack. Hello, my brand new pink one!

Passing by a comics and toys hobby shop in downtown, I checked out some action figures on sale. After less than an hour, I left the store with 3 DC superhero action figures for only $5 each--Elongated Man, Black Hand, and Max Mercury.

...
Friday, August 18, I didn't have work. I got to rest the whole morning. After lunch, I went to the bank and deposited my first pay cheque. I proceeded to Polo Park Shopping Centre and met my friend Jason, who accompanied me to Mother's Music Store, where I rented the keyboard that I would be using for my band's practices in preparation for our concert on August 26, as a front act for Siakol.

...
I said in a previous blog entry that I wouldn't be accepting a healthcare job on the weekends; but when the agency called me and asked me to take a morning shift, I felt that I would be wasting money. I worked after all--both yesterday and today (Saturday and Sunday). I was assigned at Riverview Health Centre, on Morley Avenue, in Osborne Village. I like working at that facility, which was clean and more well-organized compared with the other health centers I'm also working at. Another great thing about Riverview is that Internet use is free during break times.

...
Last night, my band haLf man haLf eLf had our first practice in preparation for the Siakol gig on August 26. We'd be playing a 30-minute set, consisting of six songs: "I Melt with You" (Modern English), "Just like Heaven" (The Cure), "More to Lose" (Seona Dancing), "Enjoy the Silence" (Depeche Mode), "For Her Brilliance" (original), and "High School (Life)" (the version of my former band Half Life Half Death). The current lineup of haLf man haLf eLf are me (vocals and keyboards), Dirty Roy (guitars and backing vocals), Abet (bass), and Ten-ten (drums). All I wish is for us to deliver a tight set.

...
Today, Sunday, I worked a day shift (7:30 a.m. to 3:45 p.m.) at Riverview Health Centre. Aboard a bus on my way home, heavy rain poured without a warning. Fortunately, there's a covered waiting shed by the Manila/Jefferson bus stop at which I was alighting. I was stuck there for about thirty minutes. I waited until I was sure that the rain had really stopped.

...
Siakol members will arrive later, coming from the Montreal, Quebec, leg of their Canadian tour. My friend Jason Paredes is the producer of the concert. I'll be joining him in picking up Siakol at the airport. Their plane will arrive at 10 p.m. We'll proceed to the house of Roy, who will give Siakol a welcome barbecue get-together.

...
Tomorrow morning, around 7:30 a.m., Siakol including my band haLf man haLf eLf and the rest of the bands opening for the August 26 gig (FourSight, Resurrection, and Toronto's AB Noize) will be guesting at CKJS, a Filipino radio station based here in Winnipeg.

I Will Not Take These Things for Granted

2006-08-16T18:39:00.000-05:00

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August 16, 2006
Wednesday

I just got home from my work at A&W Restaurant. A tough afternoon it was, once again. For a few hours, I practically manned both the drive-thru and the inside cashiering. I began doing this last Monday. Considering today was only my third day to do that feat, I pulled it off relatively well, with help from the manager whenever customers would arrive in a succession.

What I found difficult with the drive-thru was understanding the accent of some of the customers, who were diverse. Funnily, I could somehow guess correctly if the race of the speaker was Indian, Filipino, or Caucasian. Verbal English really comes in various flavors of accents and pronunciation. Being attentive to all of them, I've started to imitate each accent depending on my whim. I was really having fun. I am proud to say that I, compared to some of my Caucasian coworkers who are also assigned at the front area, usually evoke more smiles and warmth. Some of my coworkers tend to be serious-looking and robotic in their manner of greeting and selling.

Wary of getting shouted at or of earning annoyance if ever I make a boo-boo, I immediately greet the customers warmly as soon as they enter the establishment and approach the counter. Seeing me smiling, they have no choice but to be kind with me as well.

I've also applied the upselling and suggestive selling technique pretty well. Usually, I use a little bit of psychology. I could somehow sense when a customer knows exactly what s/he wants to order; in this case, I minimize suggesting too much add-ons. But every time I sense that the customer is indecisive with what s/he wants to order, that's when I begin to offer the specials and the other related stuff. Suggestive selling involves psychology. I should be sensitive to the current mood and personality of the person in front of me, lest I'd surely annoy her.

...
The healthcare agency called this morning, assigning me to an evening shift tomorrow, 3:30 p.m. to 11:45 p.m. In the morning, I'd be working at A&W, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., so tomorrow will be a long day.

...
I decided not to accept work on Saturday and Sunday; I have reserved the weekend for practice sessions of my band haLf man haLf eLf. We would be opening for Siakol on their gig here in Winnipeg, on August 26; less than two weeks more to go.

...
Today is Grandfather's 40th day of demise. There are visitors in the house right now, ready for the prayer session. While I--am here in the basement, writing this entry.

...
On my way home, I'm always on earphones, listening to music. This lightens up my day. Songs for today include the following:

The Cutting Crew - "Any Colour"
The Cutting Crew - "One for the Mockingbird"
Lowlife - "Ramafied"
Lowlife - "River of Woe"
The Rain - "Girl in Mind"
The Rain - "Perfect Moment"
Sugar - "If I Can't Change Your Mind"
Sugar - "Helpless"
Toad the Wet Sprocket - "I Will Not Take These Things for Granted"
Toad the Wet Sprocket - "One Wind Blows"
They Might Be Giants - "Birdhouse in Your Soul"
They Might Be Giants - "Dr. Worm"
Translator - "Come with Me"
Translator - "Gravity"
Ultravox - "One Small Day"
Ultravox - "Dancing with Tears in My Eyes"
The Wallflowers UK - "Blushing Girl, Nervous Smile"
The Wallflowers UK - "Thank You"